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  • #31
    I joined a game midway through because I was late. There were in the middle of a battle with a group of people including a giant (15 feet tall approx).

    My character is a telekinetic who can lift 8 tons. The Giant was giving some of my allies a little trouble.

    Me: How heavy does the giant look?

    DM: I dunno a couple tons, why?

    Me: I pick him up with my telekinesis.

    DM: you what?

    Me: I pick him up and therefore remove him from combat.

    I then proceeded to drop him as a weapon on the enemies over and over again.

    I then convinced another enemy to surrender by threatening to drop the giant Ass first.



    Another story, our group had come across a toxic waste dump, and we made a couple references to Erin Brockovich and lawsuits. Then I said this:

    Me (in childlike voice): Mommy why is the water purple?
    Me (different voice): Go for a swim deary, we'll be well taken care of.

    On my friend's face (dm) was the funniest cross between horrified and trying not to laugh.
    Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
    Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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    • #32
      Okay, longer stories.

      This Shadowrun story comes from Team 4chan mentioned before. They'd been hired by their Fixer (guy with connections, basically) to hijack a cargo of weapons he'd just sold to someone, because he was a greedy jerk and felt like selling it twice. The weapons were being shipped on a maglev bullet train - the cargo and it's dozen or so guards took up the last two cars. The other 8 or so were passenger cars. They headed down to a place where the track was in the absolute middle of nowhere, and started looking for a place to set up an ambush. Team 4chan decided that the train would be going to fast to jump aboard, and started discussing other plans. That's when the Mercenary suggested we just blow the tracks, and everyone but the Shaman agreed.

      The Shaman was told to shut his mouth and the team proceeded to place C4 along the track. It was then decided they'd have to time this perfectly, and would have to know exactly where the train was. For some reason, most of the group was upset with the Adept at this point. He also had failed to attend this game. So after we broke for the night, the Decker and Rigger talked to him at school the next day, and when asked if he'd be willing to "board a train and call us when it reached a certain landmark" he agreed. He was given no other information.

      So they derailed the train, killing everyone aboard except for a random 6-year-old boy, who, after the GM rolled for everyone aboard, had one critical success after another. The Decker grabbed the kid and sold him into slavery. They collected all the weapons, then decided they didn't like the Fixer, either. So they jumped his men who'd come to pick up the weapons, drove back to the meeting place, and jumped him too. At that point they'd collected millions of dollars in weapons, as well as their pay and all the Fixer's cash on-hand.

      That's when they decided to found their own personal army, and I abandoned Team 4chan on the grounds that they were disturbingly amoral and all-around jerks.
      » Horse Words «·» Roleplaying Stuff «

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      • #33
        Oh yeah, Gamers 2 is awesome. "Aaand, goblins...." ; "Party wipeout?" "Like...you...wouldn't...believe." (See Gamers 1 and that quote makes a lot more sense.)

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        • #34
          Quoth gremcint View Post
          My character is a telekinetic who can lift 8 tons.
          I love telekinesis... One of my favorite character concepts was a telekinetic who hid the true nature of his power by carrying only a packing gun...



          It's a shame that game never got off the ground...

          And, yes, I did take the idea from a comic. There was a character in Marvel's New Universe (their mid-80's 'other' universe) that had the power to control all metals... but when he discovered his power, the only metal thing within range was a hubcap, so this guy just thought he had a magic hubcab.
          "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

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          • #35
            another gaming moment that always makes us laugh when ever we get back together, are the times we had to use the "Chunky Salsa Effect" rules for Shadowrun.
            They say crime doesn't pay. That must mean what I'm doing at work is illegal.

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            • #36
              As I said, the Gaming Club at my current university wouldn't let me join so my gaming experience is limited. They didn't want to teach me D&D, and we could only play other games I liked if I would GM. Which i don't have the experience. I'm only just now learning how to play D&D thanks to Chanlin. Thanks Dude.

              Anyway, I do have some Magic The Gather Stories. But I'm not sure if that's the kind of "gaming" that counts in this thread. So Can I?
              Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

              Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
              Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

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              • #37
                Why not? Gaming is gaming. Feel the love!
                I have a...thing. Wanna see it?

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                • #38
                  Awesome.

                  So my deck is Black and Red. We call it Burning Death. So I'm playing with a group, and everyone starts to focus on me. I look around to see they all have like 15 land cards out, and they aren't tapping most of them. So I look in my hand and just smile at them.

                  Me- Listen, If you guys keep ganging up on me. I won't last much longer.
                  Player 1= That's the point.
                  Player 2= Yeah we're trying to get you out early.
                  Me= If I'm going down, you are all coming with me.
                  Player Three= Yeah right.

                  So I have think I have 5 life points left and 8 land. So I tap three, Play Citadel of Pain and scream, "KAMIKAZE! Now we're all dead."

                  Player three then explains I had 6LP prior to my attack, leaving me with one LP left. I won! :P

                  Class time now. MORE LATER
                  Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                  Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                  Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

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                  • #39
                    Weeeeeee

                    My ex husband was playing a character instead of being the DM for once. His character got into a drinking contest with a couple of the others, and had to be carried out by the single sober member of the party. While over said member's shoulder, he promptly asks in a perfect drunken voice "Wait, wait, wait. I need to go wee."
                    Sober character: "Ok, let me put you down." Proceeds to put him down.
                    Drunken character: "Can I go wee now?"
                    Sober character: "Yes."
                    At which point the drunken character proceeds to twirl around in a circle, yell "Weeeeeeeeeeee!" and giggle.

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                    • #40
                      Here's a recent one from my own experiences.

                      Currently GMing an Alpha-Omega campaign with some friends, all of whom are nearly as twisted, game-wise, as I am.

                      Anyhow, i decided to be nice and toss the party a bone with a 'quest' where the reward was A: A big pile of Money (20,000 T, split four ways = New weapons and ammo galore) and B: the chance to hunt down a persistent antagonist that had a penchant for doing bad things to the party, like screwing them out of their hard-earned money etc.

                      Naturally, mission goes Tits in an Upwardly-facing direction. (Mission was to get a suitcase from a security firm in a walled city that had gone 'Dark' except for its distress beacons. 'Dark' in this case means about 90% of the population were exposed to a virus that tinkered with their brainy parts so they're much like Zombies, only without the 'eat brains' part.) Party is trapped in a particularly tall building, which has no power, and the party is trapped in the stairwell.

                      Over 100 Floors of climbing while being chased by hordes of insane degenerates while the party's employer is using a rented transport VTOL to hover around the Roof and offer pithy comments about the Party's speed (or lack thereof. Mostly lack thereof.)

                      Party gets to the roof, Still being chased by the horde of nutbars, and has to run for nearly 500 metres to get to the Transport, which was still constantly moving. Needless to say, I was very descriptive when pointing out that the roof was ~packed~ with more throngs of crazies attacking anything that moved, and/or was not crazy.

                      Ever see a Scooby-Doo-esque chase sequence to the tune of Benny Hill? Imagine that, only the instruments for the music are a variety of guns. The party actually managed to get away, they missed their chance to get revenge (as their antagonist had skipped town some time before), and after ending the session for the night I had Four guys, all grown adults, hounding me for more as soon as possible, because it was the most fun (and most stressful fun) they've had in an RPG in years.

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                      • #41
                        I don't play dice games but here is a story of a similar vein from Fallout 2:

                        In order to get to an oil platform and defeat the Enclave (high-tech badguys) I had to convince an NPC to pilot an old oil tanker from SanFran. To convince him, I had to rescue his GF from the hold of the ship which had a lot of big monsters. Besides me there were three others in my party: Sulik a "tribal", a technician (I forget his name) and Marvin, a supermutant. I had earlier completed a quest where I obtained some nice weaponry from an abandoned military base. One weapon was a rocket launcher (bazooka only bigger) and I gave that to Marvin. We start to fight the monsters.

                        There is a pause.

                        Marvin shoulders the launcher....

                        AND BLOWS A MONSTER ACROSS THE ROOM!!!

                        One of the "effects" in the game is you knew how hard a weapon had hit an opponent by how far they "skidded" across the room (inertia.) This monster was blown to the back bulkhead, halfway across the room from where it was.
                        Testing
                        "I saw a flock of moosen! There were many of 'em. Many much moosen. Out in the woods- in the woodes- in the woodsen. The meese want the food. The food is to eatenesen."

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                        • #42
                          Quoth ArcticChicken View Post
                          Bu, breaking the canned adventure is the fun part!
                          Hell yes. That's why my group had at best very loose outlines (one girl used to write campaigns scene-by-scene on index cards in pencil so things could be shuffled around on the fly). The only bad thing about my gang was that by the time someone thought to write up the campaign the notes got lost
                          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                          • #43
                            A quick Car Wars story...

                            In a gaming club I belonged to, we went through about a year binge of playing Car Wars. For the uninitiated, it's essentially a combat game with armed and armored vehicles.

                            One day, we planned an epic battle--eight cars on an interconnected cloverleaf. Everyone starts in the middle, cars running and not moving. Everyone starts in a different direction. The winner is the first person to navigate all four cloverleafs or the last person standing, as the case may be.

                            To start, we were each given a giant pile of money and about an hour to build our cars. Everyone sweated this, because the right weapon or the right amount of armor could be the difference between winning and losing. As for me, my car was designed in 3 minutes.

                            Time to start the battle, which was estimated to take 2-3 hours. The GM says, "Okay, races starts in 3...2..."

                            And I hit the ejection seat on my car. My car was, essentially, a giant bomb. Weak suspension, crap tires, a base motor, fake weapons, an ejection seat, and about 1 ton of C4.

                            "...1..."

                            BOOM.

                            End result--seven charred vehicles, seven corpses, one winner.

                            They then played the full battle with seven cars, and without me.
                            Enjoy my latest stupid quest for immortality. http://1001plus.blogspot.com/

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                            • #44
                              Quoth LingualMonkey View Post
                              A quick Car Wars story...

                              In a gaming club I belonged to, we went through about a year binge of playing Car Wars. For the uninitiated, it's essentially a combat game with armed and armored vehicles.

                              One day, we planned an epic battle--eight cars on an interconnected cloverleaf. Everyone starts in the middle, cars running and not moving. Everyone starts in a different direction. The winner is the first person to navigate all four cloverleafs or the last person standing, as the case may be.

                              To start, we were each given a giant pile of money and about an hour to build our cars. Everyone sweated this, because the right weapon or the right amount of armor could be the difference between winning and losing. As for me, my car was designed in 3 minutes.

                              Time to start the battle, which was estimated to take 2-3 hours. The GM says, "Okay, races starts in 3...2..."

                              And I hit the ejection seat on my car. My car was, essentially, a giant bomb. Weak suspension, crap tires, a base motor, fake weapons, an ejection seat, and about 1 ton of C4.

                              "...1..."

                              BOOM.

                              End result--seven charred vehicles, seven corpses, one winner.

                              They then played the full battle with seven cars, and without me.
                              That was funny and evil at the same time. I salute you.
                              I have a...thing. Wanna see it?

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                              • #45
                                Anyone here ever been a DM? If so... why can't we loot the peasants? XD Why do you insist on sending us thru boringness and why can't it always be fighting? Also, why do some DMs feel that they have to make us sit there growing cobwebs while they talk on and on?
                                People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                                My DeviantArt.

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