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So today I went to see the spinal surgeon to check out my options for my back now that I'd seen the hip specialist. It's not looking good, here are my options.
Last resort is the surgeon i saw operating on me to fuse my lower spine, though that's a last resort and he won't even do it until all other options are failures (by which time I'll have propably done myself in beause of being driven mad by the pain) even then it's a less than 50/50 chance of it working and a 40% chance of him cocking up and putting me in a wheelchair. Which to my mind at this moment in time isn't bad odds, even if it went spectacularly wrong and it put me in a wheelchair and didn't work.
1. Pain management or something or other using yoga or pilates (had me wtfing honestly)
2. Get a special insole for my shoe which will make my legs level, not that i hold much hope in that because it won't reverse 24 years of damage.
3. Go to a secondary surgeon, who does the operation a different way, going in from the front, even then the odds may be the same but we're gonna get a second opinion.
The pain is getting worse, I can feel that I'm reaching my maximum tolerance, not only that but I'm more and more drained from tolerating the pain and sleep is slowly working less and less for me, even when i sleep more often and for longer.
Hell, I'm reaching a stage now where if the operation had a 50/50 chance of killing me, I'd take it.
This may give you a hint of how bad it really is pain wise, I scaled my hand with boiling water the other day, and funnily enough, I somewhat enjoyed the pain because it was NEW, not the same old pains i get day in and day out every minute I'm awake.
Hell, all my life I've been mostly against the idea of using painkillers, but having tried a lot and having them all fail, i'm close to asking to be put on morphine, even if it knocks me the hell out it'd be better than where I'm at now.
Last resort is the surgeon i saw operating on me to fuse my lower spine, though that's a last resort and he won't even do it until all other options are failures (by which time I'll have propably done myself in beause of being driven mad by the pain) even then it's a less than 50/50 chance of it working and a 40% chance of him cocking up and putting me in a wheelchair. Which to my mind at this moment in time isn't bad odds, even if it went spectacularly wrong and it put me in a wheelchair and didn't work.
1. Pain management or something or other using yoga or pilates (had me wtfing honestly)
2. Get a special insole for my shoe which will make my legs level, not that i hold much hope in that because it won't reverse 24 years of damage.
3. Go to a secondary surgeon, who does the operation a different way, going in from the front, even then the odds may be the same but we're gonna get a second opinion.
The pain is getting worse, I can feel that I'm reaching my maximum tolerance, not only that but I'm more and more drained from tolerating the pain and sleep is slowly working less and less for me, even when i sleep more often and for longer.
Hell, I'm reaching a stage now where if the operation had a 50/50 chance of killing me, I'd take it.
This may give you a hint of how bad it really is pain wise, I scaled my hand with boiling water the other day, and funnily enough, I somewhat enjoyed the pain because it was NEW, not the same old pains i get day in and day out every minute I'm awake.
Hell, all my life I've been mostly against the idea of using painkillers, but having tried a lot and having them all fail, i'm close to asking to be put on morphine, even if it knocks me the hell out it'd be better than where I'm at now.
] and takes a lot more planning. Shopping gets tricky for many of the same reasons. The world is not set up with gimps in mind. People will be rude to you, and ignore you [you have no idea of how many people will talk to Rob over my head as if I am either not there or I am the village idiot. I am neither dumb nor deaf-mute, I am just a gimp. My body from the waist up works fine, except for the pancreas that is
]
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