I feel like a puppy that's been bad

[friendofjimmyk]

You know, sad droopy eyes, tail between its legs, whimpering.

I had to do something I haven't done in a long time. Something I told myself that I would never do again....

...I had to ask my dad to borrow money.

The last time I asked my dad to borrow money, I was in a really bad spot in my life. He lent it to me against his wishes...my electricity was going to get shut off...because I was spending my money on drugs. When I got clean, I promised myself that I would be fully self-supporting. I have done so, sometimes under very stressful conditions, for over four years now.

I just recently purchased a new car. I had some money saved and I decided to pay off some medical bills that I had lagging due to my surgery at the beginning of this year. I should've saved the money and taken care of the tax, title, and licensing of the car instead. Hindsight is 20/20. I didn't think it would cost as much as it is going to. Almost $500. Now, although I can do it on my own....it will really put me in a HUGE bind. It's either borrow the money from the checking account advance through my bank. Or it was tuck my tail between my legs and ask dad.

He said yes...I wasn't going to ask for $500...but he asked how much it'd be and I told him...so he's going to send that to me. OF COURSE under the stipulation that I pay him back. I can do so when I get my student loans and grants in the fall. I have no doubt that I will pay him back. I just really hated to ask.

I could almost not breathe when I was doing so and I had to take a short walk after asking.

Oh well...things happen. I guess I'm glad I'm in a better spot...well....we both are because dad just got through some hard times himself.

[blas]

Don't feel too bad. I had to ask my parents for the 2nd or 3rd time this year to let me slide by without paying my car insurance until I got a regular check again.

This is the last week of our hour cuts at work, and it really has been a total loss losing 16 hours every 2 weeks. It's really sucked. Not to mention I still have a rent of $600 that I have to pay all by myself, and I have the clinic calling me and harrassing me for money day in and day out, and the collection agency.....gaah.

It wouldn't be so hard if I hadn't gotten in that at-fault car accident, which, to this day, I still feel isn't my fault. Sure, rear ending is always that person's fault, but when someone isn't watching where they are going and rams their brakes and you tap them at less than 5 mph....and that person dials 911 and freaks the hell out......gahh. My insurance doubled.

[persephone]

I know you hate it, but it's not as bad as you think. You aren't asking because you spent money on drugs or alcohol or something stupid. You were paying off bills. Yes, maybe you should have looked at how much tax tag and title on the car would cost, but if it's the first car you've bought, most people don't think about those things (and definitely don't realize how much it costs). I'm sure your father is happy to help you.

I'm proud of you though, and we all know (and he knows) you'll pay him back. That's the important part.

[dalesys]

Speaking from the other side (I'm not dead, just dad):

One of the joys of being a dad is when you can help any of your children.

Especially when they have been down the hard road and come back.

A song/video for you (and I am sure many others here):

Jonatha Brooke's "Prodigal Daughter"

[friendofjimmyk]

Thanks guys! I've had a lot of my friends tell me that I shouldn't feel bad about asking. The worse he could've said was, "no." But he didn't, he's gonna help.

When I bought the car...I thought about getting the loan large enough to include the tax and license charge...but when I went to the bank...the loan papers were already made out. Since someone else helped me with the loan - I have a co-signer due to the bankruptcy I filed sometime back - I didn't feel right asking for more money...I was grateful enough that someone helped me get a car!

The car - 2004 Ford Crown Vic. I got it from a state auction...so its been well maintained. I never wanted a Vic because of the gas mileage...but other than that - its proven to be one of the best cars I've owned so far. It handles like a dream and definitely much better than the 1995 Chevy Beretta I was driving. By the time I sold that thing....it was leaking so much oil that I was putting a quart in a week.

[Slytovhand]

I'll actually chime in, and suggest that it's a good think you did - asking for help.

Humans rarely do that sort of thing, and yet quite often we're so damn willing to give it. (ok, sure, generalities, but ... when it comes to friends and all...).

Asking hits the 'pride' nerve... and the pride nerve has a tendency to sit right over the 'stupid' nerve.

I'd just ask you - if one of your friends or relatives was in a bind (and you didn't know about it), would you want them to stay silent just because they might 'feel bad about asking'? Or would you slap them around the head for such silly thoughts? (besides, if we want to help our friends and give to them, how are they supposed to help return the favour if we don't give them that opportunity when we need it?)

[freeatlast]

I know how you feel - after being unemployed for over a year I finally was offered a job that pays about $7 an hour LESS than I was making at my previous job. My paycheck is less than my rent, car payment, utilities, etc. every month. And that doesn't included groceries and gas. So every month I have to borrow a few hundred dollars from my parents just so that I can eat and get to and from work. It kills me every time I have to ask and they are grateful that they can afford to help me. But it still sucks to have to do it.

[friendofjimmyk]

Asking hits the 'pride' nerve... and the pride nerve has a tendency to sit right over the 'stupid' nerve.

That's it! Pride gets in the way and most people rather suffer than practice some humility and ask for help. It never ends well that way.

[SengaKitty]

I've got a very sensitive pride nerve too. Unfortunately, what with Sir being shipped off to Job corps before I got a job, I've had to suck it up and ask. It hurts to do it, It feels like you're failing, but you're doing good. It's a good thing you asked. I'm proud of you! (I'm working on the asking for help when I need it insteado of 3 weeks later when I'm so deep I can't even eat, thing too).

[Peppergirl]

It's really hard and I can relate. I'm alot older than you and had to ask a couple of times since I got divorced.

I have to be practically destitute or REALLY desperate to ask, but I have done it.

Don't beat yourself up too badly - you're in good company. Most people, at one time or another, have had to ask relatives for help.

[Lil Bunny]

I gotta go with the *HUGS* and don't beat yourself up too badly angle as well.

We're in a tight situation here and when my glasses broke (can't drive with out them, let alone see) along with DH's tire going bad again, I was in a tizzy. Broke down, told dad the cost and asked if he'd spot me 125-150. He sent 175 with the stipulation that I pay 25 every pay check. If I could do back flips I would have.

I've sent him the money as scheduled (except this weekend, due to the death in the family I forgot to get it in the mail this morning). If I have kids and they get into a jam once and again, you bet I'll be there for them as well.

HUGS again!!!!

[Bella_Vixen]

Pride is exactly why I never got a place to live on my own before now.

I couldn't afford it, and I have issues asking for money.

Even now, I can't afford the place I'm currently living, but I'm looking into and have a VERY good lead on a place I CAN afford on my own...well, everything except food, anyway...but Becks and I worked out a deal on that.

[Becks]

Becks and I worked out a deal on that.

The man of the household and I will buy the food and she'll cook it for all of us.