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Why can't family be supportive (rant, long, language)
After dealing with my sister and SIL and their snide comments on facebook, and one nasty comment on my wall from my sister, I sent my sister a message in private. I'm tired of being treaded like a verbal punching bag and told her so. I'm going to post the private convo here, with names changed for protection but I do want ya'll's opinion. Some of it talks about a specific lifestyle I lead, which some people know and some don't. It is not a mainstream lifestyle, but I'm not going to put details in here. Help?
ETA: I've seriously been feeling like I'm losing my whole family, either to death or closed mindedness. I can't stand it when people say "I don't mean to judge" and are actually being judgmental.
RHPG May 25 at 11:46pm
You want to talk about people being disrespectful? Have you read the crap that you and SIL have been writing on my wall? You think that hasn't affected me at all? I don't look at it as FUN. But you wouldn't think of that. You wouldn't think that what you're saying is HURTFUL or DISRESPECTFUL. I posted for EVERYONE to not call unless it's an emergency because if I have no money to put on my phone, no one will be able to get ahold of me if there IS an emergency. I have to get a different plan because I couldn't afford mine. You think everything's about smoking but it isn't. Why should I want to talk to you or SIL when ya'll have been nothing but rude, hateful and disrespectful for the past two days?
SISTER May 26 at 8:48am
we have not been any of those things. but when you stop to consider the way you have been for the last two weeks you would deserve it if i was. i try to call and talk to you and you rip my head off. there was never any hurtful or disrespectful comment made TO YOU...if you think there was please show me. oh except for the one on the book thing, but then you were trying to go out of your way to make us look stupid. so you get what you deserve on that one. i am so fed up with the level of self pity you have sunken too lately. ever time i have talked to you in months you are whining about no money, no job, etc.....
your stupid irresponsible choices have given you the life you have. nothing against the people you are living with, but eeewww! to the lifestyle. you wont go out and try to find a job and instead of living in the REAL world you cant get past that 2nd life and larp BULLSHIT! its not real. why cant you face reality? what are you scared of, seeing what you really have become?
you tell me about all the dreams you have....or had. well if you ever want to see any of that come true you are going to have to change. you are completely to blame for your "situation".
I am just tired of listening to you whine about it. You have cost yourself your husband, son, family, friends, jobs, and well pretty much everything. You have diminished yourself to level that i have no respect for you, and im not afraid to tell you that. I however have never deserved to be attacked by you or the "friends" you hand out with.
You need to grow up and face reality. Get a REAL job and get a REAL life, not a second life. How far into this pit of dispair before you wake up? Get over yourself RHPG, You are your own worst enemy!
RHPG May 26 at 2:44pm
You tried to call me at 2am when I'd slept for MAYBE 2 hours a night thanks to insomnia and was finally sleeping, but I'm wrong for wanting to sleep. You say I cost myself my husband? You mean the one who hit me, tried to strangle me when I was pregnant with my son, and was out fucking whores and doing coke? The one who i'm LUCKY i didn't get an STD from since he NEVER used protection. But I cost myself my husband. Well good fucking riddance.
And as for the rest, wow. You say you're open minded and non judge mental. I guess that's the biggest lie you've ever told. Just because my lifestyle isn't yours, you think it's "eww" whatever. You'd probably say the same thing if I told you I was a lesbian apparently. Do your research. Poly households aren't that uncommon anymore. But this is the reason I don't tell you anything. You claim to not be judgmental, but you are. You think everyone has to be like you to be "normal". Well I don't WANT to be "normal" I don't want to be "perfect". I want to be ME, not who everyone wants me to be.
If you want to be my sister, be my sister and stand by me. If you can't handle the life I choose to live, and let me live it without judging me, well... I can't do it anymore. You want to know my dreams? I want to be able to stay home and design web sites. I want to do a job I ENJOY doing. You may not think that's possible because you're stuck in a job you hate, but I actually have people who are SUPPORTIVE of me going after my dreams. I thought my family would be supportive of that too, but I was obviously wrong there.
As for me being bitchy, I'd love to see you quit smoking without a patch and without gum. I've been smoke free now for 2 weeks without anything but sugar free candy and gum. Let me see you do that, and NOT be bitchy.
I've tried to be there for you when you need a shoulder. I really have, but I can't be there for someone who's just going to turn around and be a bitch about every single thing I say. You came onto MY post on MY facebook and tried to make ME look stupid. I just defended myself. People ask why I don't stick up for myself to you and SIL, did you know that? Know what I had to tell them? Because it only makes it worse. And you proved that. And I didn't have my FRIEND attack you. He posted without me talking to him, but you obviously think everyone's out to get you. Stop thinking everything's about YOU Sister and start thinking that there are other people in the world who live differently from you. Understand that nobody is "normal" or "perfect" and if they were the world would be a very boring place indeed. Maybe when you open your mind and your heart to other ways of thinking and living and loving, you'll understand that you're not right about everything and that people do see the world from different perspectives. I don't see the world the same way you do, and I never will. Maybe one day you'll see I don't have to.
You want to talk about people being disrespectful? Have you read the crap that you and SIL have been writing on my wall? You think that hasn't affected me at all? I don't look at it as FUN. But you wouldn't think of that. You wouldn't think that what you're saying is HURTFUL or DISRESPECTFUL. I posted for EVERYONE to not call unless it's an emergency because if I have no money to put on my phone, no one will be able to get ahold of me if there IS an emergency. I have to get a different plan because I couldn't afford mine. You think everything's about smoking but it isn't. Why should I want to talk to you or SIL when ya'll have been nothing but rude, hateful and disrespectful for the past two days?
SISTER May 26 at 8:48am
we have not been any of those things. but when you stop to consider the way you have been for the last two weeks you would deserve it if i was. i try to call and talk to you and you rip my head off. there was never any hurtful or disrespectful comment made TO YOU...if you think there was please show me. oh except for the one on the book thing, but then you were trying to go out of your way to make us look stupid. so you get what you deserve on that one. i am so fed up with the level of self pity you have sunken too lately. ever time i have talked to you in months you are whining about no money, no job, etc.....
your stupid irresponsible choices have given you the life you have. nothing against the people you are living with, but eeewww! to the lifestyle. you wont go out and try to find a job and instead of living in the REAL world you cant get past that 2nd life and larp BULLSHIT! its not real. why cant you face reality? what are you scared of, seeing what you really have become?
you tell me about all the dreams you have....or had. well if you ever want to see any of that come true you are going to have to change. you are completely to blame for your "situation".
I am just tired of listening to you whine about it. You have cost yourself your husband, son, family, friends, jobs, and well pretty much everything. You have diminished yourself to level that i have no respect for you, and im not afraid to tell you that. I however have never deserved to be attacked by you or the "friends" you hand out with.
You need to grow up and face reality. Get a REAL job and get a REAL life, not a second life. How far into this pit of dispair before you wake up? Get over yourself RHPG, You are your own worst enemy!
RHPG May 26 at 2:44pm
You tried to call me at 2am when I'd slept for MAYBE 2 hours a night thanks to insomnia and was finally sleeping, but I'm wrong for wanting to sleep. You say I cost myself my husband? You mean the one who hit me, tried to strangle me when I was pregnant with my son, and was out fucking whores and doing coke? The one who i'm LUCKY i didn't get an STD from since he NEVER used protection. But I cost myself my husband. Well good fucking riddance.
And as for the rest, wow. You say you're open minded and non judge mental. I guess that's the biggest lie you've ever told. Just because my lifestyle isn't yours, you think it's "eww" whatever. You'd probably say the same thing if I told you I was a lesbian apparently. Do your research. Poly households aren't that uncommon anymore. But this is the reason I don't tell you anything. You claim to not be judgmental, but you are. You think everyone has to be like you to be "normal". Well I don't WANT to be "normal" I don't want to be "perfect". I want to be ME, not who everyone wants me to be.
If you want to be my sister, be my sister and stand by me. If you can't handle the life I choose to live, and let me live it without judging me, well... I can't do it anymore. You want to know my dreams? I want to be able to stay home and design web sites. I want to do a job I ENJOY doing. You may not think that's possible because you're stuck in a job you hate, but I actually have people who are SUPPORTIVE of me going after my dreams. I thought my family would be supportive of that too, but I was obviously wrong there.
As for me being bitchy, I'd love to see you quit smoking without a patch and without gum. I've been smoke free now for 2 weeks without anything but sugar free candy and gum. Let me see you do that, and NOT be bitchy.
I've tried to be there for you when you need a shoulder. I really have, but I can't be there for someone who's just going to turn around and be a bitch about every single thing I say. You came onto MY post on MY facebook and tried to make ME look stupid. I just defended myself. People ask why I don't stick up for myself to you and SIL, did you know that? Know what I had to tell them? Because it only makes it worse. And you proved that. And I didn't have my FRIEND attack you. He posted without me talking to him, but you obviously think everyone's out to get you. Stop thinking everything's about YOU Sister and start thinking that there are other people in the world who live differently from you. Understand that nobody is "normal" or "perfect" and if they were the world would be a very boring place indeed. Maybe when you open your mind and your heart to other ways of thinking and living and loving, you'll understand that you're not right about everything and that people do see the world from different perspectives. I don't see the world the same way you do, and I never will. Maybe one day you'll see I don't have to.
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