You CAN live in paradise! (No, really!)

[wagegoth]

Is the Grand-Bastard dead yet?

I regularly check the Social Security Death Index to see which relatives I no longer have to worry about avoiding. http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/ssdi.cgi

[Andara Bledin]

I regularly check the Social Security Death Index to see which relatives I no longer have to worry about avoiding. http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/ssdi.cgi

I... I think my paternal grandfather died on '07. *blink*blink*

^-.-^

[Jester]

UPDATE--bleah!

Oh, the joys of roommate hunting! I can regale you with them just as easily as I can regale you with the joys of root canals, lemon juice enemas, and Jennifer Lopez movie marathons.

In the latest installment, let's see what I have:

--Three emails from three different websites offering their services to find a roommate. These emails were coherent and legible (always a plus), and were for websites that claimed to be X much better than craigslist...and I haven't heard of one of them. And yet they heard of my ad because it was on....craigslist. Hmmm....may give them a chance though. What could it hurt?

--One guy who wanted to rent the place for all of three months. Thank you, no. I don't need to have a Changing of the Roommates as often as most of the country has a Changing of the Seasons!

--Three different people from three different countries inquiring about the room. All of these countries are English-speaking countries, and yet not one of the writers seem to have too much command of the English language. Including the one who allegedly works for her country's government. All of which want me to tell them the details of the room for rent, specifically asking for information that was already in the original ad they responded to. All of them wanting me to accept payment from them for the room before they ever get here or meet me, and all of them asking for my full name, address, and telephone number to expedite this process. To these lovely people--Maria, Kris, and Katie--I'd like to quote Jack Nicholson from As Good As It Gets: "Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here."

--One rather flakey-sounding girl who sounded stoned on the phone. Luckily, I didn't have to give her much of a reason why I wouldn't rent to her, as she has a dog, Mr. Anti-Social wants nothing to do with a pet her, I am not overly fond of the idea of living with most dogs, and the combined refundable pet deposit/non-refundable pet fee at my complex is bordering on criminal. (I've paid less for a car.)

But even in the darkest of places, there are a couple rays of sunlight.

--One reasonably decent sounding fellow who called me (so far the only one who called and didn't email me), who being transferred down here at the right time for the room, who has a steady job, a similar philosophy of life/shared living as Mr. Anti-Social and I, and who, though he may get transferred out of here in six months or so, says he could at that time hook us up with someone else in his company being transferred in. And he doesn't sound like he's puffing on a hash pipe, either.

--One lovely young lady who has been frequenting my bar since she moved here a couple weeks ago who is going to be looking for a place at the end of the month, when my place will be opening up. I gave her my number and told her to call or text me. Frankly, even if she doesn't take the room, I don't really have a problem with her having my number. (And no, I am NOT using the room vacancy to meet chicks--but if that is what it results in, could you blame me?)

Add to all this the fact that I want to get this done soon because of the fact that I very well may be in Phoenix for the last week of May for my niece's high school graduation.

So....y'all sure none of you want to live here?

[Plaidman]

Oh I totally would bro cept

1: No job really right now
2: Trying to get college done
3: Hip. Pain. Owy.
4: I have a pet cat, who I got shortly after I got out of mental hospital. She's my life saver. I need her.

[Jester]

Pulling my hair out!

So, I have received tons and tons of responses to my online ad about my room for rent.

The vast majority of them were from people who live in another country, have been recently relocated to Africa, are being relocated by their corporate job/charity job/government job to my country, and would love to live in my apartment....but cannot actually see the place or meet with me before the move-in date. Despite this, they will pay whatever I ask, want to pay with a check, and want various information about the place that is readily available to them if they had actually read the fucking ad.

Apparently, every bot in the world wants to rent my room.

In other news, I did get two phone calls about it today. One from a dude who sounded either befuddled, stoned, or both. As I was at work, he left a voicemail. I called him back and (surprise!), got no answer, but left a voicemail.

The other one just irritates me. I got an email from a real person yesterday about the room, and called her. She has lived and worked down here for a while, and is interested, but she has a dog. I called her to let her know that this situation would not work because (A) my roommate does not want to live with a dog, period, and (B) my complex charges ridiculous fees for pets. Because she claimed she really wanted to live in the complex, I gave her the complex office's number, so she could check on the pet fees (as things often change here) in case she finds another thing available here. Everyone with me so far?

Well, this girl, who I believe is permanently stoned (this belief is based on the way she talked on the phone and backed up by her statement in her own online ad looking for a place that is "420 friendly"), called me again today, saying the pet fees weren't as high as they used to be, and she was really, really interested in the room if it was still available.

Now, who here can tell me the problem with this picture?

Yes, you in the back.

RIGHT! No matter what the fees are, there is still the very relevant fact that my roommate doesn't want to live with a fucking dog!

Yet more cargo to be loaded onto the ship U.S.S. People Don't Read OR Listen.

[Midnight12]

yeah sure if you dun mind two geeks and a geekling that has learned to squeal loudly. LOL

[Jester]

We kind of want to rent the place to one person. Three bedrooms, three people....it fits.

Add to the "responses" I have gotten from my ad some emails about products that have nothing to do with renting rooms or my ad at all, but yet there they are.

[Evil Queen]

As usual, I'd go but for a couple problems;

1) my dog. Dog over roommates, sorry.
2)I just bought this house last summer.
3) It's in fucking florida. HELL. FUCKING. NO.

Other than that, sounds great.

[Jester]

EQ, the dog and the house, I get. But Key West really isn't like the rest of Florida. Sometimes we are rather embarrassed that we are part of this screwball state, to be honest.

And I continue to get bullshit responses from fictional people, almost all of them taking similar forms. "I'm from another country, I will be moving there soon, you can trust me, send me your info, tell me things about the apartment that were in the ad, your payment will be coming in a money order, blah blah blah blah blah...."

Meanwhile, I see ads for real people who DO want to move down here, but unfortunately, they want to do so later in the summer.

Fuck me.

[Midnight12]

We kind of want to rent the place to one person. Three bedrooms, three people....it fits.

Add to the "responses" I have gotten from my ad some emails about products that have nothing to do with renting rooms or my ad at all, but yet there they are.

was joking around and forgot to add the lol. yeah moving from LA to florida is a stretch to say the least. good luck on finding a roomie though!

[Evil Queen]

EQ, the dog and the house, I get. But Key West really isn't like the rest of Florida. Sometimes we are rather embarrassed that we are part of this screwball state, to be honest.

Address would still say FL on it so hell no. It's nice to fantasize, but it's also way way too wet there. I prefer a dryer, thinner climate. It's easier on my lungs.

Fuck me.

Here? Now? With the internet watching?

[Jester]

So, two possibilities are currently out there.

The first is a guy I mentioned before, who seems somewhat solid, who hasn't been talking to too many other places. It seems our place is tops on our list, which is good, because at the moment, he is tops on ours.

And then there is Butters.

A dude called the other night, and he is supposed to get into town sometime tonight, and either look at the place tonight after I get off work, or tomorrow evening after I get off work. I am hoping for tomorrow, because when I get off work, I really want to go watch the Suns playoff game.

But anyway, this dude seemed very....nervous. Not "I'm a criminal fugitive and I'm hiding from the cops" nervous. Not even "I have done way too many drugs and I'm paranoid about everything" nervous, though I don't discount the possibility he may have been stoned. No, this was more the "on a job interview and trying not to say anything wrong" nervous. He reminded me of Butters from South Park.

Yeah, he's definitely the dark horse at the moment.

was joking around and forgot to add the lol.

Oh, I knew you were joking, trust me. I don't need the lol to figure that out. I may be an idiot, but I'm not THAT much of an idiot.

Oh, almost forgot....LOL!

Here? Now? With the internet watching?

Hell yes! It would sure spice up youtube, don't ya think?

[Jester]

The bizareness continues.

Butter never showed, never returned my calls after he called me two days ago while I was at work and left me a voice mail.

Fuck him if he does call. I do not need someone this unreliable as a roommate. Idiot.

[Kheldarson]

I totally would if I could find a job down there. Honest to God I would. But Kabe would be joining me eventually...

[Jester]

I have no idea who or what Kabe is.....

In more updates, I continue to get bombarded with bullshit responses to my online ad, either the same "I'm interested in your room and live overseas" bullshit, or worse, people who saw my ad for a room for rent and thought it would be perfectly fine to send me emails to tell me about their fine product or service. These people need to leave me the fuck alone.

And more weirdness: got a text from an actual prospective roommate, but through the website where the ad is, or something like that. Asking about the room. I told them to call me, and they said they would "try." Look, if you can't be bothered to call me, what the hell? Or if you can't call me but you can text me, say you can't afford the call, tell me this, give me your number and have me call you. They just seemed insistent that when I get home I read their email and respond, which I did. But seriously? Not making a great first impression, lady.

"If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this place!"