Do you have ADD?

[friendofjimmyk]

That is so me, especially if I'm at all tired. I remember in college, one week I couldn't do any D&D because there was a rabbit outside the window and I just. could. not. focus! on anything else. Another player had to chase it off before I could figure out what I wanted my bard to do.

OH! I that happens at work to me all the time. I sit near windows and when they are open, I am distracted by bunnies, birds, and squirrels.

I'm horrible in classes too...instructors would say something...and one word would catch me and I was off in la la land.

[Misanthropical]

friendofjimmyk, I sometimes drive my husband crazy doing things like that, even though it drives him crazy sometimes he does say my having ADD is one of my enduring qualities.

[Shangri-laschild]

I have it as well. Yeah, lists are such a must for me. Of course, then there's the remembering that I made a list and to look at it part! I was on medication from early elementry school (not because I was bouncing off the walls, but because I could tell that I couldn't focus and that something was off) to the early part of my first college semester. Because of life being crazy around that time period near the end and and lack of insurance, I got off the medication for a while. I hadn't been regularly on it since late 2004. Recently I finally managed to get back on and it's amazing what a help it's been. It's not a fix all, but it gives me just enough help so that I can take care of the rest myself. Suddenly the huge data entry project at work is no longer as much of a struggle for me. I'm better able to get things done, and I don't have to take as many trips back and forth between the car and running back in to the house to grab something I forgot (sometimes multiple times in a row). If you are diagnosed with it, my advise would be try to find a medication that helps, but also read up on it and try out different ideas of things that might help (like the lists).

[Peppergirl]

I am absolutely blown away by the caffiene thing. It makes complete sense now. I need it to wake up, but I absolutely CANNOT concentrate without massive doses of it.

It all makes sense..

I do have ADD, without the H part. Both of my boys have it, one with H and one without.

My oldest (the ADD one) went to the same pediatrician as I did. When he was diagnosed, he looked at me pointedly and said 'does any of this sound familiar?'

My kids are older now and are no longer on the medication, so I've kind of lost touch with keeping up on the latest news on it.

I'm unmedicated, unless you count the caffiene and the occasional times I would swipe a ritalin from my kids bottle if I had to concentrate on something important. Yeah, I know....

[calulu]

I was diagnosed with ADD when I was working in the medical clinic by the doctor I was working for and I have many of the same symptoms as you guys, inability to handle simple grownup things like balancing my checkbook or keeping things straight, inappropriate sleeping, blurting out stuff, jumping from subject to subject. I tried various meds, diets, etc and the only thing that seems to have helped me is being obsessively vigilant about staying organized. If I am super organized I can cope with the day to day, without it I start living in a slip shod manner, I might remember to empty the trash cans but not to put the bagged trash into the outdoor container. I start and stop things all the time. I make sure now I have place for everything and clearly marked storage containers. My art supplies are in labeled stacked containers, my clothes are in a fancy Cabinet Maid closet organizer. I force myself to use a kitchen timer for tasks, write lists and sit down once a week to deal with bill paying, check book balancing and filing. Found a great system in an issue of Better Homes & Gardens for keeping the paperwork straight. I have two in boxes, one holds everything that need filing and the other holds my checkbook, stamps, envelopes, a calculator, a pen and return address stickers. I pay bills, put the receipts in the other box and after paying bills I file everything in the filing box into an accordion organizer marked with the year. Beginning of every year I start a new accordion file and mark it with the new year. At the close of the tax year I put the year I'm finished with after filing taxes in the attic in a box .

I know it sounds like a lot of steps but it is the only thing I've found that works for me.

By contrast I am amazing together and organized naturally in the work environment without much effort. Anyone else find working environments to be less challenging than home and day to day with ADD or am I the lone freak?

[yizuman]

Both of my step kids has ADD and none of them can handle any kind of criticism that can be thrown at them. They get pissed off and destroy things.

In fact my step son came home one day on July 8th, around 2:15-2:30 PM drunk and high. He walked into his room and 5 mins later he came out screaming, "Where's my shit?"

Now we have a very strict rule in our home, no drugs or alcohol in our house and smoking is done outside.

So I turn around and say, "You mean to tell me you have drugs in our house?", he ignored my question and punched me in the stomach. Then he went into my bedroom (my wife and I sleep seperately now since she just came home on May 13th after spending a year being hospitalized for congestive heart failure, renal failure, respiratory arrest and a stroke. She's bedridden now in a medical bed, so I moved our old bed into my step-daughter's former bedroom and am sleeping there now.) and tore everything up looking for his drugs.

My guess is he forgot where he put it (I found it later and flushed it) and in his paranoia state, he thought I found it and thinks I'm using it (he has this misinformed idea that everyone does drugs, go figure).

Then he comes back, grabs my grandmother's lamp and holds it hostage, demanding to know where his shit is and I told him I do not know. He smashes it on top of my flatbed scanner, destroying both my lamp and printer at the same time.

Then he starts to leave stating, "I'll be back, my shit better be in my room when I come back."

I called the cops and they come over, sees the damage and goes looking for him. He's still out there and I already got a restraining order against him. I keep a baseball bat near me and keep the windows and doors locked at all times.

It's been my experience and from research that 99% of those that have ADD can't handle negativity towards them and have anger issues that they can't control.

Yiz

[calulu]

Wow, I don't quite what to say except you're a stronger person that I.. never heard of ADD people having trouble taking criticism before. Hang in there.

[thegiraffe]

TPG - I was diagnosed when I was 7. This was back in the early 90s...right at the beginning of the "let's diagnose every bouncy kid with ADHD!" craze. However, I'm sure they got it right. I'm easily distracted, impulsive, and kind of socially awkward. At any given time, I have 3-8 things going on in my head...though I'm pretty good at keeping track of all of it. I was more hyperactive when I was younger, but I've grown out of that somewhat. I was on ritalin for 7.5 years before I took myself off in 9th grade. It worked amazingly at first, but my body got used to it and it quit working.

Ritalin, concerta (both the same drug - methylphinidate), adderal....they're all stimulants. The way they work is counter-intuitive - why give a kid who is bouncing off the walls, floors, chairs, and ceiling a stimulant??? Evidence (FMRIs) show that ADHD is caused by an under-active prefrontal region. This lobe, "behind" your forehead, is the impulse control center. Lack of activity in this region seems to be the hallmark of ADHD. The stimulant drugs increase activity in this portion of the brain, therefore increasing the impulse control. The interesting thing about ADHD is that different parts of the prefrontal region may be affected in different people. This explains the differences in behaviors between different ADHD people...or why some people are impulsive-type, some are hyperactive-type, and some are combination-type.

I find that parents see an ADHD diagnosis one of two ways: either they're ecstatic that they can get medication to calm their child down, or they feel their child is doomed to have a label. As an adult who has grown up with ADHD, I have learned to deal with some of the less glamorous aspects of the disorder and embrace some of the neat quirks. For example, like I said earlier, I can keep track of several thought patterns in my head at once. I can have a conversation, work through a mental to-do list, come up with an idea for a solution to a problem, and keep track of other aspects of my life at the same time. I have a wacky, if unconventional, organizational system. No one else knows where to find anything, but it makes sense to me. I'm creative - I come up with solutions to things that other people wouldn't even think of. I'm presented with a problem, and my brain gets to work thinking about possible solutions. I'm excellent at something called a hyper-focus...basically totally and completely focusing on a task so intensely that I lose track of the outside world.

I've learned to train myself to concentrate by silently repeating directions or lists in my head, and while reading, I say the words silently to myself so my mind won't wander. I'm not medicated now, and I haven't been for ten years. In college, I took ritalin like two or three times (prescribed) to see if it would help or what it would do, but I didn't like what it did to me. Caffeine affects me like it does any normal person, only a little stronger. It doesn't necessarily make me concentrate any more, it just makes me bounce a little higher haha.

I know this is long-winded, but I know a ton about ADHD. In fact, the only reason I got the prescription for ritalin in college to give it another try was because I told the psychiatrist everything I knew about ADHD, and she was thoroughly impressed. I've done my research, I've lived it...I even have a BA in psychology! It's a huge part of my life, but I've learned to not let it be a curse. Instead, I use it to my advantage and make the best of it.

Good luck!

My oldest son has ADHD and my youngest son has ADD, but my daughter is fine....

My dad has it, but will deny it till he is blue in the face.

There is a ton of evidence that shows ADHD being passed through paternal lines. Therefore, your father having it increases your sons' chances of having it - even more so if your husband has any of it in his family. My grandfather has it (not diagnosed, but it's obvious), my dad has it (same story), and my brother and I have it. Interestingly enough, it seems to be more common in boys than in girls...which may explain partially how your daughter is "normal", but your sons are both ADHD.

[thegiraffe]

Both of my step kids has ADD and none of them can handle any kind of criticism that can be thrown at them. They get pissed off and destroy things.

In fact my step son came home one day on July 8th, around 2:15-2:30 PM drunk and high. He walked into his room and 5 mins later he came out screaming, "Where's my shit?"

Uh...this doesn't sound like ONLY ADHD to me. ADHD is infamous for a high co-morbidity with other disorders (essentially, if one has ADHD, the chances increase for having another mental disorder in tandem). This almost sounds like explosive disorder coupled with likely polysubstance abuse or dependency. Good for you for getting the restraining order...now stick to it! You don't want to enable him - it won't help him at all.

Your step son needs help. Because of the restraining order, I'm going to assume he's an adult (over 18)? Unfortunately, you can't force adult children into treatment, but you can stage an intervention. He needs to first detox from whatever he's on (from the paranoia, I would say it sounds like crack or cocaine...possibly herion?), then be treated for the conditions that caused him to use in the first place. Most illicit drug use is due to unresolved issues or pain or trauma that the person doesn't know how to deal with, so they turn to drugs. They increasingly need more to feel that same high, and you wind up with an addict who is totally dependent pretty quickly.

I'm assuming they're your wife's kids? Has her ex (well, the boys' father) ever struggled with drugs or alcohol? Has she? They likely have the "addiction gene" - it's essentially a genetic vulnerability that functions like a switch. Everything is fine and good until as little as that first sip of alcohol or that first puff of a cigarette, and that's it...addiction. I encourage you to read a book called "Beautiful Boy" by David Sheff, and his son Nic's book "Tweak". Read "Beautiful Boy" first. It really gives you some insight and places to go for help.

It's been my experience and from research that 99% of those that have ADD can't handle negativity towards them and have anger issues that they can't control.

This isn't my experience at all, and I've had a TON of experience with those who have ADHD (teaching, counseling, psych degree, and I have it). Those with ADHD tend to have a diminished ability to deal with things they can't control because we like to know what's going on. Having things change without warning or come up on us unexpected tend to throw us into a panic, which can look like anger sometimes. It's usually just how we try to get our world back to where it's safe...where we know what's going on. As far as handling criticism or negativity, those with ADHD face a stereotype and stigma...and are indirectly mocked by comics, cartoons, and the like. It doesn't bother me, but some are quite sensitive to it...especially if they've grown up in an unsupportive environment (I'm not saying that you provided an unsupportive environment for your stepsons - simply stating an observation).

I stand by my advice to try to get your stepsons some help, and encourage you to read those books. Sometimes, it just helps to know that there's someone else who has been down the same road you have.


(I'm speaking from my experience in the field, my personal experience, and my educational background. For the addictions related information, I lived and worked at a wilderness camp for adjudicated teenagers for almost a year. These kids had, among other issues, drug problems. We did a lot of addictions and drug counseling, and because I lived with them, I was able to see a lot of the process that they go through. Addiction is no small thing. Try to get your stepsons involved in NA (narcotics anonymous) or AA (alcoholics anonymous)...something....anything. Getting clean, if they choose to - it has to be a choice - is something they can't do by themselves. They need support. Good luck.)

[draggar]

I've never officially been diagnosed with ADD / ADHD - I never went to see a doctor for it. I just tried to take a test for it (at http://www.addresources.org/article_...klist_amen.php ) and it took me 4 tries to get it done - I kept getting bored with it (the last time I would do a few questions, then walk a dog, a few more, get a drink of water, a few more, play with Otis a little, etc - and I'm not joking).

20 or more responses of 3 (or higher) there is a good chance you have ADHD. I had over 40. The "clinchers" were all rated 4 (the highest). I've had these symptoms for as long as I can remember.

I'm wondering if I should see my doctor about it. I also turn to food a lot for comfort (I'll do something, grab a couple of M&Ms, do something else, munch on some goldfish (Pepperidge Farm crackers - not out of a fishbowl), etc.. (I guess it's the lesser of evils - alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc..).

I've always had the attitude that I should just live with it but now that I've started doing some research on it (because of this thread, BTW) it seems like it is having a lot more of a negative affect on my life (and relationship with my wife) than I thought. I'm seriously considering seeing my doctor about it now (amongst other things). The issue is that I don't want to be drugged up (I am strongly against medications - even though I'm on allergy medications and inhalers, I try not to take other medications, I have to have a serious headache before I take an ibuprofen).

Caffeine pills have been mentioned - how do they help? I'm afraid they would just make me bounce off the walls (I used to take Stackers until I realized how bad they were for you - I was on Dexatrim for a while, too). Maybe I should get some caffeinated candy from Think Geek.com?

I am also an extremely indecisive person - I didn't see it mentioned on some sites but I'm wondering if this is one of the causes. One thing I do fear is that will it get worse with age (I'm 36 now).

The really sad thing is that I think part of it held me back throughout my life. I stopped college because I got bored with it - only ended up with a pair of associates degrees. Rarely went for promotions due to low self-esteem (although when I did go for them I usually did extremely well in the interviewing process).

Another very sad part is that I don't know if I'd be able to talk to my wife about it. As I said before, she's handicapped (coxovara / hip dysplasia as well as bad arthritis from the hips down, and now a medication she was on is tearing apart the ligaments in her right arm). She normally has the "toughen up" attitude when I try to mention issues with me (other than asthma - she does have respect for that one) and she seriously feels that ADD / ADHD are "made up" to sell more medications.

Edit: Another killer is that I have about a dozen "half-assed" web sites that could be GREAT if I could only finish them, but I get too bored with the project too quickly. I'm trying my hardest to continue working on DogActors.com.

[4love]

draggar- medications, though helpful, are not the only things that can help. I was on Ritalin for years, but I stopped taking it in college because I finally had the chance to arrange my schedule to 'compensate'. (I did finish, btw, but only with a last-second change of major (got bored) and the help of some very understanding professors.) Also, medicine alone, while often very helpful, will not magically instill good work habits. I'm trying to say you're right when you say getting 'drugged up' won't fix everything. (I think that's what you're saying, anyway. Was that right?) What it can do is help you focus long enough to learn and practice ways to, well, compensate for- or even make use of- the unique challenges and opportunities AD(H)D can provide. Medicine, in this case, is one tool of many, and often one that can be put away later on.

I'm sure your wife is a wonderful person, but she could stand to be a little more understanding. That's like telling someone, 'well, you're only blind, just suck it up!' AD(H)D is a disability, and needs to be treated seriously if it's to be overcome. Otherwise, as you (and others, including me) have noticed, it can and will keep you from doing everything you want to accomplish. Has AD(H)D been over-diagnosed? Occasionally. Does the disability, known as AD(H)D, caused by a measurable chemical imbalance in the brain, exist in a sizable percentage of the population? You bet your booties.

I don't know whether there are any studies of AD(H)D getting better or worse with age- my guess is that as people grow and age, they learn coping mechanisms that help them deal. Whether they're good mechanisms or not depends on the person.

Edit- thegiraffe- thank you for your post. It's really great to hear from someone with more in-depth, professional knowledge (as opposed to mine- just books and my own experiences). You've said everything I felt needed to be said, but put much better than I would've been able to put it, and from a much more informed position.

On a related note, thegiraffe- do you have any recommendations for an adult with ADD (no H for me, thanks) who feels she could use some help, but doesn't want to go back to medication?

[thegiraffe]

On a related note, thegiraffe- do you have any recommendations for an adult with ADD (no H for me, thanks) who feels she could use some help, but doesn't want to go back to medication?

Technically, it's all classified as ADHD in the DSM-IV-TR (the diagnostic criteria manual) classified into different types - inattention, hyperactive/impulsive, and combination. You're likely just inattention type.

As far as recommendations for Adult ADHD, you know what works best for you. I function best on a schedule when I know what's going on and what needs to be done when. I allow myself a set amount of time for whatever needs to get done, and I know how much I can take until I get overwhelmed, distracted, etc. When I feel like I'm getting distracted, I allow myself to (if the situation permits) for a little, and then reign myself back in. It's allowing my brain to get the extra stimulation it requires without having undesirable effects.

And don't totally rule out medication either. Ritalin, Concerta, and Adderal are no longer the only medications that are prescribed for ADHD, particularly Adult ADHD. I looked into Strattera in college (non-stimulant and non-habit forming), but it was really expensive as there was no generic for it yet. I don't know if that's the case now or not, or if your insurance would cover it. There's another one...I forget what it's called. It's new though, so it would likely be expensive. They also use some medications for bipolar (Abilify), antidepressants (Wellbutrin), and high blood pressure (Clonidine)...among others.

Even if taken for a short(er) amount of time, medication can allow you to establish a routine and coping mechanisms that will function once you stop taking the medication. The trick is that each person is different, so you have to find what works for you. There are also TONS of resources online...do a google search for Adult ADHD...there are numerous websites and support pages to help those with Adult ADHD out.

Good luck!

[draggar]

I'm trying to say you're right when you say getting 'drugged up' won't fix everything. (I think that's what you're saying, anyway. Was that right?) What it can do is help you focus long enough to learn and practice ways to, well, compensate for- or even make use of- the unique challenges and opportunities AD(H)D can provide. Medicine, in this case, is one tool of many, and often one that can be put away later on.

You are right. I used to have depression issues and my wife kept on telling me to see a doctor to get on meds, I didn't want to because i didn't want them to just "make me think that I was happy". That's long past (might have been a phase?) but I am still having issues focusing on task(s) at hand - this is my largest downfall.

I'm sure your wife is a wonderful person, but she could stand to be a little more understanding.

The issue is that growing up for her there was no ADA, no ramps, etc.. for handicapped so her parents (primarily her father) raised her with the "toughen up" attitude (not in a negative way) so that she could have the fullest life possible (consider where he was coming from - he immigrated to this country back in the 1960s, when applying for jobs, many hospitals told him to "get back on the boat" - even though they had books that he had written on their bookshelves).

He realized that, at the time, there was a ton of indifference towards handicapped people and it really wasn't until my wife was a young adult (late teen years) when things started to change - mandatory ramps, assistance for handicapped people, ADA, etc.. I think her feelings are coming from there. I think she also has the issue "if I don't see it, it doesn't exist". I notice, quite often, if I do chores around the house she only acknowledges it if she sees me doing it or she can see a clear result (clean laundry, etc.). (No, I'm not expecting her to commend me on everything I do but if I'm home and I clean the house, she won't say a word but mention a clump of dog fur on the floor and ask if I got off the computer at all during the day). I'm thinking she'll have the same attitude towards ADD.

I don't know whether there are any studies of AD(H)D getting better or worse with age- my guess is that as people grow and age, they learn coping mechanisms that help them deal. Whether they're good mechanisms or not depends on the person.

I can cope with a lot of it - my fidgeting annoys the hell out of my wife being tired in the afternoon - that's what protein bars and a short walk are good for. My largest issue is focusing on something and staying focused. Like I mentioned- my web sites. I'm sure if I was more focused that they would be a lot better now (especially my main projects) but it's hard to stay focused on them for a long period of time. If I can get that down then I'm sure those sites would be a lot more successful plus I could probably do a lot more with work (the full time job) - I get bored and distracted way to easily.

I'm still wondering how caffeine pills help - I may pick some up this week to see 9they're not too expensive).

[Peppergirl]

I'm still wondering how caffeine pills help - I may pick some up this week to see 9they're not too expensive).

I tried some this weekend. Maybe it's all in my head, but they worked. And well.

I was just afraid to say anything for fear of someone lecturing me about how bad it is for me.

[draggar]

Well, caffeine pills are far better for you than pills like Stackers and Dexatrim.