Dating Advice

[technical.angel]

Okay, I need some dating advice, and GK is a little too passive aggressive to help.

I started talking to this guy on a free dating site. We clicked and took it to first Google talk and then skype.

The problem is that he's canceled two dates on me. I'm planning to stick to the 3 strikes rule, but I have no idea what to do if he strikes out.

Gatekeeper said just to delete him and move on. I need other suggestions.

Help!

[taxguykarl]

I'm with Gatekeeper on this.

Ask yourself: What makes this individual such a prize that you are willing to go to these lengths?

[technical.angel]

I just figure I should at least tell him why I'm not talking to him anymore.

[The Gatekeeper]

What did you want me to say? Me and the roomie will be down with her hatchet and a bag of quicklime?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I just figure I should at least tell him why I'm not talking to him anymore.

Why? Did he explain why he bagged on you?

Personally, I would have written him off after he bagged on me once. But twice?

And you'.re considering giving him a shot at doing it again? Exactly why are you so desperate? I mean, even if he doesn't bag on you the third time, what do you get? A guy who knows just how desperate you are knows he can treat you with disrespect because of it. That would be even worse than if he just bagged on you.

People treat you the way you demand to be treated. If you let people disrespect you, believe you me they will.

At this point, any attention from you will be regarded as desperation by him. It's not an attractive trait, but a lot of insecure or abusive men like that in a woman because they know they can mistreat a desperate woman and get away with it. Hell, he might even be testing you, who knows?

Move on. You should have moved on after the first dissing. And don't explain yourself because he doens't matter enough to have earned an explanation. And furthermore, he'll know why.

[blas]

I only use the rules of baseball with my friends.....not dates.

You blow me off once.....if you at least call or text me, I will give you another chance. You completely blow me off, no call no text no apology....you're done. Bonus points if when I speak with you again, you act like it's no big deal blowing someone off.

[technical.angel]

Both times, he canceled the night before. It left me hanging, but not hanging in a restuarant waiting for him.

Why? Did he explain why he bagged on you?

The first time he was sick, and worked open to close all week. The second time, he had family in town.

[The Gatekeeper]

For clarification, he did let her know a day or so ahead of time that he "had to reschedule". TA remind me how he canceled again? Did you contact him to confirm on the Friday(s) and that's when he postponed, or did he contact you first?

[technical.angel]

He told me he felt like an ass, but had to cancel. I mean, I really couldn't argue with him canceling because he was feeling sick. I wouldn't want to have to go on a date when I was feeling crappy. And who am I to say anything about family that lives a couple hundred miles away?

[gremcint]

It could be not that he's standing you up but he's really nervous and chickened out.

[technical.angel]

That's a little of what I think happened the first time. He just got a case of the nerves. Of course, we talked all night that night.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

So this family from hundreds of miles away didn't tell him they were coming for a visit until the night before they were due in? That's driving a long ass way to visit someone without even confirming they were gonna be there beforehand.

That guy is full of shit.

And judging from GK's post, I am assuming the guy wasn't even gonna bother to tell you, except you called him. I'm willing to go so far as to say you most certainly would have ended up sitting alone in a restaurant if you had not called him to confirm.

After the first cancellation, did you reschedule or did he?

And chickening out is still standing her up. Only thing is that now instead of just being stood up, she's been stood up by a complete and utter pssy man.

[technical.angel]

No no no, we haven't talke on the phone, only Google talk. And he's always the who initiated the conversations. And conversations about dates.

[The Gatekeeper]

Well you wanted feedback TA, and your getting it. RK is right to be suspicious. You know him better than us, but still like I said you don't really "know" him.

Your question was what to do if he cancels again. I think if you read in between the lines, you'll see the answer. And I really can't help you out with anything other than deleting him, because neither Roomie or I have passports, so getting over the border is not happening

Hopefully the 3rd time is the charm.

[technical.angel]

All I want is help phrasing a " off" letter. :: sniffle ::