I'm scared

[Misanthropical]

Yes, I know that by looking at me you can't tell when I'm scared. I am usually the one who looks calm and unfazed That is not the case, inside my head I'm freaking out. After it's all over with is when I will start crying and shaking. And yes, I have had doctors tell me I was selfish and uncaring, simply because I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Anyway, my husband recently had to go in to the hospital to get a huge kidney stone removed. Well, he has to go back in for his prostate (no, not cancer)

So, I'm worried about it. I'm the worst case scenario worrier. Right now, I'm worried he won't make it through the surgery.

I love him more than life and I can't imagine life without him in it. He is the greatest and my hero.

I know deep down that he will probably be fine, but I'm neurotic sometimes, so deal!

[SengaKitty]

It's okay to be neurotic at times like this! It's okay for you to be worried, and however you worry is fine. Screw the doctor's you're just fine. If you need someone to talk to, we're all here hon! s to both you and Mr. Mis.

[malmalthekiller]

I'm completely neurotic, to the point where I drive everyone crazy.

[One-Fang]

Surgery is scary. It doesn't matter what it's for. The very surgical process is life-threatening. You'd be crazy NOT to be scared.

That wasn't very reassuring, was it?

Fear is normal. Embrace it, acknowledge it. However, put it on a shelf. Not away, just ... over there. Get through it. Hug each other.

[persephone]

We'll be thinking about you. Keep us posted and know I'm sending you and the kids lots of virtual hugs

[AccountingDrone]

Good luck ... I just had to postpone my operation because I popped a BP of 191/110 and I probably would have died on the table ... so i didnt mind a postponement =)

Worry if you need to, and props to you for not showing your husband *how* worried you actually are because he doesn't need to see worry! Worry is perfectly natural!

*But* keep in mind that as it is not roll the gurney into the ER emergency surgery, the surgical team is doing everything they can to keep him alive post-op ... and if it looks like it would be too dangerous to operate at that time, they will postpone it until it can be made safer ...

And as always, you can vent here and get offers of hugs and cookies

[DGoddessChardonnay]

We all handle fear differently - some of us show it on the outside, others don't.

Screw what the doctors say . . . you're not unselfish or uncaring in the least. You're handling it as best you can.

Any surgery is scary . . . I was terrified inside when my Mom had to have back surgery 10 years ago.

But she got through it fine . . . and Mr. Mis will too.

We're all rooting for you, Hon. And don't forget we're always around to give an ear or a hug or a shoulder when you feel the need.

We love ya, girl. It's going to be okay.

[Misanthropical]

Mr. Mis knows I'm neurotic (we have been married for 18 years, so he has seen it) and knows how I handle fear and being scared for our children and him, so he knows that even though I look calm and unfazed that I'm pretty much freaking out.

He is trying to remain calm in front of the children, but he is a bit scared too. He has a fear of hospitals in general. His surgery is June 1st and hopefully that will take care of the problem.

You guys are sweet and Mr Mis and I appreciate the good will and support from you all.

[Rapscallion]

Keep us updated?

Rapscallion

[Jester]

Things will turn out just fine. After all, I said so, didn't I?

[Misanthropical]

Update: My husband was hospitalized after the surgery so the doctors could keep an eye on him, something about bleeding. My husband wasn't happy because he thought he was coming home after the procedure.

Yesterday, I thought he was coming home, but the doctors found blood clots in his legs, so they kept him an extra night so they could put something in his blood supply to keep the clots from moving up and causing serious damage or even death.

My husband wasn't happy because he didn't want another procedure and wanted to go home. I told him he was getting the procedure done if I had to sit on him so the doctors could do it. I explained that I was too young to be a widow and his children needed him, so he was getting it done. He decided getting it done was easier than facing his wife's wrath.

He finally got to come today, which is good, because I was really starting to miss him being here, as were the children, besides I was sick of the horrible hospital coffee.

So, to all of you that told me it would be alright, you were right. He is doing much better now.

[sms001]

Great news and thank you for the timely update. Dare I ask if he's a "good" convalescent?

[Misanthropical]

He is doing well with it, sms001.

[Ree]

I'm glad everything went well and he's back home, on the mend.

[Boozy]

Now take a deep breath and relax. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too.