Must... Vent... or will be... convicted of... homocide.

[Shards]

-twitch-

OK, some of you may remember Ma from one of my threads when my engagement was falling apart. Jester and Blas specifically put some good advice into that thread.

Well, as I said during that thread, she was seeing a guy, we'll call him Pretty Boy, at the time. They were together nine months, most of which I was around, and talking to her, as friends, but over the last few months, we'd both been busy and hadn't seen each other much.

Well, I found out on Thursday that they had broken up, and I called to see if Ma was OK. She wanted to have a night out, so I took her to a movie (strictly platonic, although she knows I'm interested, because I don't want to be the rebound guy and she doesn't want to date until she's over him).

I found out that she has reason to suspect he cheated on her with one of her friends, that he never made her feel appreciated and she literally felt prettier getting catcalled at on Karaoke night than he ever made her feel, and that he had tried to pin the breakup on her. This shithead had the stones to tell her to her face that she had changed and he didn't like the new her (bullshit, she hasn't changed a damn bit). I've been hanging around, trying to help pick up the pieces, she's still confused, angry, all the things that come with a bad breakup, and then I found out this morning that he sent her a text asking how she's doing and when she asked if he was over her, he said yes... They broke up three days ago, after dating for nine months. I seriously want to sever this guy's spinal column. The only things stopping me are that I know that isn't what Ma wants, and that I have no clue where he lives.

-twitch-
Sorry, just needed to get that out.

[the_std]

I dunno, man... On the scale of bad break-ups, I don't think this one is worth going to jail for. It sounds like young adult asshole-ness and I'm amazed that she'd never encountered it before. The dude is a douchebag, she's now recognized him as such, leave it and move on. His punishment will be a life full of herpetic sores and popped collars, while you guys will go on to be happy and awesome people.

[Shards]

You're right that as bad breakups go, this one wasn't terrible. I'll fully admit to being a bit more aggravated than I should be right now, but I still just needed to vent about it. I can overreact when things like this happen to people I care about, and she's one of my best friends, as her brother is as well, so... Yeah...

ETA: Also the problem was that she trusted him. He started out a nice guy and then turned into that while they were dating. Her other ex was an asshole from the start, so she saw it coming and was ready.

[Jester]

Shards, the dude was a douchebag to her, but other than being a bad boyfriend, he really didn't do anything that bad. He didn't hit her, he was just a really bad, neglectful, lameass boyfriend. So let it go. Don't get me wrong, I understand you being mad at him, but there is no reason for you to actually do anything TO him. I mean, as much as I threaten my nieces' boyfriends (and I DO), I would never do anything to any of them just for dumping one of the nieces or for being a bad boyfriend. If they did something STUPID (hit her, abuse her verbally, get her pregnant, etc.), then there would be something that would put the crime lab boys to work. But for being a schmuck? Eh......not worth it.

And frankly, she should let it go, too. Stop texting the guy, reading texts from him, talking to him on the phone, calling him, accepting calls, etc. Fuck. Him! Move the fuck on. It won't be easy, and she should certainly cry her tears over the breakup and over him, but once that is out of her system, she needs to pick herself up, put on the big girl panties, and (not to belabor the point) move the fuck on. Get on with her life.

[the_std]

Oh, I don't begrudge you the venting. Not one bit. Just don't get too worked up, cause nothing will come of it.

[Shards]

True to both of you. All I really came here for was to vent. I mean, I wouldn't actually do what I claimed I wanted to to the guy, even given the chance, because the fuckwit isn't worth the effort it would take to do such damage to him, but I just wanted to vent for a bit.

[blas]

Vent and vent away, but I wouldn't do anything to him either.

It's so much more rewarding when karma does it for you.

[BethB]

that was harsh by breakup standards. Something similar happened to my mom only she was dating the guy for 10 yrs, were engaged, then out of the blue he basically kicked my mom and little sis to the curb and told her she was just a screw and he needed a proper wife. Massive a**hole. he always was. but karma will rear her lovely head. He did indeed marry the other woman he cheated on my mom with, was miserable in this marriage and ended up divorced after a few years. My mom, on the other hand, did go thru a brief depression but she met an awesome guy, got married, and is happy still after almost 7 yrs. They are great together and I like my new stepfather more than I ever liked her ex.
Just give it time. She'll be upset over the crap he pulled but in the end, that guy will just be alone and miserable and she won't even give him a second thought.

[Slytovhand]

ditto the venting.

But, one question... are you really angry towards him, or towards her for going straight back into it again? Sure, it's easy to be pissed at him the way he's treated her... but he's done it before, and is doing it again... isn't there a pattern developing? And she's the one needing the cluex4?