Am I a bad patient (Rant/advice)

[Midnight12]

First of all, considering my history with doctors and personal preference on wanting a female doctor that may have a part to play in this. Second I have tried very hard to remain impartial or at least hold my tongue.

Been going to my ob/gyn since i found out I was pregnant. Sought her out through the list of who insurance covers. Some of the people if not half on the list of phone numbers were no longer around or said number was disconnected. (thats another rant for insurance not keeping updated info)
So I went with my current dr, who is a bit out of the way but very worthwhile.

Well the last two months I've been to see her every two weeks as this is the third trimester. Here is where I am bothered.
I show up early (maybe ten to 15 minutes) get checked in get seated. The wait to be called back varies but that is never really a problem. Get called back go through the usual check weight vitals and all that with the nurse then get put in a room.
Its the wait in a room that bothers me, I end up sitting there sometimes to over an hour. And the way the building is set up is that it is shared by several different dr's some for ob/gyn some for general practice. so the one section i'm in is a short hallway with about four or five rooms. So every time someone is put in a room I can hear people walking down the hall, doors opening or closing.

Here is the issue. I feel that once I get put in the room she skips me over a few people, I know because I can hear people that came in after me being put in rooms and hear her greeting them first. I started thinking is it me, my general appearance do I smell am I unpleasant to be around what did I DO? And when she does come in I see her MAYBE for ten minutes, general check through and i'm done. I started thinking what was the point beyond making sure if you're not even going to give me the time of day.

Before going off please, I DO understand all doctors offices are BUSY almost all the time and there WILL be a wait. A wait to get called back and a wait to see the dr.
However its been like this just about every appointment. It takes me often up to two hours total just to get to see her and half the time I feel she is just going in to get me out of the room. The last appointment she barely said anything beyond general politeness. Yet when I pay attention I can her her chatting it up with the other patient(s) from the next room....
The nurses are nice I don't fuss much I answer all their questions and keep it short. If there is any unusual pain or anything unusual period I make a note of it or even call for info.
Am I that bad of a patient? help

[BethB]

You are not a bad patient. Your doctor is not a caring doctor. I've worked in a doc's office and I know it can be busy but all doctors should care about the well-being of their patients regardless of time. And with you being pregnant makes it worse. If you have any concerns at all, he/she should take the time after all the measurements and heartbeats to address them all. Even if it's the fact that you can't stand the smell of tomatoes(silly, I know). I would see if you can address this at the next appointment and stand firm. YOU are just as important as everyone else your doc chats up. If that won't work, it may be time to find another doc or even a midwife(if there's time and insurance allows)

[HYHYBT]

One consideration: doctors' offices do not necessarily run on first-come, first-served. Many will take someone who is, for example, vomiting right away and get them out of there again, leaving those who are just in for a check-up to wait. Not that likely at a specialist, and especially since you've apparently had it happen more than once, but it still needs to be pointed out.

[TOLady]

You're definitely not being sucky!

You're health and the health of your baby (congrats! btw) is paramount!

If you feel uncomfortable around your dr. you're not doing yourself any favours by sticking with them. They are not gods, as much as many like to think they are.

I've gone through something similar - can't have kiddies. I've waited to see him for over an hour and a half, even though I had called the receptionist to find out how far behind he is and after waiting in the examination room again for at least 45 minutes, have to go through - again! - exactly why I'm seeing him and have him ignore my questions and concerns. He was my surgeon FGS, and I still have to go over all my symptoms. He takes at least 15 minutes between patients, can't he at least skim the basics of my file in that time?

I recently decided to seek my medical advice elsewhere, and although my appointment with a new obgyn isn't until January 7th, I have been assured that she is most excellent in bedside manner.

My life and health is far too important to risk not being paid attention to.

Best wishes for an easy and happy deliver!

Sorry for the rant. 3 Years of being ignored gets me a wee bit angry!

[BookstoreEscapee]

I would mention the wait times and the fact that you feel you are being rushed out (you might want to try to talk to the office manager or whoever is in charge of scheduling). Of course things will happen sometimes that throw off their schedule, but if it's happening every time it is perfectly reasonable to speak up.

Question: have your appointments generally been around the same time of day (later in the day)? The more appointments before you, the more chances of something going wrong that will screw up their schedule. If you can get in first thing in the morning or right after lunch, you may have less of a wait, since things haven't had a chance to build up and push all the later appointments back. Also, if there are things you want to make sure she addresses, write them down and bring the list in with you, so you can make sure you don't forget anything.

Also, when all else fails, bring a book.

[Midnight12]

TOLady- I know health is important and up until recently she's been nice and asked if there is any pain or anything unusual. So far nothing besides the fact everything feels squished and I feel cramped around the rib cage and loathe my bras.
As of late she brings in my file skims it and does the usual check for heartbeat and asks nothing unusual?

HYHYBT/BethB - I know, the more sick a person is the quicker they get attention. The build is somewhat split into two sections one for general practice and one for pregnant women but in the main waiting room its sit on one side for general doctors, and the other for ob/gyn / prenatal care. and i recognize some of the voices of the women who come in waaay after me who got called back just minutes before when I've been sitting there for some time in the room.
There have been a few issues where people's appointments have had to be reschedules that day because the dr could not come in. I knew that meant one of her patients went into labor. but usually they call people instead of waiting to tell us until we get in

Dr M (my doc) seems distracted lately. not horribly so but to the point its noticeable just a bit. It may be the two new nurses because i've been asked three separate times now if i had my flu shot or taken this last test yet. I finally asked in return "have you LOOKED at my chart yet?" because the answers are all there.

BookstoreEscapee - I've been bringing a book every time to deal with the wait.
Its four weeks away until due date so...kind of a bit late to change - in my opinion - and I still feel comfortable enough with this doctor to at least have her deliver me. The appointments have ranged from in the morning to close to 11am on either a wednesday or thursday. ultrasounds are tuesday or thursday but my last one was supposedly the final one for now.


past that I am looking for a pediatrician close to home. Next appointment is the 23rd and not looking forward to it. When I think about it, the entire office makes me uncomfortable.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Dr M (my doc) seems distracted lately. not horribly so but to the point its noticeable just a bit.

That's something worth bringing up, too. If there is something going on that's causing her to be distracted, she might not realize it's affecting her patients, but she should be made aware.

[Midnight12]

That's something worth bringing up, too. If there is something going on that's causing her to be distracted, she might not realize it's affecting her patients, but she should be made aware.

I've been told I'm too nice for my own good as in not pointing out things that annoy me and just put up with it. I'll bring it up at the next appointment and have be there for encouragement as I'm just so hesitant to complain.

[TOLady]

Don't forget to note things down and bring your list with you if you're nervous about bringing up your concerns at your next appointment. Keeps you from getting flustered.

I've found it quite useful for all my doctors.

Best of luck and keep us posted - especially when the bundle of joy arrives!!!

Babieeees!!!

[Kiwi]

This is just me, I am a fairly blunt/to the point person. I would be asking if there was something wrong because I feel that I am being ignored and not recieving proper treatement. I would say what you are feeling outloud, that you feel you are being passed over or placated to just get you out the door.
You don't have to say it in a threatening way, you don't have to say it in a rude way but if you don't express your concern that something is wrong she might have no idea how your feeling. She can't fix or change anything if she doesn't know something is wrong.

Give her the benefit of the doubt that she generally doesn't notice shes treating you differently and give her a chance to change it. If she doesn't change then you have your answer and you can actively search for another doctor.

I agree with ToLady, take a list of everything that is concerning you and don't let her rush you out the door.

[trailerparkmedic]

Playing devil's advocate for a minute... sounds like your pregnancy is going well with no complications (yay!). The doctor is going to spend less time with you vs. patients who have a history of weird things or who have weird things going on. This doesn't necessarily make up for more small talk with other people, but if the other people are getting examined during the small talk, maybe that's an explanation?

However, you should be happy with your doctor. Be proactive and advocate for yourself--tell the doctor what you expect. I also like the idea of writing down a list of questions/issues/etc to bring up with the doctor when you see her.

[Midnight12]

oh yes, will do so. have written down concerns.
now....if only the mechanic will get back with us on the van so I will know if I need to find a ride.
thank you again for all the advice!

*has to laugh at TOLady's post...babieeeess*

[BookstoreEscapee]

I've been told I'm too nice for my own good as in not pointing out things that annoy me and just put up with it. I'll bring it up at the next appointment and have be there for encouragement as I'm just so hesitant to complain.

I am the same way...but when it comes to your health, you need to speak up for yourself. You are paying her for her time (as short as it is), you deserve her attention during that time. I was reading something recently about how to get the best treatment from your doctor, and one of the things one of the doctors they spoke to said was along the lines of "Don't apologize for asking questions or 'bothering' the doctor...that's what you're paying them for."

[Midnight12]

UPDATES!

Spent a little longer in the office but most of it was in the back waiting room waiting for an exam room to open. She was busy today.
Turns out my doctor has been busy not just with her patients but with her own life and kids. One of her kids was really sick and she was just super worried.
I DID address my concerns with her today and she did apologize. So I've been being paranoid but I feel alot better knowing whats going on.

however I now have to get rides up until monday because of the damn mechanic.