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  • #1

    Fortune Cookie Facepalms

    Ever have a fortune cookie make you do an immediate "WTF REALLY :facepalm: "? Yeah I did today.... My Facebook fortune cookie today read "Decide what you want and go for it". (For why this made me facepalm, reference my thread in Life Advice).

    What are you fortune cookie facepalms?
    Tags: None
  • #2
    "Your dearest wish will come true."

    the Chinese word to learn is "climb."


    I want to hike/climb all 48 4000' peaks in NH before I am 48
    "Getting to the top is optional. Getting down is mandatory." _Ed Viesturs
    "Love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle" Steve Jobs

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    • #3
      ...IN BED!

      !
      "For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction." -- Lord Byron

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      • #4
        A friend of mine got this in a fortune cookie...


        "Please Reorder"


        We just about peed ourselves laughing.

        B
        "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
        I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

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        • #5
          My best friend once got one, and was quite baffled by it, that read... "Wow! A secret message from your teeth!"
          "Oh, the strawberries don't taste as they used to and the thighs of women have lost their clutch!"

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          • #6
            "Now would be a good time to enhance your feminine side." Or some such.

            And I got that one twice. From the same place. TWICE.
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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            • #7
              Okay ya'll win.. Mine was more of a facepalm because of my current situation. But the "Please reorder" one? OMG

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              • #8
                Today's Facebook Fortune Cookie Facepalm? "The night life is for you" .... Really?

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                • #9
                  (Hopefully) not a genuine message, but saw this on a forum picture once.

                  ... That wasn't really chicken.

                  For real ones; I had this once:

                  Only a fool would look to a cookie for words of wisdom

                  Can't beat that. XD
                  People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                  My DeviantArt.

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                  • #10
                    "If the shoe fits, it's probably your shoe."

                    Or then there's the ever dreaded, ominous blank fortune. Just a plain, white slip of paper. Is that a bad sign?
                    The original Cookie in a multitude of cookies.

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                    • #11
                      I'm still waiting for the one that says "HELP!!! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!!!!!!!!!!!"

                      I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                      Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

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                      • #12
                        I got one years ago that I kept:

                        "You are not illiterate"

                        Really?
                        Quote Dalesys:
                        ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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                        • #13
                          A few I've gotten:
                          • The blank one. I laughed soooo hard.
                          • It's time to go to Florida.
                          • Cook a soup in its own broth
                          • I got the aforementioned shoe one.
                          SC: "Are you new or something?"
                          Me: "Yes. Your planet is very backwards I hope you realize."

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                          • #14
                            I got one a few months ago that said something would happen at the beginning of the month. It was 3 days from the end of the month at the time.

                            ^-.-^
                            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                            • #15
                              Not a face palm one, but more of a WTF? REALLY? type. You have to realize I was just dating my husband at the time. Anyway, I went to lunch at a Chinese restaurant with my mother. I open my fortune cookie as we are getting ready to leave and it said "He is already in love with you!" I was like How weird is that?

                              I found out later the message was true. I have never had another fortune cookie that was so truthful about something in my life.
                              Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

                              If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

                              Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.

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