Gaming Stories

[Nurian]

One in my gaming group told me about a Paladin with Cleave:

Friend: "Well, this Paladin Power Attacked and rolled a 1. The DM said the swing hit the horse. Not only that, there was enough damage to kill the horse. The Paladin thought for a second, yelled 'Cleave!' and attacked his target again. It worked."

[gremcint]

One in my gaming group told me about a Paladin with Cleave:

Friend: "Well, this Paladin Power Attacked and rolled a 1. The DM said the swing hit the horse. Not only that, there was enough damage to kill the horse. The Paladin thought for a second, yelled 'Cleave!' and attacked his target again. It worked."

I had a character with cleave and missed and hit one of my teammates.
Before rolling damage I asked the dm: If I kill [Teammate] can I cleave to [enemy].

Teammate was not happy with me.


In another game a friend critically missed and hit his teammate only the hit on the teammate turned out to be a critical hit.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Once one of my mates threw the dice accross the room cuz, and I quote, "These fucking dice are trying to kill me!" XD Game on hiatus while we all scoured the room looking for the dice. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find little dice, even in a fairly small room. O.o No, we did not have a spare set. -.- You don't think of having a spare set until one of your mates throws the dice away in a fit of pique cuz he keeps rolling ones.

[Dreamstalker]

That's why we got some Huge-Ass Dice. Where a threat of throwing the regular dice at somebody never worked, the "CLUNK" these made hitting the table meant that such a threat never failed (also, easily findable if they did get thrown).

[Setsunaela]

Way back when I was first starting to play D&D (I basically grew up watching people play, and longing to finally play for myself), I had been playing in one-on-ones with my dad R, learning the rules and basics and getting used to roleplaying, and he'd been doing the same with my cousin M. This was M and myself's first night playing "with the big boys", our other, older cousins. We started without M because he was in a time-out for misbehaving, and it would have been fairly easy to bring him in, as we had been teleported to the cave we were exploring by the local mage. Note that I was about 9 and M was 8 [/backstory]
So, we get to the entrance area where we are teleported, and we are immediately battling a few small goblins. Behind us is a dead end, and we are basically in a small resting room for the goblin troops. My cousins scouted ahead, leaving me behind to "wait for the new guy and watch their backs"

So I'm sitting in this room, watching vigilantly, sword in hand, when there's a shimmering light, and a big guy with a big axe walks through the light into the room. (this would be my cousin's barbarian character) I hold my sword threateningly and ask him to state his name and business, because I'm not just going to assume that this is the guy on our side.
He gets all offended and holds his weapon threateningly, and says "none of your business, get out of my way, girl. You probably can't even swing that thing!" and attempts to move past me. I get in the way and say "No, state your name and business, I don't want to have to hurt you"
So he swings his axe at me, and misses. I swing my sword, because he swung at me, and I roll a 20. critical hit. Per R's house ruled 2nd ed , I roll another 20 sided die, and roll another 20, which basically means instant removal of an appendage/instant heavy damage, depending on what I roll on a d6. 1 is chest, 2 and 3 are left and right arms, 4 and 5 are left and right legs, and 6 is head. I roll, and get a 6. So basically, because his character swung and missed at me, because he was being all manly against the little woman with a 'useless' sword, I chopped his head off in one swing.

[Nurian]

One of my first games, I played a NE Werewolf Druid. My party and I were lvl 17 and were fighting a lvl 20 Dwarf Paladin. We were rolling terribly and getting smacked hard. I was running out of spells, ready to transform again, when I noticed I had Baleful Polymorph memorized. I hadn't tried this before as Paladins have very good will and fortitude saves. But I didn't have anything else.

ME: I'm going to cast Baleful Polymorph on him.
DM: (chuckling) Okay, what are you going to try to turn him into?
ME: A carp. Why not?
DM: (still chuckling) Okay, here's his fort- it's a 1.
(The whole table erupts in cheers)

He made his Will. Basically, he was a lvl 20 Carp Paladin.

[Geek King]

Anyone have a good gaming story?

Seriously? You asked that? Where do I start?

At the Origins convention one year I got into a game made by the same group that did Deadlands. I think it was called Wierd War II, and involved soldiers fighting Nazi vampires, werewolves, and the like. There were pre-gen characters for this game, and I got the unit's scout, a fiesty Cajun from the bayou. Now, I sometimes really get into my characters, and started doing a full-on bastardized cajun speech and accent for mine. I was reporting to the sargent what I had seen, "Mais sah, der be one terbull mad loupe-garou whompun on zum german po' boys in de cahbin o'er der. I tink I's radder go 'bout den rile he fuzz, bon mi."

I knew I had the right of it when the poor fellow playing the Sarge looked around the table a little wild-eyed and said, "What the hell did he just say?!?" The whole table cracked up at that.

[pssorens]

Probably my best gaming stories have to do with when the party does something that the GM wasn't expecting. Last year, at valleycon 34. i was playing Skull and Crossbones with a group of friends that have played together for over 15 years. The Gm's pregens were pretty low level, so my Hougan had a very limited spell selection. However, in a black powder dominated world one spell stood out. Create Water. I cast it at a cannon ready to fire grape shot at us causing the powder to foul. the Gm picked up the PHB looked at the spell description, was speechless for a moment. then said "I never thought of using that spell like that". not much I know, but when the Gm in question is the best i know, having won best judge at the D+D open at gencon. It felt pretty good.

[Dreamstalker]

Probably my best gaming stories have to do with when the party does something that the GM wasn't expecting.

My group would rotate the GM duties and typically every session would be at least one thing that was never planned for. I think on one occasion when I wasn't GM'ing, we managed to totally derail the story in only three scenes...it was so subtle that the GM didn't notice until it was too late.

[AccountingDrone]

hm, in our regular game way back in the day mrAccountingDrone had a dwarf who had at some point in time picked up a medusa and was trying to take her somewhere. Every now and then he would accidentlly get turned into a statue so the halfling in the party used to set him up in a room at a tavern ahd sell looks to the locals of the 'really accurate dwarf statue'

Another time, one of the guys we knew was writing a microarmor based game called Warbots and Death Machines. I have never been into micro armor, or even the japanese anime that a lot of it is based upon. We test played it at Psycon in 87 [i think, might have been 88] and my husbands side lost. I told the opposing force they had gotten lucky and even girly little me could beat them. We scheduled a rematch when one guy was due back for his next leave period, and another guy was getting back from his deployment. We reshuffle the players, making me leader of one force, and Chris leader of the other force as it was sort of a grudge match between he and i. I got my husband, and another friend so we have a girly, a navy enlisted and an army enlisted. Chris Al and the third guy they brought in were all officers - one teaching tactics at the war college that was near the NOB gate, one army tactician and one navy intelligence officer.

Premise of the game is 2 hammers slammers type mercenary forces there trying to beat the other one to a crashed ship in between the 2 starting areas.

Predictably, the opfor decided to get all stompy with these big mechanical roboty 1 pilot to a vehicle mechbot things. I sunk my funds into small fast armored personnel carriers, jump suited scout troops [think the troops in Starship trooper] and stalins organs loaded with very nice surface to surface missiles.

The opfor starts stomping over towards me, I send out my scouts as spotters and drop missiles onto their staging camps destroyign their repair and resupply logistics, and then start taking them out one by one.

So much for macho stomping around in huge mechanoids ... sneeky guerilla warfare on the cheap for the win. For every mech I had something like 1 APC of scout troops, and 10 stalins organs, and at least 20 reloads for the organ.

I don't know nothing about mechs, but I do understand guerilla tactics. Destroy the logistics and the nice expensive machinery doesnt stand a chance, and you can take them out at your convenience. If they cant find you because you are hopping around like fleas on a griddle, you stay alive and can call in artillery strikes =)

[KabeRinnaul]

Oh wow I should have some for this... Most will be short, but gaming is my thing.

One time we were running Forge of Fury and our Wizard killed the Ogre boss with a Ray of Frost (a newbie spell that only does 3 damage). In that same game, the rogue and cleric very nearly managed to sneak their way through the entire fortress without being seen, only stopping and turning back because the other players were getting tired of waiting...

Then I used to be in a horrible Shadowrun game with four hardcore /b/tards (if you know what that means, you'll understand; if not, you don't want to know) and a flamboyant, over-energetic gay guy. There were sessions interrupted by (and all of these refer to out-of-character player actions) the troll watching porn on his laptop, the decker joining the troll in watching porn, the decker threatening the mage with a knife, the rigger tackling the adept out of his chair and dry-humping him...


And then there were the things they did in-game. Have some quotes.

Adept: (IC on phone) Goliath, what the f*** you doin to my house now?!
Troll: (IC on phone, has no idea what's going on) What- why you think I'm doing something?!
Adept: (IC on phone) You destroyed it the last time!
Troll: (OOC) I hang up at this point...

Rigger: Fire doesn't really hurt if you're fast.
Adept: Yes it does!

GM: You many enemies do you think Petrio has?
Adept: Uh... the entire city of Chicago...

Rigger: That was back when my character was rooming with Petrio...
Adept: Dude, you weren't rooming with me! You broke into my house and wouldn't leave!

Adept: That was the most hardcore thing ever. Hardcore like punching a dragon in the fire gland so that it's head explodes.

But then they played D&D too. Have some quotes.

Dwarf Fighter (DF, Adept from before): "We've got a midget... a crazy dude... a ... another midget..."
Aasimar Ranger (AR, Rigger from before): "Wait, so I'm the crazy dude?"

AR: "All I wanted was three meals a day, but no. We don't stop. We're ridin' spinnas, we don't stop."

DF: "Anyway. We're going to Dwarfland to fight the orcs."
Kobold Sorcerer (KS, not in other quotes): "Heheh. Dwarf Land."
DF: "NO. Not 'Dwarf-LAND'. Dwarfland."

AR: "So we've missed the orcs, it seems..."
DF: "We can't have missed all of them."
KS: "Well, if somebody didn't get us to stop and eat..."
Human Swashbuckler (HS, Decker from before): "Uh, you never know. Maybe they all left. Makes about as much sense as anything else this guy says."
(Long pause)
HS: "He also glows."
AR: "I don't glow."

DF: "Orcs don't go to the bathroom in groups that small."

AR: "I am a celestial. I think that orcs, being a chaotic evil race, are dumb. So they're going to send their entire militia out."

DF: "It takes more than six orcs to do anything signifigant."

DF: "That'll be a thin-ass passageway to get through."
AR: "Don't worry, we'll just make a phalanx!"
DF: "I'm the only one with a shield."

HS: "I'm telling you guys. This guy f***ing glows."
DF: "He doesn't glow."
HS: "This is a horrible plan."
AR: "I don't glow!"
KS: "I can fix that."
DF: "You can make him glow?"
HS: "Yeah."
AR: "I'm going to cast continual flame on my entire body, as soon as we get back to town."

AR: "Really, you guys are just like 'Okay, we know the ranger's gonna f*** up, so let's just buff and wait for him to scream.' Cause really, you guys can't do anything because you don't know I've encountered anyhting yet, right?"
DM: "Spot checks. Who notices the orcs raise their axes?"

AR: "They're too distracted with me."
DM: "They see the shiny guy right in front of them."
AR: "I'm not shiny!"
HS: "Yes they are! I'm telling you, they... you're shiny."
DF: "Aasimar are shiny?"
HS: "Yes!"
AR: "Gimme the f***ing Monster Manual."
DM: "I think more like glittery than glowy."
HS: "I don't mean you glow like a torch."
DF: "You mean like he throws his hair and he sparkles and s***?"
AR: "Yeah. It's kinda like every anime cutscene ever. With like a really hot girl. Ooh, Sailor Moon..."

AR: "It's not really a color or a light... it's more of a beauty thing."
DM: "You're sparkly."
AR: "Yeah."
DM: "You've got a little bishounen sparkly thing and all."
AR: "Yeah like I have this flashing like blue and like..."
DF: "The background changes to an action swirl..."
AR: "I'm swirling around and my clothes are bring torn off by pink strands of cloth for some reason, and... Oh god..."

DM: "So, you two see this little beam of light shoot right over your shoulders, hit the orc, and it dies."
AR: "I am as great as I think I am!"
DF: "You didn't do s***, laddie."
AR: "Oh. I didn't, did I... Oh lord..."
DF: "Yer just standin' there, boy!"

DM: "Up here, you see they start pushing the door closed."
DF: "Oh no the f*** they don't."

HS: "Well, I personally want to give the celestial as much moral delimmas as possible."
AR: "Why?"
HS: "Because... you glow."
AR: "...is that really it?"
HS: "Basically."

HS: "If someone else were playing an aasimir-"
AR: "Mar!"
DF: "Mar."
AR: "MAR! M-A-R!"
HS: "It doesn't matter."
DF: "And it's not 'doos', it's 'day-us'."
AR: "It's not 'cleeric', it's 'claric'."
HS: "It doesn't matter. I know what I mean, and I'm the only person who really matters."

...and any longer stories have to wait until I'm less tired. Then I can do more than copy-paste my old RP records.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

The worst thing I ever heard during a game...

"I utter a small prayer of forgiveness to my god, then I mount my horse!"

[ArcticChicken]

By the way, this DM would generally make up his own quests; they'd be based on games or books in some ways, but wouldn't follow an already set story. Probably cuz he knew we'd rebel. XD

Bu, breaking the canned adventure is the fun part!

I can't remember which module it was that we went through backwards. We had an elf? is it elves that get an automatic spot check for hidden doors? whatever. We had one of those, he made his spot check, and the wizard had shatter rock. That was fun, until we got ganked by an entire dungeon full of ogres, 'cause we triggered the boss early and he alerted them.

"Millennium Hand and... Shrimp?"

Did you force feed him a Pratchett novel after wards?

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find little dice, even in a fairly small room. O.o

Yes I would.

No, we did not have a spare set. -.- You don't think of having a spare set until one of your mates throws the dice away in a fit of pique cuz he keeps rolling ones.

....I have 5 d20's, 2 d12's, 3 d10's, 3 d8's, 8 d6's, and 2 d4's. Not because I've lost them across a room. I also have fewer dice then all but one of the people I game with regularly. I've been thinking about buying an assorted pound of dice off the internet because my dice are lonely.



The long running 4e game we were playing pretty much came to an end recently when the party came to the point, through no GM manipulation, of tearing itself apart. I sold my soul to a demon for knowledge and power and then tried to kill everyone, it was awesome. (BTW, the other players were totally fine with the direction my character wound up taking, I love my group) We might go back to that game later, 'cause there are a couple of really excellent story lines we haven't played out yet, but the GM was tired of running 4e after a year straight.

Instead he's running a Saga game in Star Wars Infinities where Han never saved Chewie. Our characters are Jedi, or soldiers working closely with Jedi, in the rebellion. We're part of the first class Luke recruited and trained. My character is a human from Tatooine a few years younger than Luke. Entirely on a whim I decided my character had a massive teenage crush on him, and I'm really looking forward to making that a part of the story.

[Barracuda]

Gaming fans MUST see this: (btw, this is only part 1 there are more parts on You tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiTEHqAeanw

My gaming story involves defeating an attempt by the GM to kill the party without breaking a sweat. We're currently playing a Lord of the Rings universe game and we had just started our first mission and made camp for the night in a ruined tower. We hear noises outside and go look and find ourselves noticing several trolls lumbering past (For those who don't know, trolls are big, nasty and hard to kill.) This was very early in the game, and I think the GM intended this to be one big nasy fight. However, being a halfling cleric, I came up with an evil idea. Remembering that this was the Tolkien universe, and having read The Hobbit recently, I noticed that one of my 0 level spells was Daylight. I cast it on a stone and chucked it directly at the trolls. It landed....and they turned to stone (since that's how it works in the Tolkien universe. Don't try this in a regular game!) So, I ended up killing 3 trolls with a level 0 spell without actually doing any fighting. My GM was a little pissed.

[Nurian]

Gaming fans MUST see this: (btw, this is only part 1 there are more parts on You tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiTEHqAeanw

My gaming story involves defeating an attempt by the GM to kill the party without breaking a sweat. We're currently playing a Lord of the Rings universe game and we had just started our first mission and made camp for the night in a ruined tower. We hear noises outside and go look and find ourselves noticing several trolls lumbering past (For those who don't know, trolls are big, nasty and hard to kill.) This was very early in the game, and I think the GM intended this to be one big nasy fight. However, being a halfling cleric, I came up with an evil idea. Remembering that this was the Tolkien universe, and having read The Hobbit recently, I noticed that one of my 0 level spells was Daylight. I cast it on a stone and chucked it directly at the trolls. It landed....and they turned to stone (since that's how it works in the Tolkien universe. Don't try this in a regular game!) So, I ended up killing 3 trolls with a level 0 spell without actually doing any fighting. My GM was a little pissed.

So you got 3 trolls with one stone? Nice
I saw Gamers 2 a few years ago at Origins. That was much funnier than the first, believe it or not