Coupons and abandonment issues

[Soulstealer]

I've had abandonment issues since my parents divorced and feeling of being unwanted have occasionally come up because of my step mom, she's nice but she does things that will make you feel that way.

So today my dad and step-mom went shopping at the electronics store for something and while they were there I asked them to pick me up something I wanted to buy for my brother's birthday. When I checked over the reciept to see how much I owed my dad I noticed it was considerably less has he had paid with a coupon that if you buy a certain dollar amount you get some money off your purchase.

I was asked to pay back how much the stuff cost before the coupon was applied rather than after. I honestly don't care about the money but it didn't help that now I'm going to angry for hours for feeling that I'm worth less than a coupon. It used to be that he'd have not asked me for the precoupon money but being with my stepmom has changed that. I hate talking about money with them now since it always ends up making me feel like I'm some sort of burden to be undertaken instead of family.

I'll be glad to be out of here, back in uni, and out of the country come September. I'd rather feel lonely from not knowing anyone than like this.

[Becks]

Charging you the precoupon price? That's lame. Really lame.

[protege]

That's lame. Really lame.

Lame? That's not being lame. That's being a cheap bastard.

[Soulstealer]

Alright so I tried telling my dad why I was angry and he kept asking if I was having with trouble with money. Which made me more angry because he obviously didn't hear me the first time when I said it wasn't about the stupid money and everytime after that when he asked. And he said something stupid about being responsible because it's buying a present for my brother.

Which made it harder for me to talk and explain that when he and my stepmom got petty (his word but accurate)about small amounts of money it made me feel like a burden and unwanted. And I don't think I ended actually telling him because I just got more upset and I keep feeling stupid about getting upset over a coupon and a paltry amount of money in the first place.

I just want to drop the subject and forget about it but he'll be on it for a while. I just wish he did listen or that I could tell my grandmother about this without feeling stupid. She could say it and be articulate.

[iradney]

You could try writing him a letter if you get tongue tied. I find that works alot for me. You can write a few angry ones, and once you have it out of your system, you can write a calm, logical letter.

[4love]

That is incredibly petty of him. You don't ask to reimbursed for magical-dollars, you ask to be reimbursed for what you actually spent. That's what it means. If you tried that trick with the government you'd be arrested for fraud. Or I guess there's a nicer way to look at it- right now, he's basically asking to be paid for the service of picking up the present for you. Which would make sense, if this were a business transaction, and he were a store. But it wasn't, and he isn't. He's your dad. Even though he isn't acting like a very good one.

If this is a pattern, it's a bad one. Write it down- this, and every other instance. Include all the ones you can remember in the letter you give him. Make a copy for the b*tchy new step-mom- she needs to know you're on to her. It's possible she doesn't realize it, but she's putting some major tension on your relationship with your dad.

Definitely tell gramma about this. Do not feel stupid- it is not at all stupid to feel bad when you're being abused and insulted. It is, however, right to feel angry.

[PhotoChick]

I dont even get it. Unless its one of those $10 off whatever then yeah I get it and he's being petty (unless he needed your purchase to make the minimum). If it a percent off coupon them I'm not sure what he think he losing out on. Unless he's trying to make money off of you?

Ok I just reread the OP it is a $$ off. This is my take on it. Pay him what you think is right. Only you can decided if you feel you should pay for the coupon or not. After you do that talk to him and tell him what the real problem is. I have problems saying what I feel as well so I would either take notes, or write him a letter and tell him that you are having problem expressing your feelings and then after he reads the letter that you two can discuss it.

One suggestion for the future. If you sent them to pick something up in the future ask for a separate receipt/purchase. Most stores are happy to do this and then you have a bottom line total. Also if its a item for you then you have the receipt to return or exchange it if you need.

[Peppergirl]

Im so sorry. I read this and just became incredibly grateful for my parents.

Your dad is a tool, sorry.

And,