Tweet
I don't know what it is about my life, but even when I'm not trying, weird things seem to happen to me. Some people seem to lead charmed lives where things always fall their way...I seem to live a weird-charmed life, where weird things just follow me around. In any case, all the things I talk about below happened today, in one short outing.
Short background: Last night I got a bit inebriated and called my niece Princess for a ride home, being responsible. Gave her gas money for the lift, not because it is a long drive, but because she went out of her way for me, she's broke, and I needed a ride back downtown today. Also, I've been driving her old vehicle, her late father's pickup truck, for the last many days, because it has a working heater (my Blazer does not), and because, since it will shortly be repossessed by the bank, why not?
Today: She comes to get me around 1-ish. As we are driving downtown, I check the voice memo in my phone to help me remember where I parked the pickup. We get there...no pickup. Which is when I remember that I had Princess pick me up at another bar I went to after the first one, and I had probably parked by the second bar, but not changed the voice memo. (I got far drunker at the second bar.) And as we redirect and head towards the second bar, I suddenly think I may have parked at the electric company, which is across the street from the second bar, and a place where many people park at night for the second bar. And if I have left the pickup there this late into the day, it's virtually certain the electric company has had it towed, since they only have about six parking spots. Shit! I am getting frantic, knowing that if it was towed, that is going to be a couple hundred dollars out of my pocket for my stupidity, and we'd have to do it today, not only to avoid more charges, but because my backpack is in the pickup, with all my magic stuff that I'll need tonight! Shit shit shit! We get to the electric company, and no pickup truck....but then we notice that the pickup truck is actually in one of the few spots on the other side of the street by the bar. Good. I would hate to think I was so drunk and stupid that I would have left the pickup at the electric company and not thought to make a point that we had to get back to it early in the morning before the electric company opened. Hell, even if Princess had not been awake early, I was, and could easily have taken a cab to get it. So crisis averted. Yay me. I am a stupid drunk, but luckily not a really stupid drunk.
So I head to the bank and then the grocery store. On the way to the grocery store, I notice the sign outside the Beer Monger's lists a beer tasting for today AND something about a bar card. I had not planned on stopping in, but why not? As it turns out, they have many new and (hopefully) lovely beers, and I pick up a few after talking to the owner. The bar card is a pretty nifty little item: a little credit card-sized card that, at ten bars on the island, entitles you to one two-for-one drink each day. That's basically a free drink any day any time at any of ten bars, most of which I frequent, several of which I frequent often. The ten dollar price tag will pay for itself in no time. And a bonus: 10% of the proceeds from the bar card (I'm not sure if it's from the sale of the card or from the booze you procure with it) go to charity. So being a drunk is actually now a charitable thing that helps people! (My mother is going to be so proud....) Yay me!
I head to the grocery store next. I don't need much, but a friend gave me a $40 gift card to this particular grocery store simply because she got it for Christmas and she does not shop at this particular store. Since I don't need that much, rather than use the card on numerous occasions, I decide to check out the wine. As luck would have it, the head wine guy is in the wine island, straightening some things. After talking to him for a bit, he recommends two wines, a Spanish red and a South American (Chilean I think) Malbec. As luck would have it, not only are they reasonably priced ($10 and $7), they are also buy one get one free. Free wine! Yay me again...being a drunk is really paying off!
I also decide to pick up a six-pack of beer from a brewery I've never heard of, to continue the Trying New Things trend I've been on lately. They had three varieties from the brewery in question....I go with the Brown Ale. If it's good, I'll come back for the Red Ale and the Winter Ale later. Groceries plus booze plus gift card equals eleven bucks out of my pocket for everything. (And just now I realized that I forgot to get one of the few items I actually NEEDED from said grocery store. Damn it!) I do plan on sharing at least one if not more of the bottles of wine with my benefactor, since she loves wine and because of her I got four bottles for free! (Also, if I don't like either wine, I can always just give her--or another friend--the second bottle.)
After loading the groceries into the pickup, I notice the wildest trike I have ever seen in my life. Considering the fact that we have a Bike Week in Key West and I have seen some pretty wild trikes in my time, that is saying a lot. It was utterly ridiculous, in the most awesome of ways. And it was one of those moments that I truly enjoyed having a cell phone with a camera. This thing HAD to be photographed! (I wasn't the only one who did so, even in the short time I was there.) I shall include the pictures in the next posting of this thread.
And I was home by 3. Pretty wild start to my day. And pretty damn weird.
Short background: Last night I got a bit inebriated and called my niece Princess for a ride home, being responsible. Gave her gas money for the lift, not because it is a long drive, but because she went out of her way for me, she's broke, and I needed a ride back downtown today. Also, I've been driving her old vehicle, her late father's pickup truck, for the last many days, because it has a working heater (my Blazer does not), and because, since it will shortly be repossessed by the bank, why not?
Today: She comes to get me around 1-ish. As we are driving downtown, I check the voice memo in my phone to help me remember where I parked the pickup. We get there...no pickup. Which is when I remember that I had Princess pick me up at another bar I went to after the first one, and I had probably parked by the second bar, but not changed the voice memo. (I got far drunker at the second bar.) And as we redirect and head towards the second bar, I suddenly think I may have parked at the electric company, which is across the street from the second bar, and a place where many people park at night for the second bar. And if I have left the pickup there this late into the day, it's virtually certain the electric company has had it towed, since they only have about six parking spots. Shit! I am getting frantic, knowing that if it was towed, that is going to be a couple hundred dollars out of my pocket for my stupidity, and we'd have to do it today, not only to avoid more charges, but because my backpack is in the pickup, with all my magic stuff that I'll need tonight! Shit shit shit! We get to the electric company, and no pickup truck....but then we notice that the pickup truck is actually in one of the few spots on the other side of the street by the bar. Good. I would hate to think I was so drunk and stupid that I would have left the pickup at the electric company and not thought to make a point that we had to get back to it early in the morning before the electric company opened. Hell, even if Princess had not been awake early, I was, and could easily have taken a cab to get it. So crisis averted. Yay me. I am a stupid drunk, but luckily not a really stupid drunk.
So I head to the bank and then the grocery store. On the way to the grocery store, I notice the sign outside the Beer Monger's lists a beer tasting for today AND something about a bar card. I had not planned on stopping in, but why not? As it turns out, they have many new and (hopefully) lovely beers, and I pick up a few after talking to the owner. The bar card is a pretty nifty little item: a little credit card-sized card that, at ten bars on the island, entitles you to one two-for-one drink each day. That's basically a free drink any day any time at any of ten bars, most of which I frequent, several of which I frequent often. The ten dollar price tag will pay for itself in no time. And a bonus: 10% of the proceeds from the bar card (I'm not sure if it's from the sale of the card or from the booze you procure with it) go to charity. So being a drunk is actually now a charitable thing that helps people! (My mother is going to be so proud....) Yay me!
I head to the grocery store next. I don't need much, but a friend gave me a $40 gift card to this particular grocery store simply because she got it for Christmas and she does not shop at this particular store. Since I don't need that much, rather than use the card on numerous occasions, I decide to check out the wine. As luck would have it, the head wine guy is in the wine island, straightening some things. After talking to him for a bit, he recommends two wines, a Spanish red and a South American (Chilean I think) Malbec. As luck would have it, not only are they reasonably priced ($10 and $7), they are also buy one get one free. Free wine! Yay me again...being a drunk is really paying off!
I also decide to pick up a six-pack of beer from a brewery I've never heard of, to continue the Trying New Things trend I've been on lately. They had three varieties from the brewery in question....I go with the Brown Ale. If it's good, I'll come back for the Red Ale and the Winter Ale later. Groceries plus booze plus gift card equals eleven bucks out of my pocket for everything. (And just now I realized that I forgot to get one of the few items I actually NEEDED from said grocery store. Damn it!) I do plan on sharing at least one if not more of the bottles of wine with my benefactor, since she loves wine and because of her I got four bottles for free! (Also, if I don't like either wine, I can always just give her--or another friend--the second bottle.)After loading the groceries into the pickup, I notice the wildest trike I have ever seen in my life. Considering the fact that we have a Bike Week in Key West and I have seen some pretty wild trikes in my time, that is saying a lot. It was utterly ridiculous, in the most awesome of ways. And it was one of those moments that I truly enjoyed having a cell phone with a camera. This thing HAD to be photographed! (I wasn't the only one who did so, even in the short time I was there.) I shall include the pictures in the next posting of this thread.
And I was home by 3. Pretty wild start to my day. And pretty damn weird.
It's not a bad way to get paid...
Comment