I know I was an idiot as a child...

[Imogene]

Don't laugh, you were too.
Shall I give an example?
My parents used to constantly refer to 'ABC' gum... and me, being the idiot that I was and still probably am, thought to myself, "Hey, I wonder what the alphabet tastes like..." and was constantly on the watch for 'ABC' gum. Then I grew up and filled out my puzzle loving brain, and realized what the 'ABC' stood for, so, the alphabet tastes like the inside of someone else's mouth.

Your turn.

[JustaCashier]

Sticking [heh] with the gum theme:

As a kid, I believed what probably all of us were told, that if you swallow your gum it'll stay in your gut forever. I actually continued to believe that well into adulthood, around age 35.

One day, I was hanging with my friends and their then around four or five year old daughter. The little girl swallowed her gum, and I'm like OMG!

Well, I didn't exactly panic, but was very concerned that she wasn't making a habit of it. So, I told her Mom.

Mom: "So?"
Me: "Well, it's gonna sit in her stomach forever!"
Mom: "No it's not! Why do you think that?"
Me: "Well, it was something I was told as a kid."
Mom: "Well, it's not going to do that, it'll just pass!"
Me: *DUH!*


So, that made sense, and the only thing I reason I can think of for still believing it would sit in the gut, is that I believed it so strongly as a kid, but didn't give it much as I got older, so it just stuck [heh] in the back of my brain as being a truth.


Mike

[Plaidman]

This story is still told by my mom today to much much laughter.

We had a really crappy car, and being poor, mom was alway saying when she won lottery she'll finally buy a nice car. Me, being the six year old kid desperate for any attention and love, decided to buy mom a car. I saw the prices at the parking lots, and saved up my money from allowence/borrowing/bottle returns/ my own lottery (Parents would buy me bingo tickets, and whatever I won I'd get half), etc.

I finally saved up about 90 bucks. Enough for a new car. I told mom that I was going to buy her the new car. She laughed. I showed her the money, and said it was enough because the car prices would range only from $78-$88 from what I seen.
That's when I learned all those numbers on the cars were the car YEARS, not the car PRICES.

[terakhan]

I hate to admit it, but this is one of mine:

Easter morning, running into my parent's room, "The Easter Bunny is sick! He had the Easter Opossom drop off my basket!"

Mom thought it would be cute to leave my basket outside, as if the bunny had dropped it off, and the local oversized rat was checking out the eggs.

No damage done, but its been over 20 years and I still haven't heard the last of it.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

... I used to chew on the tar that dripped off the roof of our housing when I was a kid. I also chewed on practically everything, including the banister and living room table. I was like a hamster or something... but without the awesome fur.
I also did the gum thing, like JustaCashier, but got broken of it earlier. I also had an irrational fear of Yeerks, slug-like things that would go into your ear and take over your brain, from The Animorphs. ... I would sleep with blankets over my head and everything. Yay fourth grade.

[Plaidman]

I also had an irrational fear of Yeerks, slug-like things that would go into your ear and take over your brain, from The Animorphs. ... I would sleep with blankets over my head and everything. Yay fourth grade.

I loved that book series.

Even if the ending made me cry.

Terrible way to end the series. But I guess it had to happen that way.

[blas]

The gum thing, my parents always said it lasted in your tummy for 7 years. I have like, five lifetimes of gum in there, then.

[Stormraven]

Don't laugh, you were too.
Shall I give an example?
My parents used to constantly refer to 'ABC' gum... and me, being the idiot that I was and still probably am, thought to myself, "Hey, I wonder what the alphabet tastes like..." and was constantly on the watch for 'ABC' gum. Then I grew up and filled out my puzzle loving brain, and realized what the 'ABC' stood for, so, the alphabet tastes like the inside of someone else's mouth.

Your turn.

Maybe I'm missing something here, but I don't get the reference.

[Food Lady]

Already Been Chewed It took me a minute to remeber.

[Whiskey]

I remember sitting in the car, terrified, because my grandma was drinking her coffee in plain view of everyone on the road. Drinking and driving is illegal, grandma!!!

[Stormraven]

Ah. Never heard that phrase, so it's no surprise I didn't pick up on it.

[Plaidman]

My mom reminded me of this one.

We were at the store, and being a greedy little sonofabitch, I was asking if I could have anything. She kept telling me no she's broke, no she's broke stop asking, she' broke etc.

At home, mom realized she forgot the milk and gave some money to sister to go to store down street to get milk. I saw this handoff of money and started to jump up and down.

"YOUR FIXED YOUR FIXED!"

Mom gave a WTF look.

"You said you were broke in the store! Now your fixed! YAAAAAAAAY!"

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Oh now that's just cute! You must have been so adorable as a kidlet!

[Seshat]

We were washing the walls. I was "helping".

"Mum, does God like clean walls?"

"Yes, dear."

"I think I'll go ask Him."

And I ran outside and prayed to the sky, then came in and said "He does, Mum!"


... it gets better.

"Mum, does Santa like clean walls?"

"Why don't you go ask him?"

And I ran outside and prayed to the sky again.

Then shouted "No, not you, God! You've had your turn!"

[Mishi]

I remember sitting in the car, terrified, because my grandma was drinking her coffee in plain view of everyone on the road. Drinking and driving is illegal, grandma!!!

Thank God, I'm not the only one!
My family was tee-total until I was 11, so when we were stopped at an RBT when I was 5-6, I didn't know what the officer meant when he asked if Dad had had anything to drink.
Policeman: Sir, have you had anything to drink tonight?
Dad: No, officer.
Me: Don't lie to the policeman, Daddy! You had a drink at my aunty's house!
Policeman: I'll ask again, have you had anything to drink tonight?
Dad: NO! I haven't!
Me: But Dad, you had a Sprite! You're not supposed to tell lies!

I couldn't understand why everyone started laughing at me.