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Dear MIL (venting)
Dear, MIL,
I know you're hurting. Finding out that your father has cancer and has been given six months to live is devastating; you're not the only one having sleepless nights, teary pillows or stress. I feel like I've aged twenty years over the last three weeks and he's not even *my* blood... though it feels like now that I finally have a grandfather, I too am loosing him. And that kills me, MIL.
But you know what's not fair? You taking it out on your son. He doesn't call as much as he could because every time he does he gets his ass ripped anew. Grandma yells and cries because she a) hates me and thinks I keep him out here against his will. I'm abusive and mean, remember? b) she's losing her husband. c) she's losing her mother. d) she's losing her mind.
We're trying all we can to spend time with you guys... to be there when you need us; to do all we can to help out emotionally and financially. But we can't feed you and ourselves too. We can't hop on a plane and be there for the next six months as much as we'd love to. Not all of us have the liberty to quit our jobs and still have a roof over heads.
You're not the only one hurting.
Your mom is hurting. I'm hurting. Your children are suffering. More than anyone, I think your eldest is suffering and he won't tell a soul; I know it kills him, though. Grandpa was the father he's never had-- EVER will have because no matter how you and FIL want FIL to be accepted as Hub's father, you can't accept someone who is as old as your wife to be the man who raised him... especially when he didn't. -- Hubby won't tell me it hurts. He wont' admit it because he's too busy trying to hold it all in and be 'The Man'.
You're not here to see him fall into silence and his gaze turn inward. It is disturbing to see someone whose life is full of love and life be dull. He won't tell me what is wrong. He knows I cry a lot. In the bathroom, when I'm showering... in the other room when I think he's asleep. I feel like I have to do the crying for the both of us since he's too busy acting like its okay.
It kills him, MIL, when you accuse him of not giving a damn. You DON'T KNOW what we're doing for you guys; we've canceled our tickets to Orlando. We're driving to be with you. We're spending our long awaited honeymoon to be with the man he deems his father... but you wouldn't know that, not that we'd tell you. We don't want 'thank you's at all.. but whatever.
You wouldn't know anyway... because you're too busy being a selfish little bitch who thinks your FATHER HAVING CANCER IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
So.
Really.
Take a broom and shove it up your ass, sideways.
Sincerely,
Demise.
I know you're hurting. Finding out that your father has cancer and has been given six months to live is devastating; you're not the only one having sleepless nights, teary pillows or stress. I feel like I've aged twenty years over the last three weeks and he's not even *my* blood... though it feels like now that I finally have a grandfather, I too am loosing him. And that kills me, MIL.
But you know what's not fair? You taking it out on your son. He doesn't call as much as he could because every time he does he gets his ass ripped anew. Grandma yells and cries because she a) hates me and thinks I keep him out here against his will. I'm abusive and mean, remember? b) she's losing her husband. c) she's losing her mother. d) she's losing her mind.
We're trying all we can to spend time with you guys... to be there when you need us; to do all we can to help out emotionally and financially. But we can't feed you and ourselves too. We can't hop on a plane and be there for the next six months as much as we'd love to. Not all of us have the liberty to quit our jobs and still have a roof over heads.
You're not the only one hurting.
Your mom is hurting. I'm hurting. Your children are suffering. More than anyone, I think your eldest is suffering and he won't tell a soul; I know it kills him, though. Grandpa was the father he's never had-- EVER will have because no matter how you and FIL want FIL to be accepted as Hub's father, you can't accept someone who is as old as your wife to be the man who raised him... especially when he didn't. -- Hubby won't tell me it hurts. He wont' admit it because he's too busy trying to hold it all in and be 'The Man'.
You're not here to see him fall into silence and his gaze turn inward. It is disturbing to see someone whose life is full of love and life be dull. He won't tell me what is wrong. He knows I cry a lot. In the bathroom, when I'm showering... in the other room when I think he's asleep. I feel like I have to do the crying for the both of us since he's too busy acting like its okay.
It kills him, MIL, when you accuse him of not giving a damn. You DON'T KNOW what we're doing for you guys; we've canceled our tickets to Orlando. We're driving to be with you. We're spending our long awaited honeymoon to be with the man he deems his father... but you wouldn't know that, not that we'd tell you. We don't want 'thank you's at all.. but whatever.
You wouldn't know anyway... because you're too busy being a selfish little bitch who thinks your FATHER HAVING CANCER IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
So.
Really.
Take a broom and shove it up your ass, sideways.
Sincerely,
Demise.
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