How to freak out a stranger..

[lush]

I was starting my morning the other day with worming the new kitten (roomie's), so I get the syringe all ready and there's a knock on my door, so I go answer it. Not thinking to put the syringe down..

There I am syringe in hand, and some woman I don't know pretty much jumps off my porch with "Oh sorry! Wrong house!" and she hurries away..

[Soulstealer]

Worst pizza tip ever.

[draggar]

*lol* That's great. I think it's a great way to get rid of unwanted "guests".

[lush]

*lol* That's great. I think it's a great way to get rid of unwanted "guests".

Now that you got me thinking about it... certain bicycle riding religion pushers... The only way it could be better is if I would have still been filling the syringe..

[BookstoreEscapee]

Worst pizza tip ever.

I dunno...some people would go for it. I figure the worst was the nearly-dead baby mouse on a paper plate I once answered the door with. The pizza guy looked a tad disconcerted by that...

[Jack T. Chance]

I dunno...some people would go for it. I figure the worst was the nearly-dead baby mouse on a paper plate I once answered the door with. The pizza guy looked a tad disconcerted by that...

He was probably wondering if, underneath your normal, human-looking facade, there wasn't really a reptilian, extraterrestrial Visitor.

[BookstoreEscapee]

He was probably wondering if, underneath your normal, human-looking facade, there wasn't really a reptilian, extraterrestrial Visitor.

I shoulda told him it was my appetizer and did he want the last one?

[Jester]

I am a little hazy on this, but I think I actually met one of my teenage niece's boyfriends with a knife in my hand. The details aren't clear, but if I do remember correctly, he was certainly taken aback by "Uncle" waving around a really large chef's knife in the air. (I forgot I had it in my hand.) This was after my niece had told him that her uncle was "psychotic."

[Misanthropical]

When I was pregnant with the little guy I wasn't the nicest person on the planet if you know what I mean.

Anyway, when I was about 8 months along I answered the door to a whole group of religious types. The guy asked me when I was due and if I knew what the baby was. I told him it didn't matter since the baby was going to be used in a sacrifice. They couldn't get away from me fast enough! They never knocked on my door again.

I have a knack for freaking people out who come to our house uninvited.

[lush]

Jester, that reminds me of the other day..

I brought home my dad's tools he had for my son, part of them included a machete and a super huge mag-lite. I picked them both up to put them away, but apparently the look I had scared her, after she asked wtf I was doing she laughed and wished she had gotten a picture.

[Chazzie]

The guy asked me when I was due and if I knew what the baby was.

Maybe it's just me, but instead of thinking "boy or girl", that line just made me laugh. I'd probably answer that I was pretty sure it was some kind of goat, but until it was born I would never be too sure.

Either that or walk them through the "Well when a man loves a woman" speech.

[Soulstealer]

Either that or walk them through the "Well when a man loves a woman" speech.

When a man loves a woman... well they don't actually have to be in love or know each other for more than a few minutes, it helps if they're drunk. Anyway have you watched porn videos? Those are pretty instructive of the basic mechanics, just remember babies won't be made if the penis doesn't go in the right slot.

[Jester]

I told him it didn't matter since the baby was going to be used in a sacrifice.

I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating:

Mis, you are just FULL of win!

[Misanthropical]

Aww, Jester, you made me blush!