I need an outside opinion, Please!

[Sliceanddice]

Ok this is long and a little demented so bare with me.

as most of you know, my work is sucky right now.
I was starting to look for a new job but then i had my car accident and after awhile it became very very clear that i couldn't concentrate on both and not wind up having a nervous breakdown. I finally went to my mom and told her i couldn't worry about both and since the car thing needed to be taken care of first i had to worry about that.

Apparently to my mother that meant as soon as i had a new car i would start applying and looking again in force.
What i meant was as soon as the insurance stuff including replacement of lost founds. because it will be hard to deal with stuff.

so anyways i get a new car, with her help.
and right away she is on my back about the work situation.
her big complaint is im making excuses about three job which in her mind are possibilities.

1- is the job i was working when i joined. A job in her mind is a a no where not worth it job that she thinks i should get just to quit in a month. I told her i'd rather just look for a job that ill be keeping and can actually progress in that apply and possibly take a job you admit you would be ragging me for and trying to get me to quit in a month.

2- Is my last job. I told her that my last job doesn't exist anymore, the company that bought the company i worked for hated inbound and if i wanted to do that kind of job, she would either have to lose her bedroom or my brother would, because it moved to out home, not counting the fact i would have to get a phone lone, a personal internet line and possible a new computer. If i worked in the call center i would have to be the lowest of the low telemarketer either trying to get commission only and selling satellite TV or get base plus commission trying to sell drugs to little old ladies.

3- seriously pisses me off because we already talked about me NOT being a nurse a hundred different times. when i was 17 i completed a Nursing Assistant class but you cant be certified in this state until you are 18. At the time my parents and i made a decision that me going to school was more important. Now in arizona to get certified you have to be within 2 years of your class or have proof that for the last two years you've been working as a NA. My mother keeps harping and harping about the fact i have these skills but i cant use them.
I told her (and i know she ignored me) that it wasn't worth it. I would either have to re take the year long class, there for taking a year away from taking classes i actually want and need to take to get the degree i want and thats even if i can get into it right away and just wind up on a waiting list, or find a facility here in the state that will willing hire some one 5 years from there NA class, agree to re train them and work them for a minimum of 2 years. Which means 2 years of working a back breaking unappreciated job, in a field i don't want to be in, working full time for most likely less the minimum wage because most places that would be willing to do that making you pay for the re training classes, and to top it all off i would still not be able to take the classes i need and would still be working in a career that I DON'T WANT TO WORK!!!!

For a woman who keeps saying I'm an adult who needs to be concentrating on school and a career, she seem rather willing to have my waste at least 2 years of my life for a job i don't want, like, or would make use of the certification.

one of my other issues is she keeps treating my like and idiot and a child, this a woman who let my brother waste 2 years 'looking' (i.e. taking some classes but really just over sleeping and playing video games all day) for a job while i was working my ass off taking care of the house, my dad and my work with my school work.
Some times i think she is punishing me for actually taking care of my father.

so am i over reacting or is my mom right?

[Sableonblonde]

Simply put - to your parents, you are always going to be their child. And as long as you are under their roof, and they are supporting you financially in any way - then they will always TREAT you like a child.

You are in charge of your life, ultimately, and you should do what makes you happy. But as long as you are still dependent on your mom she is going to feel like it is her right to butt in. It is a trade-off. If you don't want to deal with that then you need to make it a priority to become completely independent so that you can live however you want without someone on your back.

[Shards]

It's actually relatively common that when a family has more than one child, the one who is least responsible is least likely to be ridden by the parents. This is, admittedly, only from observing families I know, which is a pretty limited selection, but I've only seen one or two families where the irresponsible kid is pushed by their folks to do something with him/herself, and I've seen several where the parents turn a blind eye while hounding the more responsible child.

Once again, limited experience, no stats to back it, but it seems pretty common from the people I've spent time with. If it makes you feel better, think of it as her believing you're the kid who's going to make something of themself.

[Sliceanddice]

limited selection, but I've only seen one or two families where the irresponsible kid is pushed by their folks to do something with him/herself, and I've seen several where the parents turn a blind eye while hounding the more responsible child.

Once again, limited experience, no stats to back it, but it seems pretty common from the people I've spent time with. If it makes you feel better, think of it as her believing you're the kid who's going to make something of themself.

you know that would make me feel better if not until 2 years ago while i was the most driven child i wasn't considered very responsible, unless they considered me actually doing house work responsible.
While im the oldest, i am the one child who completely bombed at school social, i was an outcast and spent most of my primary schools be hunted by other students, and academically, i was a 2.5 student i loved learning but hated classes for various reason and had little to no ambition to push myself while when my brother and sister where they same they where A and B students with out trying while i was the C student. I will admit that i did and do have a pressure on me as the Oldest such as when growing up as children we would be rough as children often are and i would be punished for even a minimal force used on my part to a major extreme which ultimately lead to me being so severely abuse by class mate i was almost hospitalized and finally pent up frustration and fear lead to me striking another girl after never having the opportunity as a child to allow myself to learn my own strengths and to learn the scopes of my fears.

I was never considered the responsibly child not when i had a job, not when i paid my own bills, took care of the house and even provided support to my own family members while my brother or sister either didnt or refused to work, wasted away scholarships and bummed around. Ive always been the one pushed and pushed.

so i dont think thats it.