Fifth Grader, nothing. I'm not even smarter than CHEESE!

[Jester]

I eat sandwiches often, both because I like them and because it's economical. I often go to one of the local supermarkets for my luncheon meat, because their deli rocks. I almost always get my favorite pastrami, ham, and swiss cheese there.

The problem I've found recently is that almost inevitably, after a few sandwiches, I'll have run through the pastrami and ham, and still have leftover swiss. Now, I like swiss, especially this swiss, so I don't mind munching on it on its own, but I don't always want to. I had noticed, though, that lately I tend to use half of each purchase of luncheon meat per sandwich. Basically, a quarter pound of meat per sandwich. And I'd also found that four pieces of swiss seemed to fit perfectly with that amount. So the other day, when I went to the deli, I ordered the meat the usual way (a half pound each), but ordered the swiss cheese not by weight, but by quantity: 16 pieces, for four tasty sandwiches. Because, you know, I am bright like that. Right? Au contraire, mon frer!

Because just today, as I am making the first of these sandwiches, as I am putting the cheese on....one slice JUMPS out of my hand and swan dives down to the floor!



Now, I may not be Mr. Germophobic, but I am certainly NOT eating anything that hits the floor. Especially our kitchen floor. It is not filthy or anything, but we do not exactly mop regularly, and.....well, just no. Absolutely not.

So I pitch that slice of cheese, add one more to complete my sandwich, and enjoy my lunch, but the entire time I am thinking just one sad, sad thing: one of my sandwiches is going to be short one slice of cheese.

I have been outsmarted by cheese. Oh, the humanity!



(Yes, it's a slow day. Sue me.)

[poofy_puff]

See if you had cats, you wouldn't have to waste the cheese, you could just let the cats have it. A dog works just as well if not better. Depends on your lifestyle.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I've thought of doing that...I like turkey with provolone, but I never buy more than 1/3 of a pound of turkey at a time because after 2-3 sandwiches I get tired of it. But even just 1/4 pound of cheese is too much. Maybe next time I should just ask for 4 or 6 slices instead.

See if you had cats, you wouldn't have to waste the cheese, you could just let the cats have it. A dog works just as well if not better. Depends on your lifestyle.

My girlcat loves cheese. Expecially chunks of parmesan.

My dog growing up loved American cheese...we'd break off small pieces and she'd sit and wait for us to throw them. Caught 'em almost every time.

[poofy_puff]

My girlcat loves cheese. Expecially chunks of parmesan.

Indeed! I have so many cats that if you leave ANYthing laying around long enough, it gets ingested.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Indeed! I have so many cats that if you leave ANYthing laying around long enough, it gets ingested.

My cats are picky. Boy doesn't really eat people food, at all, but girl likes certain things. We used to give her peas and she would play with them for a bit before eating them, but she's not even interested in those anymore. And when she does get cheese she's still rather wary (she also has to knock it down from wherever it is before she'll eat it - we'll put stuff on the edge of the table and she'll reach up and swat it down ... too cute ).

[poofy_puff]

My cats are picky. Boy doesn't really eat people food, at all, but girl likes certain things. We used to give her peas and she would play with them for a bit before eating them, but she's not even interested in those anymore.

There's only one thing that will fix that: MORE CATS!

ETA: All my cats are spayed and neutered and are either former strays from the yard or are ferals from my rescue league.

[BookstoreEscapee]

There's only one thing that will fix that: MORE CATS!

Yeah, don't think my dad would go for that...

Yesterday they got their friends' Border Collie mix who they will be dogsitting for the next 2-3 weeks.

[Jester]

See if you had cats, you wouldn't have to waste the cheese, you could just let the cats have it. A dog works just as well if not better. Depends on your lifestyle.

But even if I had cats or dogs, and the cheese didn't go to waste, the one problem still stands: I am going to have a sandwich that is short on cheese!

Maybe next time I should just ask for 4 or 6 slices instead.

You should. What's the worst they can do--look at you funny? For the record, the grumpy deli guy who waited on me didn't even bat an eye when I asked for a particular number of slices, rather than a weight. Apparently this is nothing new. That, or he just didn't give a crap.

[BookstoreEscapee]

But even if I had cats or dogs, and the cheese didn't go to waste, the one problem still stands: I am going to have a sandwich that is short on cheese!

Next time get an extra slice...and if you don't drop it or use it, throw it on the floor in anger...and then you won't be able to use it anyway and you'll be even.

[poofy_puff]

But even if I had cats or dogs, and the cheese didn't go to waste, the one problem still stands: I am going to have a sandwich that is short on cheese!

I can't help you with that - I can only make cheese disappear, I cannot make cheese happen where there was cheese before but not anymore!

I can get you a glass of wine with it, but you already have that covered.

[sms001]

Well. Apparently firsting the "I would have eaten the floor slice." But I don't have roommates, etc.

Failing that, in some bizarre twist of some obscure brainwashing of my mother's, I would have eaten the current sandwich sans cheese, giving myself the complete, whole, delicious WITH cheese sandwiches to look forward to.

Good call on the by-the-slice. I never minded it as a deli person - just asked how thick or thin. Since the scale prints a barcode for whatever weight is on it, slices are actually EASIER than weight. Wished more people with small orders would do it that way.

Jester, I'm very happy for you. When the postable drama in your life is dropping a slice of cheese, life is full of win.

[ArcticChicken]

Well. Apparently firsting the "I would have eaten the floor slice." But I don't have roommates, etc.

Failing that, in some bizarre twist of some obscure brainwashing of my mother's, I would have eaten the current sandwich sans cheese, giving myself the complete, whole, delicious WITH cheese sandwiches to look forward to.

Are you, by any chance, my good twin?

[Bella_Vixen]

For the record, the grumpy deli guy who waited on me didn't even bat an eye when I asked for a particular number of slices, rather than a weight. Apparently this is nothing new. That, or he just didn't give a crap.

From my small amount of experience working in the deli at work (4 days @6 hrs/day), I'm gonna have to say....both.

[Barracuda]

I have an idea. When you get to the last sandwich that will be short on cheese, toast the sandwich, and melt the cheese. Cheese tends to stretch out when melted, hence it will probably cover the whole sandwich if you put it in the middle before you toast it. Voila!

[Jester]

I can get you a glass of wine with it, but you already have that covered.

Why yes...yes I do. While I normally talk about my affinity for beer and rum, I do love my wine. Though I wouldn't know quite how to choose which one would go with pastrami and swiss on rye!

Well. Apparently firsting the "I would have eaten the floor slice." But I don't have roommates, etc.

You also don't have my kitchen floor.

Don't get me wrong, it's not filthy. But is certainly not pristine, and to the point where even I, who will eat some questionable things, could not even think about eating the floor cheese in question.

When the postable drama in your life is dropping a slice of cheese, life is full of win.

Agreed, agreed, and thoroughly agreed!

I have an idea. When you get to the last sandwich that will be short on cheese, toast the sandwich, and melt the cheese.

Great idea....except for the problem that I really don't like my rye bread toasted.