After the last few weeks, I'm just emotionally drained. I've been crying a lot and the stress hasn't been able to let me REST (even though I sleep up to 20 hours on my days off! Yikes, totally unhealthy!). Work sucks. Life sucks. I feel inspired to write but when I hit the computer my mind wonders and I end up watching youtube videos.
I don't drink. I don't smoke. Gods know that even if I had friends who could help me score me some magic oregano i'd be too fucking paranoid to take a hit.. Lately, I've gone out of my way to be a good human being and attempted to let my vices lay undisturbed...
Until last night.
I ended up with one caller that got me SO PISSED that I was literally shaking for a good hour and a half after I had finally clocked out of work.
I said 'fuck being a good girl, I'm spoiling myself today'.
...
So I bought me myself a pack of capris (Menthol 120s, sweet release!) and today I said 'fuck it again' and bought myself an eight pack of Guinness.
Nothing relaxes me more than a good cigarette and an ice cold fucking beer.
For the first time in weeks I haven't shed a tear, felt like screaming or just... felt.. like exploding in any way.
And what makes it even better?
The Big Lebowsky.
PS: I won't be smoking again like I once used to and I won't be drinking like a fish either. Its like my 'I shall do this before my gasket finally craps out for good' catharsis.
I don't drink. I don't smoke. Gods know that even if I had friends who could help me score me some magic oregano i'd be too fucking paranoid to take a hit.. Lately, I've gone out of my way to be a good human being and attempted to let my vices lay undisturbed...
Until last night.
I ended up with one caller that got me SO PISSED that I was literally shaking for a good hour and a half after I had finally clocked out of work.
I said 'fuck being a good girl, I'm spoiling myself today'.
...
So I bought me myself a pack of capris (Menthol 120s, sweet release!) and today I said 'fuck it again' and bought myself an eight pack of Guinness.
Nothing relaxes me more than a good cigarette and an ice cold fucking beer.
For the first time in weeks I haven't shed a tear, felt like screaming or just... felt.. like exploding in any way.
And what makes it even better?
The Big Lebowsky.
PS: I won't be smoking again like I once used to and I won't be drinking like a fish either. Its like my 'I shall do this before my gasket finally craps out for good' catharsis.


)
I AM the evil bastard!

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