Hilarious absense excuse notes

[flutes_and_fabric]

These are notes collected from parents by my mentor teacher. A couple of them were handed in while I was with her. This is a middle school mind you (that's important to remember for one of the ones at the bottom). Original spellings are included. Edit: These were collected over many years of teaching and can be found other places as well. The teacher who collected them used to teach Educational Psychology at the University of Texas and is now teaching once again in a middle school because she missed the kids. I thought I'd post them here for people who haven't come across them before.

My son is under doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today, She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from pe for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very lose veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in () crossed out]

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

PLeAse exCUSE mARie, sHE OvErslePt anD I DidnT HAVe anY gas IN the cAr.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

[It's me]

Ummmm...... You know this has previously been posted all over the Internet and is not original?

e.g.
http://www.google.ca/search?q=Dear+S...ient=firefox-a

[flutes_and_fabric]

Ummmm...... You know this has previously been posted all over the Internet and is not original?

e.g.
http://www.google.ca/search?q=Dear+S...ient=firefox-a

Yes, I know that these have already been posted online because this teacher hands them out in her classes at her University and they have spread. I was with her for my Middle school rotation. I thought I'd post them here for people who have never seen them and might get a kick out of it. I never claimed that these were mine. They were originally collected by a professor who taught at the University of Texas. I was cleaning and came across the sheet she gave me. Two were added when I was with her, the rest could be old or recent, I don't know.

Just because you found something on the internet doesn't mean it just randomly appeared. It came from somewhere.