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What sort of job description is this?

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  • What sort of job description is this?

    So Apple is going to be opening a retail store at the Pheasant Lane Mall in Nashua NH. That's very close to where I live, and I'm giving some thought to applying there. Now the store isn't open yet, so obviously applications are being handled through apple.com/

    Here's the thing.......their job descriptions suck. For the most part, the job titles themselves give you a pretty good idea as to what they are (cashier, store manager, assistant store manager being pretty obvious). But what's the difference between a "Specialist" and a "Personal Shopping Specialist?" They don't say.

    And it doesn't help that the descriptions are filled with hoaky metaphors and other things that are just a little bit TOO clever. For instance, for the job "Concierge" there's this:

    "You nurture all budding technology crushes and lifelong Apple love affairs."

    What the hell does THAT mean? And why would that be important for a Concierge position?

    This ultimately means that I have no idea what position to apply for!
    "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

    RIP Plaidman.

  • #2
    Quoth Dave1982 View Post
    "You nurture all budding technology crushes and lifelong Apple love affairs."

    What the hell does THAT mean? And why would that be important for a Concierge position?
    You're the person who every time someone looks at a product with anything remotely resembling interest, you push the Apple lifestyle like you're a damned pimp and that product is an underperforming hooker.
    Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

    http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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    • #3
      Quoth Dave1982 View Post
      "You nurture all budding technology crushes and lifelong Apple love affairs."

      What the hell does THAT mean?
      I think it means you sell products made by Apple.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        Dave, it is obvious that you do not have the proper smugness and indie-ness levels to effectively work in an apple store. Go watch an Indian drama without subtitles*, and make sure it had a low budget by Indian standards. Then buy yourself a black leotard, and try reading the statements again. They should all be completely clear if you absorbed the proper attitude from these experiences, and you should be sure to wear the leotard into the interview, preferably with one earring, but not both, or with a small nose ring.

        *= This can be replaced with a french drama, if that would be easier for you to find.
        "Darling, you are a bitch. I'm joining the Navy." -Cinema Guy 4/30/2009

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        • #5
          Quoth Broomjockey View Post
          You're the person who every time someone looks at a product with anything remotely resembling interest, you push the Apple lifestyle .
          I believe the colloquialism you are looking for is "recruiter"
          If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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