I Got Beat Up

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Nice to know my family members aren't the only ones who think I'm a horrible mother who doesn't care enough about my daughter.

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to find a nurse hotline to ask as a compromise. If they say to go in, I will try to find a ride to go in, even though my child is already sound asleep.

Happy New Year.

EDIT: Also, I would call 911 to get a ride, but I don't want to bother emergency services with this. I'm afraid of getting yelled at. I don't know if I could handle that.

[Pedersen]

Nice to know my family members aren't the only ones who think I'm a horrible mother who doesn't care enough about my daughter.

SIGE, I'm being harsh because of how much I do not want to see a repeat of Tiny Dancer. Others have their own reasons, but they sound quite similar so far. We value you. We don't want to lose you. We don't want your daughter to lose you. We don't want your daughter to grow up thinking this is okay, and wind up in the same boat.

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to find a nurse hotline to ask as a compromise. If they say to go in, I will call Hopelink and go in, even though my child is already sound asleep.

Happy New Year.

For me, it'll be a happy new year just fine if it means I made some difference, and maybe helped you (and your daughter) to stop accepting this. And I'll still be fine with it if you hate me for the rest of your life for it, just so long as what I did helped you, no matter how much you didn't like it.

I don't like being an asshole. I really don't. But if it means stopping this sort of cycle, I'll do it in a heartbeat.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because I don't want to ruin anyone's holiday by wasting someone's time. What if someone is in more pain but they have to wait in the waiting room while I take up a room?

Hospital emergency rooms work on a triage system. If someone comes along with worse injury/illness than you, and you are stable, they will attend to that other person first. (This is part of the reason emergency room visits sometimes take so long. I once spent 4 hours in the ER after a car accident; the actual time they were working on me was much less; part of it was waiting for x-rays and part of it was a critical patient that came in. So I waited.) Let the doctors and nurses determine who needs their time the most. That's what they're there for. And you're not ruining their holiday. They are at work whether you come in or not.

Everyone tells me I'm a waste of time

Including yourself. Why are you less important than them? You've got four pages (so far) of people here who took the time to post a reply to your message. The fact that you posted in the first place tells me you know you need help. The best we can do from here is tell you to find the people in your area that can help you. That includes social services and the police; you haven't done anything wrong.

As for friends - yeah, making friends can be hard. Believe me, I know. Start doing things that interest you and you'll find like-minded people.

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Called 911. Pain in my head, above my neck.

I hope I don't regret this.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

You won't. You took a stand for your own well being.

I can go to sleep now.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Nice to know my family members aren't the only ones who think I'm a horrible mother who doesn't care enough about my daughter.

No one is saying that. They're just trying to make you realize that you can't take care of her if you don't take care of yourself.

Called 911. Pain in my head, above my neck.

I hope I don't regret this.

Good. Please stop worrying about "bothering" people. They are there for people who need help. You need help. They are not going to yell at you. I've seen ambulances called for less and no one got yelled at.

[Pedersen]

Called 911. Pain in my head, above my neck.

I hope I don't regret this.

You might, though if you do, it will be for the wrong reasons.

You made certain you would wake up tomorrow, and you made certain that your daughter would have a mother tomorrow. Those are the parts that matter. Remember those above anything else.

And remember this: Thank you for making certain of those things. I hope everything comes out well.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, thank God. You did the right thing.

What Ped said. You might think I'm a bad tempered, judgemental bitch (good call on that, btw, you'd be right.) but there is a big damn difference between me and your family.

The big difference is that I actually give a damn that you are in a terribly perilous situation. I want you to get the help you DESERVE. Because you do deserve better than this. I beseech you to stop lowballing your own self worth. You have been brainwashed by broken people. They are not telling you the truth when they tell you you are not worth anything. Your family is messed up. They cannot see this. But please consider that they are wrong in the value they place on you (and each other). You've been hearing this all your life, and it's hard to break out of that. But it's doable.

I can live with you thinking I suck. Just help yourself. Please. I do not think you are a horrible person. But I do think you need a very loud and clear wake up call. I'd say being beat all to hell and not thinking you are worth a call to medical help is a loud and clear wake up call.

[Food Lady]

Everything everyone said. I don't care if he's your brother; it's assault. It's a crime. I'm glad you called 911. Could be a concussion, blood clot, any number of potentially deadly things. Your daughter will survive 1 sleepless night. She needs her mommy to live.

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Paramedics were less than impressed. They said 'Oh, see a doctor on Monday.'

Kinda like I was fucking planning to do.

Right now, the cops are on their way to my brother's house. This time tomorrow, I could be under arrest for violating my probation, because my brother will claim I hit him first.

If they arrest my brother, I'm taking the bus to my mom's house, dropping off my kid, and then going home and killing myself.

I swear on everything that matters to me, I will be dead by this time tomorrow if they arrest my brother.

This is the worst day of my life.

[BethB]

whoa whoa whoa...stop. Killing yourself for what? For doing what's right by you? You are letting them beat you down, both physically and emotionally. And if he claims you hit him first, so what? Who's the one in pain? Who called for medical help? Yeah, you. Not him.

STOP worrying about your brother. He is a big boy capable of running or ruining his own life and he seems to be going with the latter. You need to do what's right by you and your child. That baby needs YOU!!! Your brother will survive jail time and go back to his ways. But you need to distance yourself from it. It won't be easy. Getting help is a small step away.
I don't even know you but I want you to get help. I saw domestic violence firsthand(abusive stepfather) and it's painful knowing you'd be that selfish to your baby.

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Who the hell is going to help me now? Not my mom, not for ruining my precious brother's dreams by giving him a criminal record.

Who is gonna provide me with a car so I can take my kid to school? So I can get groceries? So I can do basic things I can't do when I'm sick all the time?


NOBODY. None of you who think my brother should be arrested have a car to give me, have the ability to run my errands for me, are here to be my friends.

I have nobody now. I'm all alone.

My life is not worth living anymore.

[BookstoreEscapee]

If you care so little for yourself, think of what it will do to your daughter. She will grow up without a mother, right in the thick of that environment.

Call someone.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
http://suicidehotlines.com/washington.html

Talk to someone. You and your daughter deserve better.

[Pedersen]

Paramedics were less than impressed. They said 'Oh, see a doctor on Monday.'

Kinda like I was fucking planning to do.

So, after doing this:

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to find a nurse hotline to ask as a compromise. If they say to go in, I will try to find a ride to go in, even though my child is already sound asleep.

You called 911 (assumedly in response to instructions from said nurse hotline). Numerous people here were worried about your medical condition. The nurse hotline was worried about your medical condition. The paramedics spent over an hour checking out your condition (going by the posting times) before stating that you were going to be fine.

You took the steps to make sure your condition was stable enough that there is no cause for concern at this immediate time. Tell me again why you're upset about this? Ah, this must be it:

If they arrest my brother, I'm taking the bus to my mom's house, dropping off my kid, and then going home and killing myself.

I swear on everything that matters to me, I will be dead by this time tomorrow if they arrest my brother.

Nice. Swearing on your daughter that she will be motherless tomorrow (by her mother's own hand) if the person who assaulted you and injured you gets arrested.

I wish I could stop you. Unfortunately, you're 3000 miles away from me, in an unknown town, with an unknown name. I'm powerless to help or hinder you. I do know that you shouldn't, if for no other reason than your daughter needs you. Maybe that will be enough.

I hope it will.

[BethB]

You honestly think no one will help you?! My mother's family lived in Mexico while we lived in Idaho and Wyoming. She brought herself out of it if not for herself but for us. Don't even think you're not able!! Killing yourself is the most selfish thing you could do. And what happens if you do and your family has to explain why to your child.