If thats how you want it thats fine

[Sliceanddice]

OK this is long and whiney but i have to write this so please bare with me.

on black friday i went to the store and for my mom i bought some items two of which where DVDs. I dont want to debated about how awesome these movies are so im going to call them Movie A and Movie.

Now Movie A we all love and would make a good present to all of us. Movie B i'm pretty sure only my mom and sister would appericate. I personally wouldn't have gotten it if my sister hadn't grabbed it.

flash to later and we are wrapping gifts. well actually i am a glorified fetching girl because my sister doesn't trust me to wrap and my hand writing sucks.
we are talking about these movies deciding who they should be made out too.
I say Movie B should defiantly go to Sister and you can give Movie A to either me or Brother because we both liked it. I don't care if you give it to me or not.
We then discuss whether my brother would indeed like Movie A and i say well he saw it four times he should.
now they are mostly talking among them selves and beyond please get the tags and can you move X so we can put somethign there im not involved.
Until they are talking about my moms gift to sister (well actually it started out what mom wanted then moved to her joking about what she was getting) and mom said i dont know what im getting you yet.

i stop and turn around and say i though you where giving her Movie B
she says no.
I said well.... just so you know i have no desire to own Movie B and do not want it at all.
They both look at each other then look at me.
Then my brain to mouth filter failed.
I said 'Again?'
bad move.

You see a few years ago some one from my immediate family got me oceans twelve for Christmas. I had never seen Oceans Eleven, didnt want to see and thought it looked stupid. Seeing bits and pieces on tv have confirmed this assumpition. I had said at the time that i didnt understand why they thought i would want it seeing as i rabidly insulted the first movie.

and i basically said when my mother said what that this is another christmas with me getting something i dont want but someone else does.
which caused her to get upset and storm out of the room and not talk to me for a few hours and my sister to call me a snippy bitch.

heres the thing.
this christmas i dont want or need much.
my sister is getting two of the things i want.
my dad is getting me a book i want.
i wasn't expecting much of anything from my mother.
if i got nothing i would be ok because she bought a new TV for the family for christmas.
but the fact im getting a gift that i dont want because someone else wanted upsets me.
and the fact that if i say anything or dont agree with this im called a bitch or a brat. even though my brother and sister are worst.
im always the bitch or the brat, and a few times the stupid one (because unlike them im not a certifiable genius and my brain works differently[example- thanksgiving. My mom and sister discuss what we'll do in the same room im in but the only time im involved to comment about a cousin who was horrible to me when i was younger. basically i think they are just talking and dont pay attention much like my mother does when me and sister talk about or argue over stupid things. then im treated stupid for not knowing right away that we decide to go to my uncles. and when his wife calls and talks to my mom and stupid for not know that that was her offically inviting us.)
and i cant saything about this or im harping. or the above again.
it basically seems to me that my mother whats this from me-

Hi how was work to day ok whats for dinner ill get started ok.

no substance nothing that might upset her just boring pleasentries.

this is why ive never come out and this why on christmas ill fake a smile and put my new movie on the shelf and forget it.

honestly i wish i could talk them about this with out being yelled at and im sick and tired of being the outcast.

[RootedPhoenix]

No great advice, but, *offers hugs and chocolate*. I'm sorry they're like that, because that would be very frustrating to me.

[strawbabies]

What are they smoking that makes them think it's ok to give you something everyone knows darn well you don't want, and expect you to be all right with it? They sound completely irrational--and selfish. You just don't buy something that you want for yourself and pass it off as a gift to someone else. If they wanted the freakin' movie, why didn't they just purchase it and add it to the family movie collection?

BTW, I wouldn't want those movies either. The original Ocean's Eleven with the Rat Pack, is an awesome movie, though.

[Broomjockey]

You know what? In this case, I wouldn't smile and take it. On the day, if I unwrapped it and it was that movie, I'd toss it to sis and say "sorry, this was mislabelled, it's obviously for you. Sorry it's unwrapped." Maybe this is my own fucked-up family dynamic talking, but screw "going along to get along." You're not going to get any respect, probably ever from her, so start doing things how you want to do them.

[Nurian]

I wish I could help. Myself, I would have broken ties with the lot of them if this is what is considered "normal".

[Plaidman]

Sorry I can't help, but lots of hugs. They are in the wrong. I guess I can see their sick twisted version of they gave you a gift and it should be the thought that counts.

Naturally since they are getting what they want, they won't bitch.


Personally, if I knew what I was getting ahead of time and not wanting it, and letting them know that, and they treated me like I was a bitch, I'd get presents for them they wouldn't want. Like say dog food. (assuming one doesn't have a dog). A globe of the world. A bundle of grass. (Not the illegal kind ether).

That would teach them.

[Taboo]

I'm sorry. That's really mean of them. I agree with saying it's clearly mislabeled.

My father and I spent Christmas two years ago with the extended family. He spent months researching what my cousins, aunt, uncle, etc would like. Seriously hundreds of dollars on each worth of things like fancy GPS's etc. I got everyone more modest presents but put thought into all of them.

For me? A box of dollar store candy from the extended family containing peanuts, which I am so allergic to that opening that box and even touching any of it would have landed me in the hospital if not killed me. I've been allergic since birth and they all know it. From my father, nothing.

So the next year I gave him a book about how to reconnect with your adult child when you've been a shitty parent for most of their life.

The expressions on his face and his parents' faces when he unwrapped it were so worth it.

[BlaqueKatt]

So the next year I gave him a book about how to reconnect with your adult child when you've been a shitty parent for most of their life.

The expressions on his face and his parents' faces when he unwrapped it were so worth it.

that is awesome....sometimes being passive-aggressive can be worth it....