Parents are seperating

[SG15Z]

So after 25 years of marriage my mom has decided to leave my dad. See back in June my dad bought a boat without telling my mom, and not discussing with her about it like she asked him too. So $3,000 gone towards a boat we won't ride much cause it keeps breaking down, and it's a thirty minute drive to any body of water. So aver since then my mom has been pissed at him. This isn't the first time he did something like this and it was the last straw.

So in December my mom told me she was going to leave him, and asked if I wanted to go live with her or stay with dad. Well I decided to stay with my dad as I don't think she's making the right decision (do to various reasons that are too Fratching for this forum).

So yeah she's currently packing up stuff and moving it to her new apartment on the other side of town. Not sure if this will lead to a full divorce (though it's highly likely) as she has yet to mention the word divorce, but that don't mean nothing.

It's been hard watching this happen, and watching how brokenhearted my dad has become. *sigh*

Anyway I thought I should share with you guys my pain as writing it down and talking to other people about it does help. And for those of you on Facebook that have been so supportive since that status update a few days back, here's a big THANK YOU!

[Plaidman]

....

I'm sorry that's happening. But try to hope for the best. Try to convince your dad to take her out on a date. Like a repeat of their first date or something. Get him to remind her why she fell in love with him in the first place.

Love is super rare, and a very powerful. They are lucky to have each other for the time they did have, and it likely happen they'll be back together if they try.

[Jester]

And while this sucks for you, remember to stay positive. You still have both your parents in your life, and make sure they both know how much you love them, even if you don't always agree with the decisions they make.

Not everyone still has both their parents in their life, or both their parents even still alive. Don't forget that you are still blessed with both of these two very important people.

[Soulstealer]

While you may not like it keep in mind that you're not privy to everything in your parents' relationship. I'm not saying this will lead to divorce but there's probably been a lot of stuff in the past that this was just the final straw for you mom.

They may get back together but it will take a lot of work and probably couples therapy. Don't be too mad at your mom though, it sucks but she just trying to do what's best.

[Boozy]

I'm sorry to hear that.

My parents also separated after nearly 25 years of marriage. I was a young adult at the time, but I still found it very painful and difficult to accept.

Hang in there, and PM me if you need to chat.

[lupo pazzesco]

I'm sorry I didn't reply to your texts, hun. I just recently recharged my phone, so, yeah.

I've been where you are, for many of the same reasons (Father being irresponsible, mother getting fed up) If you ever need to talk or hang out or whathaveyou, you know how to find me and get ahold of me.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending you positive energy.

Lots of hugs going your way. Call me if you need me.

[Peppergirl]

Oh honey, Im so very sorry. PM me if you want. I didn't notice your status on FB, so Im sorry I didn't say anything earlier.

My parents are still together, so I dont know how it feels - but I divorced my husband after 15 years of marriage, so I can sorta relate to that aspect of it...if I can shed any perspective, I will.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My parents separated briefly when I was 13. It wasn't a legal separation or anything, but my mom stayed with her sister for a couple days and then my dad moved out for about 2 weeks. The first night my mom was gone, I threw up. He moved back in and they worked everything out... Not trying to speculate on what your parents might do, but whatever happens, just remember that it has nothing to do with you, and whatever you see/hear, you never know all the things that are going on in their relationship. Love them both, don't take sides, and don't let them draw you into any fights/disagreements/drama. (Hopefully they are not the type to do that.) You can only trust that they are doing what they need to do.

[Soulstealer]

Sometimes I wonder about other people's experience with the divorce/separation of their parents. Mine divorced when I was 12 and in a way it was a relief that they wouldn't be fighting all the time.

Any thoughts of if it makes a difference whether about whether you adjust better when you're young or fully grown, or maybe it's just their relationship throughout the whole thing.

I know it's a bit off topic but the point is that even if they do get back together this is going to be a stressful time for you too and I'd try to find a way to distance yourself from it. Also don't blame one parent too much over the other, sometimes people just grow apart.

[Akasa]

/hugs

I just wanted to give you support.

[SG15Z]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the support.

[ApolloSZ]

Hey SG15Z

Mine split when I was about 3 or 4. Twas'nt easy, but today they get along well, and even meet for dinner when Dad's in town. So yeah, all I can say is I hope it all turns out for the best, and no matter waht, they'll both care about you.

[protege]

Sometimes I wonder about other people's experience with the divorce/separation of their parents. Mine divorced when I was 12 and in a way it was a relief that they wouldn't be fighting all the time.

My parents stayed married "for the kids." Yet, they fought constantly, and when one of them wasn't around, I got to hear bitching about the other one. After 30 years of that shit, I moved out. I got tired of spending all day in a noisy office, and then having to deal with more noise at home.

In fact, the constant noise is probably why none of their kids are married. What can I say, other than having that go on for so long...it warped our views of "marriage" and "family" a bit.

[TOLady]

In fact, the constant noise is probably why none of their kids are married. What can I say, other than having that go on for so long...it warped our views of "marriage" and "family" a bit.

It took me a long, long, long time to understand that marriage was not about arguing and "I'm right, you're wrong". It also took a man whose own parents had a strong marriage based on mutual respect to change my mind about the entire institution.

My brother is still totally against it and was incensed when I got married. "Didn't you learn anything from our parents?" and didn't attend my wedding!

Coincidentally, my own father moved out of his girlfriend's house over this Christmas (they've been together more than 20 years now and this is the 4th time - but that's a rant for another thread!), and moved back in a few days later.

Not saying that it will happen to you and your parents in any way, shape or form, but sometimes the holidays bring things to a head in a bad way and afterwards things settle down again once they've had time to reflect on their long history - good and bad - together.

Sending <hugs>.

[Evil Queen]

How you holdin' up, sugar?

*offers dark side cookies*