A rant...christmas version 2.0

[BethB]

I added the "2.0" for giggles. But anyways...I get a call from my mom Saturday morning and she and the step-dad are going out to shop for yet more presents. She asks what the girls are interested in, if their dad has already bought a certain gift, where to find said gifts, blah blah blah. She then asks me what I'm getting the kids for Christmas. I told her flat out "money". The reason???

Let me take you back about 5 yrs ago when I still bought my kids obscene amounts of presents. I bought some cute outfits for the girls. Dummy me relied on their dad to get me their clothes sizes and I ended up buying clothes too small for my older child and her gifts went to her sister and making christmas suck for her
I wasn't about to let that happen again so I started giving gift cards or cash so they can get stuff they need in the correct size and whatever they want.

This logic seemed to work for the last few years until this year. My mother made me feel like crap about it. I want my kids to have the things they want and need for Christmas but I want THEM to pick out what they like. I don't want to pick out what I think they would like. My oldest is all about the black, anime, goth and such while my younger is still a girly girl but is not about the pink and frilly.

My mother was never this materialistic regarding Christmas. NEVER!!!! Her favorite phrase growing up was "We won't be having Christmas this year" while bringing in new stuff she bought for herself. She was selfish when we were growing up. I think we were just a nuisance to her although I don't remember asking to be brought to life!! I grew to hate the holidays and still do. I keep it bottled up because I don't want the kids to hate it. I give them great presents each year. I think it's all about the kids and making them happy but i don't think you need 300 wrapped boxes under the tree to prove it.

Either way, I will continue to give the kids cash for Christmas but I just hate being made to feel like crap about it. Am I wrong to feel angry and annoyed or is she justified?

Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest. It's been bugging me all weekend and needed to vent. Otherwise, I'd probably tell her where to stick her Christmas!!

[Amina516]

My opinoin here: If your kids are happy at receiving the cash, then give them the cash? However, i know that I personally appreciate a well thought out gift or two. Maybe a majority of cash as the "main gift", but still a little something they can unwrap christmas morning?

Im sorry your mom is a hypocrite. To have acted like she did when you were a kid and now shes done a 180. Hindsight is 20/20.

[BookstoreEscapee]

How old are your kids? By the time I was a teenager I pretty much picked out most of my clothing gifts myself; my mom would wrap them anyway, but I knew what they were, because we bought them together. If she surprised me with clothes it was usually basics like turtlenecks and tshirts and stuff.

Most years lately, half my Christmas list is gift cards. I ask for cards for Target and Old Navy and such, so I can get stuff when I need it and not have to worry about lugging home stuff and finding a place to put it. There's always little stuff, and usually one big thing (this year I'm getting a new iPod).

Frankly, some of the best gifts I got after I graduated college was the three years in a row my parents gave us $2500 each to put towards student loans (or a car, one year). Then the next year we got $500 each to do whatever we wanted with. She gets creative wrapping them up, too, so it's not like they just handed us an envelope with a check in it.

[lupo pazzesco]

My mom says that sometimes gift cards and cash are the way to go for some people. Rather, though, you're giving them the gift of shopping. Example: I LOVE books. Books of all kinds, but what I read depends on my mood. Some family never know what to get for me, and since I'm in college and only home for a short stay, they feel that loading me down with stuff to try and get on the plane home is pointless, so they give me gift cards to bookstores, or other shops I like, or VISA gift cards. This only proves they actually think of me and my situation while shopping for me, and makes the gift that much more special because it means they care enough to consider what would work best for me.

Just my 2 cents...

[BethB]

The kids are 12,11, and 7. The youngest is easy to buy for but the two older girls...sigh...they're preteens. What more needs to be said

[42_42_42]

I'd say most pre-teens and teens love getting money. Heck, most adults, do, too.

I'm weird in that I cannot stand getting money, but, then, I hate getting impersonal generic gifts, too. Honestly, if you don't know me well enough to be able to buy something for me and don't want to take the time to ask my DH (who does) for advice, then I'd rather you not give me anything at all. Plus, 9 times out of 10, my DH will just pool all the money we get to pay bills with anyway (no, we do NOT need present money to meet our needs, I have no idea why he does this), so it's not like I end up being able to get myself something.

I was also weird as a pre-teen and teen for hating getting clothing as a present. I wanted books, CDs, movies, you know, "stuff", not clothes.

If your kids are happy with getting gift cards, then that's all that matters.

[AdminAssistant]

Do you take your kids to do the shopping? That might be a fun 'Mom and daughters' thing.

[BethB]

Do you take your kids to do the shopping? That might be a fun 'Mom and daughters' thing.

Oh definitely! we rarely get to hang out as girls seeing as I spend my life at work so I'm looking forward to it