am i a bad person for this?

[Green_Fairy]

so let me start this off by saying i'm happily engaged to a freaking awesome dude whom i love and miss so much it's ridiculous.

i just recently added a friend on facebook. we dated briefly before i decided we were better off friends. we haven't talked in almost a year. and apparently in that year, he got married.

i am stupidly jealous. like the moment i saw that i thought to myself "oh hey w got married! ...oh hey...w got...married. huh."

i know he and i would never work out.
i'm ridiculously in love with The Boy.
i would never, never, never do anything to hurt The Boy

what is going on?!

[42_42_42]

could it be because he got hitched first?

[Andara Bledin]

You have a bad case of the "what ifs." It's a hormonal thing.

You obviously had some sort of chemistry going on to have dated, but based on your decision to go back to being friends, not much more.

You shouldn't feel to bad about thinking things like that.

^-.-^

[Plaidman]

Welcome to my world Green! I get jealous all the time when I find out people have so much as a new date...

It just, whatever. Your thinking whatifs. Its fine. Don't worry. You still love your boy, and its no any different now or before you found out friend was married.

[Green_Fairy]

thanks guys. makes me feel sooooo much better. *le sigh* this whole "being human" thing is hard. why is it so hard? i wasn't told it was going to be this hard...this was not in the brochure!

[Andara Bledin]

i wasn't told it was going to be this hard...this was not in the brochure!

Of course it's not on the brochure.

If it was, then nobody would take the trip!

^-.-^

[Jester]

This is perfectly normal. It happens all the time. It is not a matter of what we think...it is a matter of what we do. If you are just thinking, "What the...??!?!" but not actually taking any action, i.e., trying to hook up with W., trying to prevent the wedding, hiring Tongan warriors to kidnap the bride, etc., then you are fine.

I'll give you an example from my own live. My first love was The Enchantress, back in my third (and final) high school. My greatest love, who I have talked about often (some would say ad nauseum) on this site was The Brit.

Now, while I was with The Brit, had I found out that The Enchantress had gotten engaged or married, I would have had issues with it. This would not have meant I loved The Brit any less, nor that I would have left The Brit...these things would NOT have happened. But that would not have changed my reaction. Also, had I found out during the same time period that The Enchantress had gotten a divorce, I would have smiled, maybe even breathed a sigh of relief. Would I have gone dashing out to Arizona to try to woo her? Hell no. Why? I was with the love of my life, The Brit. And as amazing As The Enchantress was, she was not, and would never be, The Brit.

Hell, the same thing happens in my head when I hear that some celebrity I have the hots for has gotten hitched or unhitched. "Sandra Bullock got married? Shit!" "Drew Barrymore got divorced? Woo hoo!" I know, I know...I don't know these celebrities. But the reaction is the same, for the same reason....we often want what we can't have, what we know we can't have, and what we know that even if we could have, we wouldn't have. This is human nature.


(Personal note: When I type about her here, I often wonder if The Enchantress would be amused or annoyed at the title I have bestowed upon her. To be honest, I have no idea which way she would fall on this.)

[BookstoreEscapee]

My ex is an asshole and owes me several thousand dollars, which he clearly has no intention of paying back. My stomach still dropped when I saw he'd gotten married. (Poor girl.)