A Series of Unfortunate Events; or The Inconsiderate People I Live With.

[Lindsey]

I love these people, I really do. They're my family. I've dealt with them my entire life and will continue to do so. But sometimes there are some words they need to hear.

Let's start with:

Don't touch my clothing anymore!

My little sister borrows my clothing all the time. Which in itself is okay, because every little sister does that. I don't mind if she wears my stuff as long as it gets into the laundry after, so I can get it back within a reasonable amount of time.

What I do mind is when she wears my belt for two months straight. My only belt, which I need for work, and I see she has two belts of her own hanging in the closet, why not wear those? I've been losing weight lately and every pair of work pants I own is too big in the waist, so I can't wear them without a belt or I end up flashing someone. As a result of this dire lack of belt, I've been wearing really uncomfortable tight black jeans to work, since at least they stay on my waist!

Friday night, my sister came home from school, went upstairs and found me in my room, and handed me my belt. She said she "found" it "again". This made me happy: yay for having my belt back! I put it in my bag and took it to work the next day, along with my baggy comfy work shorts.

I get to work, go to the bathroom to change into these baggy shorts, attempt to buckle my belt.

My belt buckle is snapped clear in half. The prongs that hold it closed have been torn away from the leather and are hanging uselessly.

So I'm stuck here at a nine hour shift wearing shorts that keep sliding down my ass and no belt. Thanks, sister. Could you have mentioned that you broke my belt before you let me take it to work?

Take out the freaking garbage or quit piling trash into the overflowing can!

At 2:00 AM, I'm unable to sleep. I go downstairs to check on my laundry, and between the kitchen and the laundry room sits a pile of toxic waste.

Oh, did I say toxic waste? Sorry, that was supposed to be a garbage can.

There's a pile extending about two feet above this garbage can consisting of milk jugs, cat food cans, shrimp popper wrappers, and yogurt cups. It's spilling everywhere and there's trash behind the can, against the wall, on the floor, in front of the fridge. It's unsanitary and why would you keep putting trash in a can that's piled two feet high above the bag?!

I can't even lift the bag out of the can without spilling more trash everywhere. I have to get a second garbage bag and fill it with the spilled trash before I can remove the original bag and put a fresh one in.

I'm thoroughly disgusted.

Is it that hard to put my laundry in the dryer before you start yours?

This is a phenomenon I rediscover every single day. I get home from work, drag my crate of laundry down to the laundry room and start my laundry so I have clean work clothes for the next day.

I go upstairs to pass the time, and come back an hour later to find my laundry in a soggy pile on top of the dryer and someone else's clothes in the washing machine.

Seriously, is it this hard?

After dealing with the garbage can from hell tonight, I finally got into the laundry room to check on the laundry I'd started hours previously. Sure enough, the dryer contained my brother's Bob Marley hoodie and a pair of socks. My laundry was in a crumpled wet ball in the washing machine.

It looked like he'd found my clean, wet laundry in the washing machine and instead of putting my laundry in the dryer and putting his clothes in for a fresh cycle, he dumped his hoodie and socks in on top of my clean clothes and re-started the load, and then dug through my wet laundry to find his clothes and put them in the dryer.

Not bothering to put my wet laundry in the dryer at any point here. It sits in a soggy ball, tangled around the agitator.

Where the hell are my headphones?

A week ago I let my brother and sister each borrow a pair of my headphones for a car ride so they wouldn't be bored.

Apparently, this means they can take my headphones to school every single morning without asking me, leaving me with no way to listen to music or online lectures on my computer at home.

I haven't seen either pair of headphones since last Sunday.

Thanks, guys.

...

I feel better after writing an essay about these trivial injustices. So, what do your housemates do that drive you up the wall?

[Sliceanddice]

someone needs a padlock for either their door or dresser

[Jester]

I hate to say it, but a decent share of the blame here goes to YOU. You keep allowing your siblings to take advantage of you, of course they are going to keep doing it. Repossess your stuff, put your foot down, let them know that this is no longer acceptable behavior, and mean it. Otherwise they will continue to be lazy and greedy at your expense.

[Lindsey]

someone needs a padlock for either their door or dresser

Or both!

I hate to say it, but a decent share of the blame here goes to YOU. You keep allowing your siblings to take advantage of you, of course they are going to keep doing it. Repossess your stuff, put your foot down, let them know that this is no longer acceptable behavior, and mean it. Otherwise they will continue to be lazy and greedy at your expense.

I've been doing that the entire time, but it never seems to make a difference. If I confront them about borrowing something and not giving it back, they claim that they don't have it and gave it back days ago. Then a period of hours, days or weeks passes, before they finally produce my stuff, claiming that they found it some obscure place like the bathroom or the hallway, which is naturally bull because I live here too, if you left my stuff in the bathroom I would have seen it. They leave my stuff at school or somewhere that's totally inaccessible to me so I can't forcibly take it back.

And as you said, I'm no longer letting them take my stuff without a clear agreement as to when it will be returned. I'm tired of seeing my things disappear and get ruined.

Unfortunately I can't really do anything about the laundry and garbage hijinks since they always bring up that it's our parents' house and rules, not mine, and my mom chooses not to confront them about it.

At least I'm moving out in 3 months so it won't be my problem anymore. Yay college.

[Bented]

A tip from someone who dealt with nightmare roommates in college:

If you can, try to get a single dorm room. My first roommate refused to bathe, and after she flunked out, my next roommate treated the whole floor like a combination hamper and garbage can.

Of course, off campus housing is always a great choice.

[Exaspera]

Padlock your bedroom door. Don't loan them anything.

[Jester]

And as you said, I'm no longer letting them take my stuff without a clear agreement as to when it will be returned. I'm tired of seeing my things disappear and get ruined.

Better idea: don't let them take your stuff at all. That way you don't have to be bothered with a clear agreement or any kind of agreement, you don't have to worry about when it will eventually be returned, and you won't see your things disappear or get ruined.

Unfortunately I can't really do anything about the laundry and garbage hijinks since they always bring up that it's our parents' house and rules, not mine, and my mom chooses not to confront them about it.

Sure you can. Try confronting your mother. And regardless of whether you do that or not, the laundry and garbage are not about whose house or rules it is, it's about common courtesy and respect. Of which you appear to be getting neither.

At least I'm moving out in 3 months so it won't be my problem anymore. Yay college.

You think it won't be your problem anymore, but you are wrong. Perhaps not with these people, but if you don't start using your spine and stop allowing people to walk all over you, you will get similar treatment from future roommates as well. Use your siblings as training for your new assertiveness, not as a seed for your future as a doormat.

[Lindsey]

A tip from someone who dealt with nightmare roommates in college:

If you can, try to get a single dorm room. My first roommate refused to bathe, and after she flunked out, my next roommate treated the whole floor like a combination hamper and garbage can.

Of course, off campus housing is always a great choice.

First year students at my school are required to have a roommate, but I'm applying for a single dorm room next year.

[Mouse]

once years ago my grandfather came to visit my family and would do the exact same thing with the laundry. know how mom finally got him to stop? The next time she went to do a load and found his clothes in the wash she pulled them out and *plop!* right on the floor still soggy, he never did it again, might take a couple times for your faily to get the message but it will work eventually.

and about them borrowing your stuff, just go get it, especially if they tend to leave them in a certain place. And if you see them with something of yours don't wait, don't ask, just tell them "off with it." and take it back right there, this is especially fun if you start putting some kind of a marker on your things like your initials in sharpie so they can't claim its theirs.

[BookstoreEscapee]

First year students at my school are required to have a roommate, but I'm applying for a single dorm room next year.

My school was the same way. (Plus a single room costs more; they are also quite limited in number - only 2 in the dorm I lived in.) Living off campus is not an option unless you are a commuter (meaning you have an established address in commuting distance, not that you got an apartment in town just so you could live off-campus). Seniors can apply to live off campus but there's a lot of senior housing so most don't (a townhouse complex, which I lived in my senior year, and an apartment complex that was started a few years after I left...both options get you 2 bedrooms with 4 people per unit, plus living room, kitchen, bathroom with 2 sinks and 2 showers, and in-unit washer and dryer).

I agree with Jester, though. Odds are there will be something about your roommate that will require you to have a spine once in a while. Trust me, if you don't (and I didn't) you will be miserable. I was lucky and half my hall (26 people and about half freshmen) was miserable and we all played musical rooms at the end of the first semester. You may not be so lucky. Start practicing now.

Oh, and if you do laundry in the dorms...you're gonna run into the same problem. Also people will take your stuff out of the dryer and steal your cycle. If you must leave it unattended, leave your basket on top of the machine - you stand a better chance of at least getting your stuff tossed into the basket and not just dumped on top of the machine.

[Jester]

Not only will your laundry get dumped, it will sometimes get stolen if you don't attend to it in the dorms. My advice for dorm laundry: either sit in the laundry room and read while doing laundry, or know how long each machine (washer and dryer) take, and come back a few minutes before your load is done, so you can attend to it. I found that college kids are impatient, so will move a done load out to make room for theirs, but rarely will they actually stop a machine, empty it out, and steal the machine for their load. As for the stealing, that almost always happened from the dryer, near when it was done, or after it was done. No one's going to steal wet clothes, after all. So long as you show up before your individual cycles are done, you should be fine.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I have seen wet clothes removed from the dryer...wet enough that it had clearly not finished its cycle. Not too often, though.

I never had anything stolen, though.

My dorm's laundry room was in the basement, and there was a big room down there, plus a smaller study room (that was later turned into a "transitional housing" room cuz they were running out of places to put students). I usually did laundry on a weekday afternoon so I didn't have to worry too much about people taking my stuff out, but if I had to do it during a busy time I would just stay in the basement and do homework.

[Eric the Grey]

Unfortunately I can't really do anything about the laundry and garbage hijinks since they always bring up that it's our parents' house and rules, not mine, and my mom chooses not to confront them about it.

At least I'm moving out in 3 months so it won't be my problem anymore. Yay college.

As to the garbage, I have no advice unless you can get your parents to take a stand.

However, I have to take exception to you getting upset at the whole laundry thing. You put your clothes in to wash, and come back hours later to find them having been moved so others can do theirs, and this upsets you?

Seriously, is it that hard to time how long the washer and dryer take and get down there to move them? It's not their responsibility to dry your clothes for you. It's yours.

Sorry to sound snippy about it, but I had to deal with the exact same situation when I lived with my sister and brother-in-law, and her family. I would need to do laundry and would always find clothes in the dryer, and occasionally the washer. I finally got tired of it and dumped everything on the floor. It caused a huge fight between me and sis but eventually I got my point across, but it did take a while.


Eric the Grey

[BookstoreEscapee]

However, I have to take exception to you getting upset at the whole laundry thing. You put your clothes in to wash, and come back hours later to find them having been moved so others can do theirs, and this upsets you?

If this was a laundromat with pay machines I would agree with you, but we're talking the laundry room in their own house. If I go to do laundry and there's stuff in the washer, and the dryer is empty, I toss the stuff in the dryer. It's not that hard. (If the dryer is full but dry I'll either hang stuff up or put it in a basket, depending on the items and my mood.) It's kind of a jackass thing to leave wet clothes laying around when you could toss them in the dryer with minimal extra effort. And if the owner is home, how hard is it to yell upstairs to and say "Hey, come get your laundry out!"

And she said "an hour later" not hours later. My washer takes a good half hour or so. Leaving it to sit for another half hour isn't that unreasonable.

[Eric the Grey]

If this was a laundromat with pay machines I would agree with you, but we're talking the laundry room in their own house. If I go to do laundry and there's stuff in the washer, and the dryer is empty, I toss the stuff in the dryer. It's not that hard. (If the dryer is full but dry I'll either hang stuff up or put it in a basket, depending on the items and my mood.) It's kind of a jackass thing to leave wet clothes laying around when you could toss them in the dryer with minimal extra effort. And if the owner is home, how hard is it to yell upstairs to and say "Hey, come get your laundry out!"

And she said "an hour later" not hours later. My washer takes a good half hour at least. Leaving it to sit for another half hour isn't that unreasonable.

So, because it's family, people are allowed to be inconsiderate? Those not putting someone elses laundry into the dryer or those who leave their laundry sitting in the washer for hours on end are both on the line in this thread, but my personal belief is that the person leaving their laundry is more at fault.

As to the hour/hours, according to the original post:

After dealing with the garbage can from hell tonight, I finally got into the laundry room to check on the laundry I'd started hours previously. Sure enough, the dryer contained my brother's Bob Marley hoodie and a pair of socks. My laundry was in a crumpled wet ball in the washing machine.

IF the OP had moved her laundry when the washer was done, this would not be a problem.


Eric the Grey