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Today, as you probably know, is Chinese New Year. As we always do, we went out for dinner at the best Chinese restaurant in the area, along with my uncle, aunt, cousin, and our neighbors who are Chinese.
However, I was working, and my mother asked me what time would be good for me. While it was impossible for me to give a precise time, I told her that the earliest I'd get out was 7PM, more likely 7:15, and that it'd take me 15 minutes to get from my store to the restaurant. A 7:15 reservation would have been ideal, because even if I got out at 7:15, I wouldn't be TOO late, and if I got out at 7 I'd be right on time.
Mom: OK. I'll make the reservation for 6:45.
Wait....what? I just told you that the ABSOLUTE EARLIEST I'd get out was 7, and that it'd take me 15 minutes to get there. Why the hell are you making the reservation so early? That guarantees I'll be at least half an hour late!
Mom: Well it's OK, because [uncle, aunt, and cousin] probably won't be able to get there until at least 7 anyway."
What the fudgepacker???? OK, so you know I can't make it for 6:45, and now you're saying you know the relatives can't make it either?? That does NOT justify it; if anything, that's TWO reasons to not make the reservation for that time!
Needless to say, she went ahead and made the reservation for 6:45. And, just as I predicted, I got out at 7:15, arriving at 7:30. Everyone was already well into their meals when I got there, and I was one step short of losing it by then. If someone had said "Where've you been?" or "What took so long?" I fully intended to say "ok, goodbye" and just go home. But no one made any remarks.
And what makes this all the more irritating is the fact that this is NOT the first time she's done this to me. A couple years ago, when I was at my previous store, we were going to go out for my brother's birthday to the Outback Steakhouse that was just down the road from my store. As usual, I was closing, and she did the exact same thing she did this time, and I was 45 minutes late for the dinner. By the time I got there, they'd all finished eating and were STILL waiting for me. I was the only one there at the table with food while everyone else was sitting there waiting. It made me feel like a glutton, because from where I sat, the other patrons would think I'd ordered more food than everyone else. It was so embarrassing that I nearly cried.
And I thought we'd gotten things cleared up after than, but obviously not.
So when we got home just a short while ago, I calmly asked to know what the reasoning was for a 6:45 reservation, knowing that I wouldn't be able to make it, nor the relatives.
Mom: Oh, I didn't know they couldn't make it until they called just before 7 to say they'd be late.
Me: No, you told me days ago that you know they couldn't make it.
Mom: Oh, I just assumed they couldn't.
Me: And yet you went ahead and made the reservation anyway?
Mom: Well, it's not like you were able to give me a precise time.
News flash mom, I work retail, and I work the closing shift. I've done so for more than a decade (with a 4 year break while I was away at college). I CAN'T GIVE A PRECISE TIME. However, I told you in no uncertain terms that there was NO WAY I could make 6:45. I said so MULTIPLE TIMES, and yet you went ahead and did it anyway. It may not be a big deal in YOUR MIND if I'm late, but when you ask for my input and then act contrary to it, it makes me feel like my input - and by extension, my presence at the dinner - isn't valued. That's insulting and rude, and I don't like it.
And you know what? We didn't leave the restaurant until 9, so it's not as if anyone else had pressing plans that required them to leave early. We could have easily made the reservation for 7:15 and not had a problem.
Me: Well, no, but I told you about when I'd get out.
Mom: Well, it's not like it's a big deal.
Me: Yes, it is a big deal, and I don't appreciate it!
Mom: [sarcasm]Thanky ou for putting a damper on the evening....[/sarcasm].
Me: You know, next time, I just won't go!
Mom: Fine Dave, have a snit! *goes up to her room and shuts the door*
I love my mother, but I really hate it when she does this sort of thing. She makes a mistake, or does something totally illogical to everyone but her, and then gets upset when someone has the temerity to call her on it. I honestly can't remember the last time she admitted to anything but the TINIEST of tiny mistakes. And of course, if anyone else refuses to admit that they're wrong, she gets pissed.
This is not going to happen again. The next time there's some sort of get-together, unless there's a GOOD reason to set at time I can't make, then I am NOT going. I don't care WHAT the event is or how important or significant it is. I'm just going to say "sorry, I'm going to be at work. Can't make it unless the event is scheduled for later in the evening." If she really wants me to be there, she'll LISTEN.
ETA: If you're wondering why I didn't ask for tonight off, it's because we weren't even sure we were going to be doing this until well after the cutoff for time-off requests. Because of my mother's recent surgery, we weren't sure if we'd have to postpone until next Sunday.
However, I was working, and my mother asked me what time would be good for me. While it was impossible for me to give a precise time, I told her that the earliest I'd get out was 7PM, more likely 7:15, and that it'd take me 15 minutes to get from my store to the restaurant. A 7:15 reservation would have been ideal, because even if I got out at 7:15, I wouldn't be TOO late, and if I got out at 7 I'd be right on time.
Mom: OK. I'll make the reservation for 6:45.
Wait....what? I just told you that the ABSOLUTE EARLIEST I'd get out was 7, and that it'd take me 15 minutes to get there. Why the hell are you making the reservation so early? That guarantees I'll be at least half an hour late!
Mom: Well it's OK, because [uncle, aunt, and cousin] probably won't be able to get there until at least 7 anyway."
What the fudgepacker???? OK, so you know I can't make it for 6:45, and now you're saying you know the relatives can't make it either?? That does NOT justify it; if anything, that's TWO reasons to not make the reservation for that time!
Needless to say, she went ahead and made the reservation for 6:45. And, just as I predicted, I got out at 7:15, arriving at 7:30. Everyone was already well into their meals when I got there, and I was one step short of losing it by then. If someone had said "Where've you been?" or "What took so long?" I fully intended to say "ok, goodbye" and just go home. But no one made any remarks.
And what makes this all the more irritating is the fact that this is NOT the first time she's done this to me. A couple years ago, when I was at my previous store, we were going to go out for my brother's birthday to the Outback Steakhouse that was just down the road from my store. As usual, I was closing, and she did the exact same thing she did this time, and I was 45 minutes late for the dinner. By the time I got there, they'd all finished eating and were STILL waiting for me. I was the only one there at the table with food while everyone else was sitting there waiting. It made me feel like a glutton, because from where I sat, the other patrons would think I'd ordered more food than everyone else. It was so embarrassing that I nearly cried.
And I thought we'd gotten things cleared up after than, but obviously not.
So when we got home just a short while ago, I calmly asked to know what the reasoning was for a 6:45 reservation, knowing that I wouldn't be able to make it, nor the relatives.
Mom: Oh, I didn't know they couldn't make it until they called just before 7 to say they'd be late.
Me: No, you told me days ago that you know they couldn't make it.
Mom: Oh, I just assumed they couldn't.
Me: And yet you went ahead and made the reservation anyway?
Mom: Well, it's not like you were able to give me a precise time.
News flash mom, I work retail, and I work the closing shift. I've done so for more than a decade (with a 4 year break while I was away at college). I CAN'T GIVE A PRECISE TIME. However, I told you in no uncertain terms that there was NO WAY I could make 6:45. I said so MULTIPLE TIMES, and yet you went ahead and did it anyway. It may not be a big deal in YOUR MIND if I'm late, but when you ask for my input and then act contrary to it, it makes me feel like my input - and by extension, my presence at the dinner - isn't valued. That's insulting and rude, and I don't like it.
And you know what? We didn't leave the restaurant until 9, so it's not as if anyone else had pressing plans that required them to leave early. We could have easily made the reservation for 7:15 and not had a problem.
Me: Well, no, but I told you about when I'd get out.
Mom: Well, it's not like it's a big deal.
Me: Yes, it is a big deal, and I don't appreciate it!
Mom: [sarcasm]Thanky ou for putting a damper on the evening....[/sarcasm].
Me: You know, next time, I just won't go!
Mom: Fine Dave, have a snit! *goes up to her room and shuts the door*
I love my mother, but I really hate it when she does this sort of thing. She makes a mistake, or does something totally illogical to everyone but her, and then gets upset when someone has the temerity to call her on it. I honestly can't remember the last time she admitted to anything but the TINIEST of tiny mistakes. And of course, if anyone else refuses to admit that they're wrong, she gets pissed.
This is not going to happen again. The next time there's some sort of get-together, unless there's a GOOD reason to set at time I can't make, then I am NOT going. I don't care WHAT the event is or how important or significant it is. I'm just going to say "sorry, I'm going to be at work. Can't make it unless the event is scheduled for later in the evening." If she really wants me to be there, she'll LISTEN.
ETA: If you're wondering why I didn't ask for tonight off, it's because we weren't even sure we were going to be doing this until well after the cutoff for time-off requests. Because of my mother's recent surgery, we weren't sure if we'd have to postpone until next Sunday.
I happen to be born in the year of the Tiger! 
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