The truths that tourists never believe.

[edible_hat]

the Irish and the Germans are to beer what French are to red wine

Inferior, overpriced and they whinge about it when other countries use industry terms derived from their language?

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh a few to add since I'm seeing more tourists now.

Yes, we do know that the church office building looks a little bit like an erect penis, no, I'm pretty sure they didn't intend it to look that way, yes I noticed that too when I first moved here, thought it was only mildly amusing then and hearing people like you mention it every week is starting to get old.

The street layout makes perfect sense, it is one of the most straight forward street systems I've ever seen, now stop whining that it's so confusing that we use numbers rather than names (and even when we use names we use numbers... the street I live on is a 'named' street, I can still tell you the grid coordinates for it though).

Yes, you did see a Polynesian (spelling?) man on the Fox news team... we have quite a few Polynesians living in Salt Lake, if memory serves the only minority group with more numbers in Salt Lake is hispanics (I could be way off, I'll have to double check the census data and edit if necassary).

[RootedPhoenix]

The street layout makes perfect sense, it is one of the most straight forward street systems I've ever seen, now stop whining that it's so confusing that we use numbers rather than names (and even when we use names we use numbers... the street I live on is a 'named' street, I can still tell you the grid coordinates for it though).

This. A million times over. The chick from information tried to tell my cousin that the business we were looking for was on "North East Temple".

.... There IS NO SUCH THING. AUGH. We got there, but not without a lot of , and among all present.

Google Earth has this same confusion. Probably why information's all messed up.

[AdminAssistant]

Ah, speaking of streets.

Yes, many of the streets here are named after states. The two main city planners were from Massachusetts and Iowa, so they named the main streets after their home states. Then a pattern developed. No, I am not going to drive your butt around town trying to find your 'state' street. And yes, I know where mine is. And no, to my knowledge, there is not a Kansas Street.

In Kansas City:
Yes, the roads make perfect sense. And yes, there are many places that you can't turn left from 7-9 am and 4-6 pm. It's because this is a big city with an old infrastructure and we're not going to hold up traffic just because some 'burbian from JoCo can't be bothered to find a different route.

And this is a pet peeve, and I know I've said it here before. Kansas City, MO is a city. It is surrounded by other cities, known as suburbs. Those other cities are NOT Kansas City. It just drives me crazy to here folks from my town say, "Oh, I'm going to Kansas City tomorrow." "Really, where?" "Olathe" Um, no. Then you're going to Olathe. sheesh Yes, there is a Kansas City, KS, but you won't catch me in it after dark.

[TOLady]

Stuck? No. I have had American beers of all kinds of alcohol content. Yes, the BudMillerCoors beers tend to be 3.8-5.0%, but those are designed for the masses. I have had 9.0% and up beers, made right here in the good ole U.S. of A., thank you very much.

I've not had much experience with your fine ales, as yet, but I'm hoping to surprise DH with a trip to the Pirates in Paradise Festival later this year and tend to do my research well in advance. Must try and find some available here as to acclimatize myself . Although I'm usually a tequila tippler as a rule.

[smileyeagle1021]

This. A million times over. The chick from information tried to tell my cousin that the business we were looking for was on "North East Temple".

.... There IS NO SUCH THING. AUGH. We got there, but not without a lot of , and among all present.

Google Earth has this same confusion. Probably why information's all messed up.

UGH
there is an east north temple, but there is no such thing as an east tmple.
I get the same thing at work "so you are on northwest temple... no, we are on west north temple... I said it that way not because I'm stupid... kthnxbye.

And actually maps.google.com is the best for Utah's street system. That program scares me... it actually knows that where I work's entrance isn't on the street that our address is on... how is that for impressive.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Again, due to an increased number of tourons; I know that England is a titchy country compared to yours, whether you be French, German or American. However, I do not know every single corner of it and if I happen to be in London, I can NOT direct you anywhere, dammit!

However, if you persist in asking me for directions, I will delight in making sure you get completely lost by giving you a set of random, pointless directions in order to ensure that you leave me alone.

[McGoddess09]

Non-Chicago Illinois

* No, we're not all hicks, we're not all NRA members, and we don't all drawl.
* Yes, we've all been to Chicago. No, we haven't all met Michael Jordan.
* The "s" is goddam silent.
* Many of us are neither Cubs fans nor Sox fans. A large section of the state contains many Cardinals fans. Many of the rest of us don't honestly care about baseball. Really. No, many of us will not "die of happiness" if the Cubs win a World Series.
* No, it's not all corn.
* But no, not all of us are farmers or live on farms.
* Yes, we have radio stations that don't play country music.

And yes, there are two seasons--winter and construction.

AGREED!

And to add on:

Illinois is more than just Chicago

[AnqeiicDemise]

....

*LA is a 6 hour drive from San Jose, not counting the traffic.

I made that drive in four and a half hours.

-covers leaden foot-

I don't have a problem, I swear.

[draggar]

Again, due to an increased number of tourons; I know that England is a titchy country compared to yours, whether you be French, German or American. However, I do not know every single corner of it and if I happen to be in London, I can NOT direct you anywhere, dammit!

However, if you persist in asking me for directions, I will delight in making sure you get completely lost by giving you a set of random, pointless directions in order to ensure that you leave me alone.

Hey, I was looking to do Strafford Upon Avon, Stonehenge, and Warwick castle all in a day, how can I best to that?

Also, tomorrow, we were looking to to Wales and Scotland (I'm sure many people don't realize how large it is - even though it is small in relative size to other nations).

[aniwahya]

Chicago, Illinois-

-the signs lie
- if you can't handle aggressive driving, don't bother with the rental
-even if you can handle aggressive driving, why would you *WANT* to drive here
- the street layout was designed by an imp of the perverse who thrives on creating as much traffic congestion and confusion as possible
- if you are walking at dusk and suddenly notice all the other foot traffic has disappeared you might not want to be walking where you are walking after dark
- it's dirty, smoggy (icy and slushy in winter), and dank (people expect the whether to some extent, but many people don't believe just how different it is from sunnier climes)

[The Last to Know]

Just a couple for Virginia

It is entirely possible to have both a foot of snow and then an 80 degree day in the same week.
Richmond IS the capital of Virginia - NOT Washington D.C.
Virginia is one of those states that can & will fire an employee just because they are gay
Obama was the First Democratic Presidential Candidate To Carry VA Since 1964

Edit: Richmond IS the capital of Virginia - NOT Washington D.C. - NOR is it the capital of Maryland!

[smileyeagle1021]

Virginia is one of those states that can & will fire an employee just because they are gay

Utah too... thankfully I know my boss won't because he finally figured out that the company logo looks vaguely like the gay pride rainbow, which has brought us a lot of guests who have never heard of us before, don't really want to support anti-gay Utah, and think that because we have the rainbowish logo that we are gay friendly (which actually we are) and M knows that having employees who are actually gay helps to cement that image.

[Jester]

The street layout makes perfect sense, it is one of the most straight forward street systems I've ever seen, now stop whining that it's so confusing that we use numbers rather than names...

It actually made no sense to me, but in my defense, I was there for three days, and was a passenger rather than a driver the entire time (other than moving a dance floor from a house to a community center, which was literally a few hundred yards down the street). I dare say if I had been driving rather than riding during my time there, it would have made more sense to me. Phoenix, after all, is based on a grid system, so I am used to that....it's just different is all. And besides, when driving, I tend to find my way pretty well about anywhere that I am.

I'm hoping to surprise DH with a trip to the Pirates in Paradise Festival later this year...

I hope to see you when you are here, then. Let me also tell you that, while The Bar has a good beer selection, if you are looking for the BEST beer selection in Key West, hie thee to Finnegan's Wake, an Irish pub with an eclectic and creative menu and a fantastic selection of beer...not to mention frequently hosting a fairly inebriated Jester.

I'm usually a tequila tippler as a rule.

I make one of the best margaritas on the island, if you are into that particular form of tequila tippling. Just saying.

Illinois is more than just Chicago

My friend Frank, whose father is from Chicago (and who claims he himself is from Chicago, though he only spent a few short young years there) often says of that: "Just outside of Chicago, there's a lovely little place known as Illinois." Kind of sums the attitude about it, don't you think?

Hey, I was looking to do Strafford Upon Avon, Stonehenge, and Warwick castle all in a day, how can I best to that?

Amusingly, my little sister lives a mere five miles from Stonehenge.

...the company logo looks vaguely like the gay pride rainbow...

I didn't notice that. Then again, I didn't notice the company logo at all when I stayed there, as I was tired and (at least later that night) rather tipsy from imbibing so much damn Evolution Amber.

[Evil Queen]

Franklin, NC (my home town) "The Gem Stone Capitol of the world is..."

--Actually sitting on a giant asbestos mine. Yes, you are digging in asbestos. Yes, THAT asbestos.
--The big hill in the center of town is an ancient Indian burial mound. Yes, it's really haunted.
--The 24 hours gas station shuts down at 8PM during the winter.
--Half the city shuts down during the winter (including my favourite little fabric store).
--It's safer you NOT hike the Appeclation Trail.
--No, you can no longer get married under Bridal Falls (there was a land slide some years back and last I heard they hadn't cleared it yet).

New Mexico

--Green Chile does not literally come on everything but it is an option!
--Dust storms are REAL.
--It does rain. For about a minute on a daily basis.
--Flash Floods do happen too. I just haven't experienced one yet.
--Yes, there is a lot of cool stuff to do in *town* but none of it is appealing to tourists very much. (the local college has lots of fun things and my social calendar is filling up quickly!)