Surviving a "break"

[Giggle Goose]

To make a long story short, my boyfriend and I are on a break right now. Not necessarily a "break," really, just taking things slow. I have extreme anxiety that I'm going to therapy for; and things just kind of came to a head last Friday night. He told me he would call me that Sunday; and I wrote him a letter saying that we needed to take things slow so that we could be less stressed out...like when we first started dating. I honestly thought when we agreed to meet at his place on Sunday he just wanted to dump me and have me get my stuff. But it turned out that the letter actually worked, because sometimes it's easier to write things out than for me to say it. I get too flustered sometimes and end up starting a fight.

He says he loves me, but I usually say it first now. I'm not too worried about the semantics, though. I'm pretty confident about this; but there's always the naysayers trying to bring me down, of course. I really believe that we have a good thing going, and that we just need to let our hearts grow a little fonder with the absence. I also need to work out my anxieties on my own.

A few of you old-timers know that I had a completely miserable breakup with my ex over two years ago and I spilled my thoughts all over the board. I've matured a lot since then, and I'm actually glad my current bf had the balls to recognize that we were having problems before just dumping me out of the blue one day like the ex did. I still have some things I need to let go of.

Anyway, there's a lot more to it, but I'll answer your questions as they pop up, because I'm sure there are many. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, especially if you've been in the same situation before. I know some couples that have been on "breaks" feel that it makes them stronger, while others think it's the beginning of the end. I don't see any harm in being optimistic.

Let's talk, guys! I love that I get so many diverse opinions from neutral parties.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I've never done the "break" thing, but I've done the dialing it back a bit thing. That was relatively early in the relationship, and we were together for 2 years. (We broke up eventually for completely unrelated reasons.) If it's meant to work out, it will, and he sounds like a decent guy, so you've got that going for you.

I've also done the anxiety thing. That's no fun, and it's great that you're getting help. I was on Xanax for a while; I only took it when I needed it. I had days when I couldn't through the day at work without it, but after a while I learned to deal with the panic attacks and anxiety in other ways and was able to get off it (really, I just stopped needing it so much). I actually hung onto the bottle long after it expired; I found it in my room over a year later.

Good luck with everything. You know there's always people here for you.