What part of "I don't drink alcohol" do you not understand?

[Stormraven]

Yes, but that does not mean you can no longer drink ever. Not saying you should, just saying that the reaction the next day is somewhat normal, and I've gone through it before myself, where the next day I just could not drink. Perfect example was the day after my 21st birthday party (as differentiated from my 21st birthday, which was a week earlier). The next day, I was out at a bar with my buddy, and I just could NOT drink. I nursed one drink for about an hour and a half, and that was the only drink I ordered that night.

And I have that happen since, from time to time, where my body simply said, "Uh, dude? HELL no. Not today. Fuck off."

Oh, I know. And I knew then. I tried more times, but even now, 21 or so years later, I get the same reaction. It's a little muted, but still there. When my body decides to protect me, it doesn't play around.

[morgana]

I'm not much of a drinker, either. (As in, maybe three or four drinks a year.) Only ever had one person give me grief about it. A lot of grief about it, stupid ass. I must have hit him just right, 'cause he proceeded to bazooka-barf. And, yes, I managed to get out of the way.

I'm a bad person.

But, seriously, Draggar, I think you need to sit your wife down and ask her Jester's question: What in Zeus' butthole has gotten into her? That's sucky behavior, especially from a spouse.

[protege]

Should mention that I've only been smashed once. Last summer, during vacation...booze was consumed. What can I say, other than it was the last night, and some of us got a bit tipsy. Of course, it didn't help that we were playing RISK drinking game, and then another game involving events in Spaceballs. Good thing the hallway back to the bedroom was narrow Yet, when I got up the next morning...I was fine.

[JoitheArtist]

Funny thing for me: I actually enjoy drinking quite a bit, but will often have stretches of a month or more when I just don't want alcohol. Confuses people sometimes, but no-one really gives me a hard time about it, thankfully. Except my parents, oddly enough, who sometimes push me a little harder. Go figure, huh?


Oooh, just remembered, I have my book club meeting tonight, and that means sherry! Yum!

[Seshat]

Trust me, you wouldn't need to. While much of my humor is often subtle, this one is not....because I could not afford for it TO be subtle. It is over the top, in your face, obviously a joke. Again, it is more a visual thing, and hard to explain, but I have never had any problems with it.

Then we'd be fine.

[jedimaster91]

I've only ever had one person give me a hard time about not drinking. My Nuclear Med class attended a conference in New Orleans and a couple of the vendors threw parties with open bars. I get tired of always drinking water, so I'd had several Shirley Temples at this particular shindig. The bartender kept asking me why I didn't want actual booze and I kept telling him I just didn't. He told me he'd have me doing shots by the end of the night. I told him not likely and went to the other bartender for my next drink.

My friends and neighbors are all fine with me not drinking. One of my classmates on that same trip bought a banana daquiri and told me she wasn't even going to off me a sip because I don't drink and I shouldn't start. The neighbors offer me margaritas on occasion and don't get all snippy when I tell them no thanks. Honestly, one margarita would probaby put me under the table anyway.

[Bright_Star]

I don't drink at all & if someone has a problem with me not drinking then that's their problem, not mine. NOBODY should have to defend their position on if they choose not to drink.
I don't drink cause I never developed a taste for it. Not my cup of tea.

[KiaKat]

Believe it or not, one part of the Master Sommelier training is how to graciously offer a wine list, and how to graciously accept a negative response. Part of being a professional in alcohol service is knowing the difference between a polite decline and a deferral, and knowing how to handle both. If alcohol is declined on the first asking, one should not ask again, nor should one ask the reason. That is entirely the customer's business. If the customer asks later for a drink, one does not ask if the customer is "sure," but simply retrieves the drink.

I honestly can't grasp why anyone would push someone into drinking. While I personally enjoy it, I also enjoy hurling myself down a mountain strapped to a pair of boards.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I am a great lover of the grape and the barley. I like to drink. I like to be drunk. I am well known as a someone who likes to do some drinking.

However, I probably don't drink more often than I actually do, for a variety of reasons, none of which I feel any need to justify.

Want to get thrown out of my house or get banned from my group's parties? Give someone a hard time about their drinking choices or drink irresponsibly. You'll hit the curb so fast you'll leave a smoke trail and a skid mark.

[Broomjockey]

a skid mark.

I've left skid marks. But I was a little kid, and I'm much better now.

[NightWatch]

That kind of bothers me. I used to drink a bit, but now I'm on psychoactive medications & it's wiser to be a 'doesn't drink ever'.

Sorry, I should have been more clear. A) I meant in a romantic relationship. I have lots of other standards besides alcohol consumption. Every now and again I like to grab takeout at a fancy restaurant, a bottle of wine and then go home, throw on some sweats and munch in front of the TV with a glass of wine. I want someone who could do that with me. The people I make friends with have nothing to do with this particular thing and therefore I don't care whether they drink or not.
B) Reasons like, "I think alcohol is gross" or "it messes with my meds" don't bother me. It's more like, "I've never ever had alcohol in my whole life and it's immoral and I'll be a bad person if I ever try it" that bugs me. It's the choosing to be ignorant, naive, and sheltered that bothers me. But that particular mindset typically comes with general ignorance and naive.

On the other side of the coin, there is the "My upbringing/beliefs teaches that alcohol consumption is not necessary for a happy life, and I choose not to." That doesn't bother me either because that statement would typically come from someone who is NOT sheltered, they have simply made their choices.

Oh, and full blown alcoholic is not acceptable either, if you're getting blasted on a regular basis, it's too much for me to deal with.

Hope that makes sense and comes across as slightly less asshole-ish. If not.. just go back and read the specific story about the guy I used to know. It's people like THAT who are AFRAID of everything that bother me.

[Seshat]

A) I meant in a romantic relationship. ... Every now and again I like to grab takeout at a fancy restaurant, a bottle of wine and then go home, throw on some sweats and munch in front of the TV with a glass of wine. I want someone who could do that with me.

Fair enough.

B) Reasons like, "I think alcohol is gross" or "it messes with my meds" don't bother me. It's more like, "I've never ever had alcohol in my whole life and it's immoral and I'll be a bad person if I ever try it" that bugs me.
<minor rearrangement here>
On the other side of the coin, there is the "My upbringing/beliefs teaches that alcohol consumption is not necessary for a happy life, and I choose not to."

Works for me! Okay. We're on the same page here then.

It's the choosing to be ignorant, naive, and sheltered that bothers me. But that particular mindset typically comes with general ignorance and naive.

I call it willful ignorance, and I don't understand it at all.

Note: I distinguish between willful ignorance and simple ignorance. There is too much that can be known in the world for any one person, even a modern Leonardo DaVinci, to learn it all.

Hm. Analogy time.
You're a guest with someone, and they're inviting you to eat something you've never eaten before. Let's say it's lobster, and they're inviting you to a restaurant famous for its lobster dishes.

Acceptable responses to me:
"Sure, let's go!"
"I've never tried it, but I'm willing to give it a try!"
"I'm sorry, I'm allergic to seafood."
"I'm sorry, addiction to seafood runs in my family and I prefer not to risk it."*
"I'm sorry, my religion/beliefs forbids seafood."
"I'd rather not."

With any of the refusals, courtesy would suggest you append something like:
"... but I'm sure they have other dishes that they make very well, so let's go."
or
"... but the restaurant guide says this Indian restaurant is excellent, have you ever tried it?"

* more likely to be relevant to the alcohol scenario, obviously.


Unacceptable response - and I think you'd find it unacceptable too:
"My religion/beliefs forbids seafood AND YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE IT EITHER IT'S HORRIBLE AND NASTY AND DID YOU KNOW LOBSTERS EAT THE RUBBISH ON THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST I EAT RUBBISH AND RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RHUBARB RHUBARB RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, and full blown alcoholic is not acceptable either, if you're getting blasted on a regular basis, it's too much for me to deal with.

DEFINITELY not acceptable to me, either.

One of my partners is periodically not in control of herself. She has no choice about it. She (and her psychiatrist, and our GP, and the rest of our family) works very, very hard to fight it, to let her be in control as much as possible, and safely sedated when it's just not possible at all.

Knowing how hard she fights for the ability to run her own life, it's very hard to see people willfully becoming so wasted they're worse than her at her (unhospitalised) worst.

[draggar]

Are you saying they want rhubbarb?

[bookworm]

I'm a non-drinker as well, except for the occasional special occasion (example for Christmas, FIL has a champagne breakfast, I'll have a small glass then to be polite.)

My husband occasionally will try to get me to drink, but that's mostly because when we first started dating we were joking around about having a threesome with another girl and I told him that I'd have to be tequila drunk for that. So periodically he waves the tequila bottle at me.

He's allergic to alcohol though, so while he enjoys drinking, he doesn't do it very much. I just get sick before I get buzzed.

[Seshat]

Are you saying they want rhubbarb?

Of course. Lobsters love rhubarb!