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It's been a strange week. How strange? The swingers convention is in town and had an event at The Bar. My girlfriend sent me a text asking if I would go to couples therapy with her, even though our biggest problem is geography (she's in Arizona, I'm in Florida), and if I were able to attend couples therapy with her, our biggest problem wouldn't exist. And my roommate Tools is in the hospital for pneumonia. And these are not the things I am going to discuss in this post!
Shark Attack(ed)
Our local paper runs a "crime report," sometimes mundane, sometimes amusing. But a few days ago the report was just off the wall. It seems that a guy pushed another guy down on Duval Street and ran off. This in itself is not that noteworthy. Duval Street is our main drag where all the bars are, and drunken incidents like this are a dime a dozen. Other than the fact that the assaulter was wearing a grass skirt and a coconut bra. And the victim was wearing a shark suit. Now, I should point out two things here: 1. In Key West, we have many events for which people dress up in various crazy costumes. 2. This week was not one of them. Heck, it's Sleeptember, our slowest time of the year. Even for Key West, this was rather bizarre.
As of press time, the local constabulary had neither identified or apprehended the coconut bra-wearing suspect. Possibly they were too busy asking for a raise in the raise they had already asked for. Or perhaps occupied with threatening to arrest a woman for violating the restraining order she had taken out against her ex-husband, even though it is a legal impossibility to violate one's own restraining order. Maybe they were gossiping about the cop who did not press charges against the guy who stole his pickup truck, complete with badge, ID, and gun within, perhaps due to a romantic/sexual relationship between the two men. (I really wish I could make this stuff up.)
Twist My Arm!
Normally I don't work Sundays. They are My Day Off. Have been for years. Especially during football season in the falls, as I love watching the games. I have friends who think I should work football Sundays, as I "could make lots of money AND watch the games." They are only half correct. If it's busy enough for me to make money (which it usually is), it is virtually impossible for me to watch the games. And if I am able to watch the games, it means we are not all that busy and I am not, in fact, making money. Besides, I love leisurely watching the games while drinking copious amounts of beer. Beer and football, the American way of life, right?
However, as a favor to my management, last Sunday I did work a night shift. No big deal, it was the Sunday before the NFL season officially got under way. And at this time of year, any extra money is good. So I was looking forward to this Sunday (yesterday), to relaxing and drinking beer and watching the games. So you can understand my concern when Boss Man walked up to me on Tuesday and said, "Jester, I need to ask you a favor." Oh, shit. This is going to be something to do with Sunday. SHIT!
As it turns out, I was right, but it was not a bad thing. This Sunday, for the season opening football Sunday, The Bar was putting on a tailgate party from ten till noon, giving away beer and shots for free. See, in Key West, you cannot legally sell alcohol before noon on Sundays. However, it is perfectly legal to GIVE it away. So Boss Man wanted me to be the one manning said tailgate party, pouring beer and shots for those who showed up. He said he would pay me cash. And I could drink. All I had to do was show up slightly beforehand, help set it all up, serve (and drink) for two hours, then break down, and I could go. He wanted me to do this because, among other things, he knew I would card hard anyone who was of questionable age, and would have no problem keeping the bums away, though they can smell free beer a mile away.
In essence, he was offering to pay me to drink. And I wouldn't even miss any football, as the first games started at 1. Other than waking up earlier than I normally would on a Sunday, there was no downside to this!
So yesterday was entertaining, as I did just that....showed up, helped set up, served the masses beer and shots, had several beers myself (and had two shots forced upon me), and had a blast....and between what the Boss Man paid me and the various tips people gave me, I made about a hundred bucks. While drinking.
Have I mentioned how much I love my job?
Shark Attack(ed)
Our local paper runs a "crime report," sometimes mundane, sometimes amusing. But a few days ago the report was just off the wall. It seems that a guy pushed another guy down on Duval Street and ran off. This in itself is not that noteworthy. Duval Street is our main drag where all the bars are, and drunken incidents like this are a dime a dozen. Other than the fact that the assaulter was wearing a grass skirt and a coconut bra. And the victim was wearing a shark suit. Now, I should point out two things here: 1. In Key West, we have many events for which people dress up in various crazy costumes. 2. This week was not one of them. Heck, it's Sleeptember, our slowest time of the year. Even for Key West, this was rather bizarre.
As of press time, the local constabulary had neither identified or apprehended the coconut bra-wearing suspect. Possibly they were too busy asking for a raise in the raise they had already asked for. Or perhaps occupied with threatening to arrest a woman for violating the restraining order she had taken out against her ex-husband, even though it is a legal impossibility to violate one's own restraining order. Maybe they were gossiping about the cop who did not press charges against the guy who stole his pickup truck, complete with badge, ID, and gun within, perhaps due to a romantic/sexual relationship between the two men. (I really wish I could make this stuff up.)
Twist My Arm!
Normally I don't work Sundays. They are My Day Off. Have been for years. Especially during football season in the falls, as I love watching the games. I have friends who think I should work football Sundays, as I "could make lots of money AND watch the games." They are only half correct. If it's busy enough for me to make money (which it usually is), it is virtually impossible for me to watch the games. And if I am able to watch the games, it means we are not all that busy and I am not, in fact, making money. Besides, I love leisurely watching the games while drinking copious amounts of beer. Beer and football, the American way of life, right?
However, as a favor to my management, last Sunday I did work a night shift. No big deal, it was the Sunday before the NFL season officially got under way. And at this time of year, any extra money is good. So I was looking forward to this Sunday (yesterday), to relaxing and drinking beer and watching the games. So you can understand my concern when Boss Man walked up to me on Tuesday and said, "Jester, I need to ask you a favor." Oh, shit. This is going to be something to do with Sunday. SHIT!
As it turns out, I was right, but it was not a bad thing. This Sunday, for the season opening football Sunday, The Bar was putting on a tailgate party from ten till noon, giving away beer and shots for free. See, in Key West, you cannot legally sell alcohol before noon on Sundays. However, it is perfectly legal to GIVE it away. So Boss Man wanted me to be the one manning said tailgate party, pouring beer and shots for those who showed up. He said he would pay me cash. And I could drink. All I had to do was show up slightly beforehand, help set it all up, serve (and drink) for two hours, then break down, and I could go. He wanted me to do this because, among other things, he knew I would card hard anyone who was of questionable age, and would have no problem keeping the bums away, though they can smell free beer a mile away.
In essence, he was offering to pay me to drink. And I wouldn't even miss any football, as the first games started at 1. Other than waking up earlier than I normally would on a Sunday, there was no downside to this!
So yesterday was entertaining, as I did just that....showed up, helped set up, served the masses beer and shots, had several beers myself (and had two shots forced upon me), and had a blast....and between what the Boss Man paid me and the various tips people gave me, I made about a hundred bucks. While drinking.
Have I mentioned how much I love my job?