2010 Predictions

[Jester]

These are not intentionally ridiculous predictions, though as predictions tend to be, they will probably end up being ridiculous anyways.

I am going to limit myself to sports predictions, but feel free to make your own semi-serious to serious predictions in whatever field you choose.

NFL: In the impending playoffs, the Arizona Cardinals will, against the odds, return to the Super Bowl and actually win, beating the stunned San Diego Chargers. This is just a guess. If I had to put money on it, I might lay my green on Diego to win it all. But I do think Zona has as good a chance as any in the NFC to get to the big game in Miami. Next season: New Orleans, pissed at the way the 2009 season ended for them, will be even more dominant and will roar their way to their first Super Bowl berth and first championship, destroying Indianapolis in the big game.

NBA: My beloved Phoenix Suns will finally win their first championship, easily beating whatever team comes out of the East after an epic Western Conference Finals against the hated Lakers.

NHL: The Coyotes will continue to do well, and will not get very far in the playoffs. I don't know much about hockey, so predicting the champion is a bit out of my wheelhouse, but I'll take a purely random shot and say that Boston wins it all. As long as the freakin' Ducks don't win, I'll be happy.

Baseball: My Diamondbacks will return to the playoffs, only to be knocked out in the NLCS by the Philadelphia Phillies, who will win their second title in three years by beating the Boston Red Sox in an epic World Series for the ages.

College Football: The Sun Devils will get back to winning, going 9-3 and stomping the hated Wildcats in the final game of the regular season. They will then go to some mid-level bowl and, sadly, get stomped by a superior team, due to Dennis Erickson not preparing worth a fuck. Again. On the national stage, Boise State will again go undefeated, and will receive a high ranking...but not a berth in the "national championship" game, instead being selected for one of the other BCS bowl games. The University of Miami Hurricanes will beat the Ohio State Buckeyes in the "national championship" game, causing people in Ohio to continue to curse the entire state of Florida loudly.

Golf: Tiger Woods will return to golfing, and will win a couple tournaments. When he does not win in his first two majors, the sports media will declare him "washed up" and "destroyed" by the recent scandals in his life. He'll then finish the year by kicking everyone's ass in the last two majors, proving once again that the national sports media has their collective heads up their collective asses. And I'll ignore the whole thing, as I don't care about golf, nor about who Tiger Woods is or isn't fucking.

NASCAR: A bunch of rednecks will drive in circles, to the left. Some of them will crash. Some of them will get mad at some of the other rednecks driving in circles, to the left. In the end, Jimmie Johnson will win yet another championship, driving three Dale Earnhardt, Jr. fans to commit suicide, and thus making the world a slightly better place. In other racing news, NASCAR's ratings will spike whenever Danica Patrick is shown on tv without her helmet. Let's face it, she's far better looking than Dick Trickle. (I have no idea if Dick Trickle is even still racing; I just love that name!)

Olympics: Jamaica's Usain Bolt will compete in the Winter Games, winning gold in speed skating....despite not wearing skates. Americans will go nuts over the figure skaters, and the American media will pretty much ignore the rest of the Olympics. I will continue to be fascinated by the whole bobsledding thing, and will watch the few events that are actually shown. Love that freakin' event! And I will be rooting for the USA, but also for the Jamaican bobsled team. How do you NOT root for the Jamaican bobsled team? This is a team that has competed for years, but come from a tropical island where there is NO SNOW. And curling will continue to be a mesmerizing hit, though no one will be able to figure out why.

World Cup: the French will cheat. Again. Italy or Brazil will win. Again. Americans will, for the most part, ignore it. Again.

College Basketball: the Syracuse Orangemen will return to prominence and win the Final Four, pissing off people in Kansas and North Carolina. Arizona State will once again sweep Arizona, but will still be given a much lower seed in the tournament than the "name" Wildcats. I will continue to bang my head against the wall over this.

[Salted Grump]

I can explain why Curling is so mesmerising. It has the same qualities as a zamboni clearing the ice; it's just oddly soothing to see.

as for a 2010 prediction, I predict that Environmentalists will continue to bitch about Canada's record of 20 tons of Dioxins per capita and fail to notice that 20 tons x 33 million is still far less than 3 tons x 1.2 billion *cough*India*cough*.

Oh; for sports; NHL playoffs will have all 6 canadian teams in the top 8, and it'll be a hard-fought battle between Vancouver and Montreal for the Cup.

[AdminAssistant]

College Basketball: the Syracuse Orangemen will return to prominence and win the Final Four, pissing off people in Kansas and North Carolina.

Syracuse? Oh, puh-leaze.

Another NCAA prediction, when the Jayhawks win the Final Four, while everyone is celebrating Coach Bill Self....Mark Mangino will be seen at The Bottleneck, quietly crying into a beer and a bag of pork rinds. The folks in Manhattan will also try to get in on the action, but will be run out of town. Freakin' KState, come back during football season!

And despite every other State of Kansas employee going through a month-long furlough, Coach Self will be given another gazillion dollar raise.

NASCAR: Jester is mostly right, except to add that Mark Martin will say he's going to retire again and he will come in second again. Jeff Gordon will continue to attempt to prove he's not gay, difficult while he's doing Dancing With the Stars. Danika Patrick will be hailed as the "first female NASCAR driver" and will astound everyone with her last place finishes. The NASCAR PR guys will also try to pass her off as sexy.

[Mr. Rager!]

These are not intentionally ridiculous predictions, though as predictions tend to be, they will probably end up being ridiculous anyways.

I am going to limit myself to sports predictions, but feel free to make your own semi-serious to serious predictions in whatever field you choose.

NFL: In the impending playoffs, the Arizona Cardinals will, against the odds, return to the Super Bowl and actually win, beating the stunned San Diego Chargers. This is just a guess. If I had to put money on it, I might lay my green on Diego to win it all. But I do think Zona has as good a chance as any in the NFC to get to the big game in Miami. Next season: New Orleans, pissed at the way the 2009 season ended for them, will be even more dominant and will roar their way to their first Super Bowl berth and first championship, destroying Indianapolis in the big game.

NBA: My beloved Phoenix Suns will finally win their first championship, easily beating whatever team comes out of the East after an epic Western Conference Finals against the hated Lakers.

NFL: Cardinals are going to get smacked again by GB and be eliminated from the playoffs first-round. Dallas is going to take it to the Eagles again, meet the Vikings and have a shootout with the Vikings and win. GB will go to New Orleans and make Drew Brees a non-factor just like Dallas did. GB will go visit Dallas and Dallas will prevail upset about their loss during the regular season. Dallas and Indianapolis in the SB, Indianapolis will win.

NBA: The Suns will continue to lose to the Lakers by double digits. Get a 6th seed in the playoffs, but will be a non-factor as the Lakers are going to be the Western Conference Champions and meet the Cavaliers in the Finals. Lakers in 7. (Kobe's will is just too strong.)

2010 just pisses me off. Still no flying cars. I hate 2010.

[Geek King]

Offroad Racing: Speedvision will still be the only channel to cover Paris to Dakkar (or whatever its called this year) and the Baja 500/1000, and then only after some junior producer notices a small blurb in the paper and thinks, "Oh, they did that already?" Speedvision will have to steal clips from Eruopean stations to have enough footage to fit 2.5 hours of coverage for six classes of vehicles running at the same time. It will continue to be an ignored event even though it is the only sport where bandit raiders can take out one of the competitors.

[Shards]

NFL: In the impending playoffs, the Arizona Cardinals will, against the odds, return to the Super Bowl and actually win, beating the stunned San Diego Chargers. This is just a guess. If I had to put money on it, I might lay my green on Diego to win it all. But I do think Zona has as good a chance as any in the NFC to get to the big game in Miami. Next season: New Orleans, pissed at the way the 2009 season ended for them, will be even more dominant and will roar their way to their first Super Bowl berth and first championship, destroying Indianapolis in the big game.

To be fair to Saints fans, there's no shame in losing to a team with two of the best runningbacks in the game (Carolina Panthers, my team), and the best special teams in the league (Tampa Bay.)

[TTAZ]

College Football: The Sun Devils will get back to winning, going 9-3 and stomping the hated Wildcats in the final game of the regular season.

You. Wish.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Mark Mangino will be seen at The Bottleneck, quietly crying into a beer and a bag of pork rinds.

Y'know, I was kinda wondering if you had an encounter with the Surly Parade Balloon (as I've taken to calling him) or knew somebody who did when all the shit with him was going down (and it would be hard not to know you did. ).

It sounds like he's one of those people truly deserving of the title "asshole."

This wasn't a good year to be an asshole college football coach. Mark Mangino, Mike Leach and Charlie Weis all got handed the axe...

Other predictions...the Milwaukee Brewers mount a playoff run deep into September, only to fall just short....

Brett Favre retires again, changes his mind about retiring again, signs with some other team again, and mindless Brett Favre fanboys/fangirls have a new favorite team...

Iran and Israel will be at war with each other by the years' end. I've got to be a little bolder here, because general predictions of unrest in the Middle East are like predicting the sun will rise in the east every morning....

I have Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse and Dick Clark in my dead pool for 2010 so far.

[AdminAssistant]

Y'know, I was kinda wondering if you had an encounter with the Surly Parade Balloon (as I've taken to calling him) or knew somebody who did when all the shit with him was going down (and it would be hard not to know you did. ).

Not personally. The sad thing is that, despite shoving around his players and saying such classy things as, "I hope you get shot" to them, if KU had gone to a bowl game he'd probably still have a job. As it is, a lot of locals were upset he was fired because the kids should just "toughen up" and "not be such pansies." These are the same assholes who forget that there's actually a school attached to the football and basketball teams.

[Broomjockey]

And curling will continue to be a mesmerizing hit, though no one will be able to figure out why.

I know why for me. My cousin's gunning to be on the Candian curling team. (I love being able to say that)

[Jester]

The NASCAR PR guys will also try to pass her off as sexy.

Danica is lickalicious!

To be fair to Saints fans, there's no shame in losing to a team with two of the best runningbacks in the game (Carolina Panthers, my team), and the best special teams in the league (Tampa Bay.)

Panthers, no. Losing to Tampa, who had ONE WIN going in to the game? There is PLENTY of shame in that. Tons of it. The Dump Truck of Shame backed up to the Super Dome with a full load and emptied it on to the Saints for that game.

You. Wish.

Yes. I DO.

This wasn't a good year to be an asshole college football coach.

Depends on who you were. Nick Saban still seems to have a job, and he is a major asshole.

I know why for me. My cousin's gunning to be on the Candian curling team.

That's different. There is NO shame in watching ANY sport if a friend or relative is involved in it. If my cousin/friend/girlfriend/relative was in the Olympics for synchronized rock gardening, I would watch it. How often do you know or are related to an Olympian?

[Broomjockey]

How often do you know or are related to an Olympian?

He's already got a silver, so I'm hoping he manages to bag the gold this year I may have to cheat and watch while I'm at work, if I can figure out how.

[Jester]

I think that would be a GREAT reason to take off or request off work. "My cousin is competing in the Olympics!"

If that doesn't work, though, DVR the event and hope no one tells you about it. It being curling, that's possible, unless a lot of your friends and acquaintances KNOW that that's your cousin on tv.

If you can't get off of work and don't have a DVR....well, it sucks to be you. Though being your cousin probably doesn't suck.

[Greenday]

NFL: My Jets will upset and make it to the AFC Championship. Cowboys win it all. Arizona will lose their first game in the playoffs.

MLB: Yankees dominate and go back-to-back. Philly won't make it and will trade away this coming year's best pitcher.

The World: Shit will hit the fan, mass chaos, and we're doomed. Seems like a good time for it. Then I won't have to worry about internships or job searching after college.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Another college football prediction:

The NCAA investigates USC, finds enough violations to give them the death penalty a la SMU, does jack shit.

There's a reason why Pete Carroll suddenly seems interested in pro football coaching jobs now.