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So I had my first real pregnancy emotional crackup today, at 39 weeks. I mean, I got all weepy over an episode of Stargate a few months ago (and it wasn't even a good episode) but this was a real breakdown.
Mei (our cat) had a vet appointment at 9:30 this morning, I thought it would be best to have it over with before the baby came. We got her a new big (dog) carrier and Husband was going to help me get her in and go to the appointment with me. She'd been lying in it off and on all week so I thought it would be easy. Hah. She knew something was up just because he was still home, and when I picked her up she wigged out and dragged her claws across my throat (I look like the victim of a werewolf attack) and made me bleed all over my shirt. We chased her around the apartment for half an hour until finally it was 9:25 and I had to call the vet and cancel the appointment. I felt so awful doing that to them and so embarrassed I can't control my cat that I was almost crying in frustration. I think the girl could tell I was about to cry because she was really nice.
Anyway, after I hung up I started bawling for real. Can't she cooperate just once when I really need her to? I know she's anxious and upset but so am I, and I know she's an animal and her brain isn't complex enough to feel empathy but it doesn't seem fair after all we've done for her...so Husband had to sit with me for almost an hour while I sobbed. I just couldn't stop. Then he felt bad because he thinks he hasn't been around enough and I am feeling overwhelmed and scared (I am, but I know it's not his fault he has to work so much- he is a research scientist and works anywhere from 50 to 80 hours a week) and started crying and so I cried harder. He finally left for work at almost 10:30 (going in really late- he usually goes in at 7- for nothing, stupid cat) and I cried some more and fell asleep on the couch and woke up about 11:30 and I feel lousy because I had a bunch of stuff to do today and hadn't done any of it.
And now Mei keeps coming around rubbing my legs and I know it's not because she feels bad but because she wants my ham sandwich, so I am ignoring her. And I know she doesn't even understand why I am ignoring her because her memory is about 10 seconds but I can't even look at her right now I am so mad.
Bleah. What a pathetic mess this entire household is. I feel sorry for our kid.
Mei (our cat) had a vet appointment at 9:30 this morning, I thought it would be best to have it over with before the baby came. We got her a new big (dog) carrier and Husband was going to help me get her in and go to the appointment with me. She'd been lying in it off and on all week so I thought it would be easy. Hah. She knew something was up just because he was still home, and when I picked her up she wigged out and dragged her claws across my throat (I look like the victim of a werewolf attack) and made me bleed all over my shirt. We chased her around the apartment for half an hour until finally it was 9:25 and I had to call the vet and cancel the appointment. I felt so awful doing that to them and so embarrassed I can't control my cat that I was almost crying in frustration. I think the girl could tell I was about to cry because she was really nice.
Anyway, after I hung up I started bawling for real. Can't she cooperate just once when I really need her to? I know she's anxious and upset but so am I, and I know she's an animal and her brain isn't complex enough to feel empathy but it doesn't seem fair after all we've done for her...so Husband had to sit with me for almost an hour while I sobbed. I just couldn't stop. Then he felt bad because he thinks he hasn't been around enough and I am feeling overwhelmed and scared (I am, but I know it's not his fault he has to work so much- he is a research scientist and works anywhere from 50 to 80 hours a week) and started crying and so I cried harder. He finally left for work at almost 10:30 (going in really late- he usually goes in at 7- for nothing, stupid cat) and I cried some more and fell asleep on the couch and woke up about 11:30 and I feel lousy because I had a bunch of stuff to do today and hadn't done any of it.
And now Mei keeps coming around rubbing my legs and I know it's not because she feels bad but because she wants my ham sandwich, so I am ignoring her. And I know she doesn't even understand why I am ignoring her because her memory is about 10 seconds but I can't even look at her right now I am so mad.
Bleah. What a pathetic mess this entire household is. I feel sorry for our kid.
Sorry you had a rough day, and pregnancy hormones do make it worse (BTDT myself). Things will get better soon.
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