Tales of the Gentle Giant.

[Mytical]

This came about from another thread, and is just for amusement and to help me get past my current depression.

Now most people around me know that under normal conditions, I wouldn't hurt a flea. However, yes..even I have my limits on what I can take, and most people know these signs.

1) I start shaking. This is the first sign that people should back off.
2) I start crying. Yes I am a big wuss, but this is the second more important sign.
3) Without a 'wind down' I stop crying (ie it is a sudden and total stop). By now if people have not clued in to the other signs..it is too late.

All the following stories have one common element. Somebody who knows the signs was present, and somebody who either didn't know or didn't care was also.

The first was when I was much younger, before I put on a lot of weight and was pretty healthy. I had a bad day, and my neighbor was pushing all the wrong buttons while we were on the bus from school to home. My brother was there..and he saw the signs.

We got off the bus, and my brother immediately got between me and the neighbor. At the time he was actually larger then me (he passed away a couple of years ago, but he hadn't been larger then me for several years before he passed away. He stopped growing at 5'9" about.) I had suddenly stopped crying, and he knew what that meant. He picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me up the little hill to our house. The whole time my father was yelling "Let him go, he will take care of it!" My brother just looked back at the neighbor and said. "Run, now. He won't hurt me, because he is not mad at me, but he will break you in two." They listened.

The second time was a bit later in life. I was around 30 (I think) and had gotten to almost 290 then (maybe higher?). Two of my cousins were there, one of which knew me like a brother (almost) (lets call this one V), and his actual brother who me and the one was not that close (Lets call this one J). Now J loved to pick on me, especially since he knew I would never really fight back. So he was really piling it on that day. Well V noticed the first sign. He warned J that that was enough, he really needed to back off.

J of course just pushed harder. V saw the second sign (J was practically crowing about making me cry), and yelled. "Stop it NOW, he is going to get angry." J of course laughed at that. "What's he going to do, cry on me?" and pushed harder.

When I suddenly stopped..V did what my brother did to me to his brother. Basically picked him up, and CARRIED him. All the time saying a string of curse words and calling his brother an idiot.

The last one was my nephew (which was actually a misunderstanding..and skipped most of the signs)..

He was telling a story to my mom about something that happened that day. I didn't know that though. All I saw when I come into the kitchen (where the discussion was taking place) was he had his hand raised, and it looked like he was going to hit my mom. That was NOT going to happen. Luckily for him, since I had babysit him and his brother and sister he knew the look..and there was a table between me and him. He made it to the back door, and was gone in a heartbeat. I chased after him, the whole time my mom was chasing me saying "It's not what it looked like!!!"

[Mishi]

My Dad and my brother have similar warning signs, except my Dad tends to wait for an opportune moment to embarass the person that has annoyed him nowadays whereas my brother blacks out when he loses his temper. My shortass (5'5"), skinny self can out-stare and yell down my pissed off (6'+ and over twice my weight) brother even while he's at the black-out point. He's not allowed in my house without our dad present though, just because I've done it in the past doesn't mean it'll work in the future.

[Mytical]

*nods* My sister is immune to my wrath as well, so is my mom and dad. If they get in my path, they can calm me down without fear..and know it. Yes I have the blacking out/feel no pain bit..but they know I wouldn't hurt them for the world.

[Mishi]

*nods* My sister is immune to my wrath as well, so is my mom and dad. If they get in my path, they can calm me down without fear..and know it. Yes I have the blacking out/feel no pain bit..but they know I wouldn't hurt them for the world.

I'm not immune unfortunately, just too damn stubborn. He tried (and failed) to throw me through a glass door. I only won the argument because he realised that I wasn't backing down. He hasn't mouthed off to me since and I'm the only one he seems to respect.

[Whiskey]

I'm in more of a "You better kill me or ill haunt you till your dying day" breed. I've only lost my temper ONCE and I almost.. went to prison for a long time.

Go brief moments of clarity.

[Amina516]

You guys remind me of my Sis in law...who blacked out in a public park while holding a knife (we were getting ready to cut a cake) and arguing with her fucked up and ignorant brother. Good times. She "woke up" on the other side of the playground (knifeless), sitting next to a tree with my cousin and her husband trying to talk to her. :angel"

At least you know the signs and have people that care who know the signs.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I wish I was that bad-ass. I tend not to get angry. Like, at all. Only about big, political stuff do I get angry, and, naturally, can't swoop in like a superhero and fix everything. I've actually been concerned about not holding on to anger like other people do-- I get un-angry in like ten minutes. Rarely do I stay pissed or upset for more than an hour.
When push does come to shove, however, I leave. Run away, exit before I snap arms, people always call me a scaredy-cat and coward because of it-- I just don't want to go incoherent and screamy on them! I really can't stand up for myself in a streamlined, cohesive, coherent way, which leads to silly. I should probably cultivate the bad-ass cool. Somehow. I don't get confronted a lot, and that's left me with some bad situations.

[Mytical]

Most of the time, yeah leave the area before anything happens. It takes a enormous amount to get me angry. Here is the long and short of why..

When I was a kid, I had a temper. I've always been .. big, and even use to protect my brother who was several grades higher then me in school..from people in a higher grade then him. Since when I got angry, I lost the ability to feel pain..it was easy to be the one everybody was scared of. This is not bragging, this is actually saying that I hated what I was then. It only got worse when they tried anti depressants on me..made attila the hun look like a girl scout.

One day..when I was like 11, some teenagers decided that strength in numbers would do the trick. 3 of them (around 14-15 each I think) decided they were going to ambush me. Now I personally have no clue what happened. When I 'came to' one was unconscious, another was running, and one was looking at me as if I had sprouted horns and was breathing fire. Had the face.

I realized I could hurt somebody. So I started taking meditation, and become very zen like. Now it takes a small miracle before I get mad. Walking away is SOOO much better. It takes more strength to walk away .

I never want to go back to that. Ever. I LIKE being the Gentle Giant now. I even feel bad if I hurt an insect. I've studied religions, philosophies, and now have a new life. One where if you come to my house, you are treated as family. Regardless of who/what you are. There is only a few rules.

1) ALL differences are left outside. Religious, nationality, political..everything. Absolutely no hate talk allowed of any kind.
2) Acknowledge the differences, and celebrate them..don't hate because of them.
3) Serve yourself, first come first serve, if you don't get enough to eat it is your own fault. Cause seriously...enough is made to eat..ya just got to get to it before everybody else.
4) Yes, we are very grateful for the food, but not everybody is a christian. Anybody who wants can say grace (and nobody had better say a word about those who do, or the person who says anything will be asked to leave) but don't expect everybody to join in.
5) You WILL respect your elders, or you will leave. Simple really.
6) As with 4, your traditions are your own. I don't care if you have to stand on your head singing polly wolly doodle all the day. Go for it, again..don't expect everybody to join in. And again, nobody HERE will say anything against those traditions. Or they will leave.
7) I call dibs on at least one glass of lemonade. Reach for it, and you will have a fork in your hand. .

Simple enough.

[Mytical]

You know, I always wondered where the girls that always say "I want a nice guy" were for 36 years. Being dreadfully shy, but one of the nicest guys you could meet (and besides a few extra pounds..I am considered handsome) I never actually met one that preferred a nice guy to the more forward 'jerks'.

Oh I've been through it all. The 3am calls crying because they were abused, cheated on, drunk...you know the drill. Did the long drives to rescue them from whatever trouble they or their boyfriend had gotten them into.

No, I don't mean the tripping over myself to give them 'stuff' type nice. Or stalkery type shy. Maybe because I do follow SOME 'old fashion' values? I actually enjoy opening doors, picking up the bill (if I invite them..then again if I invite anybody I do the same...*shrugs*), and such. Though I don't subscribe to the old fashion 'barefoot and pregnant' bit, and if they invite me out..have no trouble with them paying. Bah I am rambling again (I do that..a lot).

Since I can't even figure myself out half the time, I guess figuring out females is really out of the question. Then again, can't figure out most guys either..so what chance do I have of figuring out females?

Guess working 3rd shift, having no social life, and being shy didn't help huh? At least I did eventually find somebody who was aggressive enough. Lol of course I won't actually meet them in person till Thursday..and it has been since Jan 1st that we started a net relationship (slow and steady wins the race)..I think all this is just jitters ... nerves..whatever. I have..issues with interpersonal relationships face to face..but I must cease the day.

[Mytical]

Panic Attacks

Didn't really know where to put this, but AAAAHHHHHH..

I am totally freaking out about two trips I am taking here shortly. I've never ever been on long trips, and I don't handle somethings well..like heavy traffic. I know for a fact I will be driving solo for one of these, and anxiety has me not sleeping well. I am a nervous wreck! I SOOO need this though, because if I stay around here for much longer with the drama going on I am going to have to check myself into a psyche ward or something.

The first trip is still a couple days away, but I can't concentrate or sit still, pacing and fretting. Ranting, yeah doing that too. Just THINKING about it is driving me nuts, I have no clue what it is going to be like when I actually DO it.

that is what I currently feel like. Yet..I am really really looking forward to it. Ok ... ok rant off for now.

[Mikkel]

I'm a worrier myself but when you are out on the road, you'll probably find that doing the thing isn't half as bad as worrying before.
A thought which sometimes help me is that this time next week it will be done, just a few days more and it's over (and you will probably be sad that it is over).
Heavy traffic is stressing, take your time and if you can't get your exit, just go on and circle back. Do you have a GPS? It will be handy when you are a strange place, go to far and has to circle back without a copilot.

[Mytical]

Oh yes. Since I can get lost in the town I live in...I have a GPS. It is basically as essential for me as Water is

[Mytical]

Some people who know me from elsewhere might read this and scratch their head. Before repeating this anywhere else, please PM me first. I just had to get this off my chest.

"Dear John" letters SUCK. Especially when you know you did nothing wrong, and that it is because of some serious life issues the other person has. Also, when you wanted to be there for them during this time.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen..the gentle giant has just gotten a "Dear John" letter..so right now his heart is sore. There is no ill will toward the person, they are going through a heck of a lot. I am more then happy to remain friends with them. I wish them nothing but the best, and happiness.

That doesn't stop it from hurting, even if you understand. So right now I am a bit numb, hurt, and sad. A lot of people, friends, who I've told give me the "Be a man and suck it up". Others try to placate me by 'it's their loss'. Which I guess is what people say. It will hurt for awhile, because I wear my heart on my sleeve..(figure of speech), but as long as she is happy or will find happiness..I am ok. Pain is fleeting, even heartbreak.

[Peppergirl]

Honey - I'm so sorry.

You know how to reach me.

Coffee soon?

[KiaKat]

*hugs Mytical*

I'm sorry hon. You know how to reach me if you want to talk. Voice is gone for the moment, so I'm limited to text/email/PM, but still willing to be a listening ear.