Oh, Of Course!

[Heksubah]

I lost my job about a month ago. I've been searching and have a great job that I will probably be able to land (and should know this week, no less). This new job is a dream job and I can't wait to hear back from them.

The problem?

I budgeted my paychecks so that I could pay my bills on time for a month (as that is all the remaining money I had). And due to a snafu with my references (why can my references not return friggin' phone calls when I spoke to them and they said they would?!) the delay on finding out if I get this job has pushed me past that limit. Me, meet shit creek.

I live with family and pay my bills to family and have managed, for a month, not to tell them about losing this job. Trust me, it has been a feat, and trust me... it is necessary for my sanity. My mother is... let's not even go there. I love her, but we have issues. I am past due on paying her and have not enough to make the payment. If I could only cover this week I'd be set and could tell her about the new job and go from there.

I have to pay her by morning so I'm just sick with worry because if I have to tell her... my quality of life will die, just die. I'm already super depressed and hating on myself a lot lately. As to why I have to pay her? Well, she helped me get my car so the payments are in her name, and for my phone and insurance I'm on a family plan. I just always turn over payments to her.

Pardon me ranting. I'm just trying to vent and unload because I'm killing myself with panic right now. I have always had problems with panic attacks and anxiety and this isn't helping. I've bottled this in so long and have told almost no one at all what is going on because I'm just... scared.

So thanks for listening. I just needed to vent that and get it off my shoulders.

[Taboo]

Is it possible to borrow the difference from a friend or is it too much of a difference? Obviously if something goes very wrong and you do not get this job, you'll have to tell your family, but if you just have a week more off and then get it then it might save you some stress.

[Heksubah]

No, unfortunately I cannot borrow from friends. Most of my friends are as strapped as I am right now.

And on top of all this my car needs a minimum 1300 repair (A/C Compressor) and the IRS is hitting me up for 900 bucks for a really wonky situation that could never have been anticipated. Life is after me right now.

[Solumina]

Tell her that with the car repairs and money due to the IRS that you cannot may her at the moment but that you should be able to pay her back when your next paycheck comes in. Also you need to tell her about the job situation, even if you fudge the data a bit and tell her that you just lost it but think you have already managed to line something up (because lets be realistic even if you get this job when will you get the first check? I would doubt it would be the first day, also won’t she be curious as to why you got the new job?). Parents can be crazy but they can also be remarkably accepting as long as you speak with them honestly.

[Heksubah]

Most parents can be accepting. My mother... cannot. This is a woman who told me I was lazy after I was sexually abused by a roommate and had my other roommate sabotage my job (we all worked at the same company) and I had to move into my car cause I had no where else to go. I lived in a car for 5 months at that point in my life. During those 5 months I spoke to her a couple times on payphones and at one point she told me, "If you ever reach your lowest, and can go no further, have hit rock bottom in your life... you should call me... and I will take you to a homeless shelter."

That sums up my mother, while leaving off years of other horrible things she did to me. We are tenuously getting along right now but I cannot use the car repairs (unnecessary, I can drive it with the air off) and the IRS issue (waiting to hear back from them and she knows it) to avoid paying her.

[Amina516]

If you cant pay her, then you cant pay her.

Short of winning the lottery, you're going to have to try and level with her. Maybe approach your dad first?

Your mom sounds like a hard ass, so I dont know how she'll take it, but I really do wish you the best.

[Heksubah]

Eh, my dad is 3-4 hours away from us and isn't really a part of this scenario.

[Der Cute]

Oy vey.

Have you chatted with the IRS to cut it up into payments? And remember the a/c in a car can be rechargable - with a can of a/c gas, purchased at car part store.

Hugs, and hope you figure something out soon. Hey, I'll even take a few of your gray hairs from this one.

[Heksubah]

The A/C is charged. The compressor is not pulling in the freon that is there. I've had two car places look at it (one owned by family friends). The lowest cost on the repair I can find right now is 1400.

As for the IRS, that is why I'm waiting to hear back from them. I'm trying to prove that the charges are invalid, and if they won't accept that I have requested a payment plan.

*starts plucking gray hairs and looks for a hot glue gun* Where you want those bad boys stuck on?

[Solumina]

What kind of a car do you drive? I only ask because I need to get the same thing fixed in mine and all of the estimates I have gotten are way below that, though I was told that my compressor is much more accessible than most so maybe it is added labor costs, still seems a bit high, maybe you look into getting the part yourself and try to find a good deal.

Sorry that your mom is such a hard ass but it isn't like telling her is going to change your living situation. You owe her money that you don't have, you may as well let her know why.