Dating/Girl Horror Stories....

[FArchivist]

Of course, it could have been that the woman had no soul and was just trying to eat FARchivist's once she got her hands on it... >_>

I endorse this theory. *assumes commercial endorsement pose*

[ShadowBall]

I've only had one failed relationship (became friends with the guy again after about a year), but boy he was sure a special one. My ex was a delightful combination of possessive and over-protective, and he didn't start showing his ass until we'd been dating for about a year. Since I was naive about relationships at this age, I thought what he was doing was normal.

Here are some of Ex's greatest hits:

• Told me I was not allowed to talk to my male friends because they were male.
  
  
• No one else - male or female - was allowed to hug or touch me.
  
  
• Not allowed to masturbate because he felt he was more than enough to sate my sexual cravings.
  
  
• Required me to talk to him on the phone for at least two hours each night. Over summer break, he demanded that I speak to him for at least two hours in the afternoon and two at night. Often times we wouldn't even say anything...I'd be playing in MS Paint and he'd be playing video games and I'd just say, "Beep if you want something."
  
  
• When told I would be going to college instead of living with him for a year, he proposed to me every day for two weeks using rings out of gumball machines and that he stole from his mother's jewelry box. He felt that if we were engaged, there was no chance I'd cheat on him in college.
  
  
• Upon being turned down following each proposal, he decided he would do one of two things: Attend a college in the same city as me, or live in my dorm room with me, somehow ninja-ing his way past roommates, RAs and security.
  
  
• Said he'd kill himself if I ever left him.
  
  
• Upon learning I was considering breaking up with him, he asked what he did wrong and how he could make me change my mind. I told him if he didn't stop acting like a douche-nozzle by the time one month had elapsed, I was gone. He behaved like an absolute angel for exactly one month, and then went back to being himself. He interpreted what I said as, "If I act like a normal boyfriend for just a month, she'll stay with me forever."
  
  
• I wanted to leave him for someone else. He argued with me for several hours in my crush's front yard and then told me that he disagreed with my breaking up with him and if I went on to date someone else, he'd tell everyone I was cheating on him because he didn't give me permission to leave him.
  
  
• Promised to go on a killing spree with one of his swords and cut off my crush's head (and then kill himself) to get back at me.
  
  
• Got very angry when I said I loved my friends. According to him, only one kind of love exists: that between significant others, and if I loved my friends, then I must have been cheating. When I asked him if he loves his mother like he loves me (because there's only one kind of love), he said he didn't love his mother.

He's an alright friend now, but yeesh, he made me miserable when we were dating.

I didn't read back far enough about the hysterectomy failing as birth control, but I found out some time ago that another fun place miraculously-fertilized embryos like to implant when there is no uterus is the abdominal wall, and it's an act of (deity) when they are viable. Google "abdominal pregnancy" - total craziness that you can be devoid of female plumbing and still conceive.

[protege]

It's her new roommate. Apparently she'd been arrested for solicitation. Somewhere between when I last saw her and then, she'd gone from being AM at a KFC to being a waitress at a strip club, and got arrested by an undercover cop. I was apparently in her address book as someone to call in an emergency.

Karma's a bitch that way. I'm sure I've posted about my last relationship drama...all of which ended about 10 years ago Anyway, I was dating a girl in college, and for a couple of years after that. Then, she got a job 500 miles away, didn't want to talk about things, let her *mother* tell me things were over...and then "disappeared" for 6 months.

What happened in that 6 months? Karma kicked her ass, much harder than I could have. She not only *lost* her "good job," but she lost her apartment, car, and was forced to move into a shitty housing project. Now she's working odd jobs, and up until recently, was constantly going on about how her boyfriend (now husband) let her drive his Mercedes Like I said, all of that ended back in 2001.

What sucks, is that even online, most people see what I look like, and then I never hear from them again. First dates, are usually last dates, in many cases. Also sucky, is that I'm supposed to "get to know" someone. But, if I try to let them into "my world," it's all over

[telecom_goddess]

What sucks, is that even online, most people see what I look like, and then I never hear from them again. First dates, are usually last dates, in many cases. Also sucky, is that I'm supposed to "get to know" someone. But, if I try to let them into "my world," it's all over

I went and looked up your photo on here and you look fine to me...I don't know what people's problems are with you.....but whatever I guess

[blas]

Nothing wrong with what you look like, protege.

[protege]

Thanks for the kind words--I appreciate that.

[Mytical]

Protege..I can understand. Have had three dates, and so far..am 0 for 3. My picture won't even upload to the album here (I've tried).

I can also understand the feeling absolutely worthlessness when depressed that some people here said they feel. 36 years of being told you are worthless sort of takes roots, and even though when I am 'normal' (or as normal as I get) I know it isn't true..when I get depressed nothing can convince me otherwise.

Shadowball wow that ex was .. special. Never figured out why when going out/marrying/etc with somebody people think they own them.

[SengaKitty]

Well, I don't know if it's so much a "nightmare" but ohmahgawd can we say cheesiest pick up EVAR?!

Tell me...would your dazzling eyes keep their beguiling gaze...and would your luscious hair keep its silky softness...were you to be immersed within the sweet steaminess; of a romantic candle-lit
bubble-bath; while an adoring gentleman suitor pampers you in the most seductively erotic ways?

I do believe I wish to *be* that gentleman...

[Eisa]

^I dunno, depending on context, that might be sweet.

Or creepy. Really, really creepy.

[Solumina]

Yeah I'm leaning towards creepy

[Rapscallion]

I'd say that's the sort of line you use when you actually know someone pretty damn well.

Rapscallion

[SengaKitty]

Except that it was sent in a message on a dating site. Yep, as the *third* message the guy had sent me. Up til then, he'd been pretty normal.

[zombiequeen]

Dang, if my hubby said that to me, well it best not be shared here. But it would be really sweet of him.

[ArcticChicken]

Dang, if my hubby said that to me, well it best not be shared here. But it would be really sweet of him.

If my boyfriend said that to me, I'd ask him when he installed a bathtub big enough for one person, let alone two.

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh, I have some horror stories... of course none as bad as Whiskey's but here goes. Starting with most recent.
I was set up for a date (this was about a year before I met my fiance). From how my friend described this guy he should have been perfect for me, college education, good job, into technology, have a lot of interests in common. Should be a match in heaven, right... no.
What my friend forgot to mention, but I found out on the first date is that this guy was 36 (I was 22, and while age difference isn't that big of an issue, not mentioning that you are 14 years older than someone when you are setting up the date, becaues he knew my age, just kind of sets a bad vibe) and he was a stoner (seriously dude, 36 and still doing pot). Oh and during the date, we went to a decent restaurant, and he spent the entire time checking twitter, specifically Ashton's twitter feed. Yeah, that was a first and last date.

Before that were two guys, neither of which turned into dates. One was a guy on facebook that I knew because we were both part of an online advocacy group and he happened to live about 45 minutes away from me. I enjoyed chatting with him because I kind of viewed him as a mentor (he was 60something and I was 22). Finally one day while we were IMing each other, talking about current issues, he said "can we finally drop the pretense, when can I come over and teach you the true meaning of being a man, that cherry needs to be popped eventually"... yeah, he got blocked really fast.

At about the same time (22 was not a good year for me), I had a classmate who was also a coworker (in fact I had gotten him the job). Some of you may already be familiar with this story (bits and pieces of it have been posted, but I don't think I've ever written out the whole thing in one place).
It starts out not too bad, he'd call me during the slow times at work because he wanted me to go over the checklist to make sure he had done everything right... okay, annoying, but I can't really fault a guy for wanting to make sure he had done the job right (which btw, he never did). After a while though, he'd just call me from work because he was bored and wanted to chat... umm, dude, it's my day off, and as good of a friend you are, you really should be working, and I have my own stuff that needs to be done, I'll see you in class on Monday (or whatever day was next for the class).
Now is when it gets bizzare, he "broke into" the employee files (they weren't really locked, they were just kept in a drawer, so anyone could get access to it) and looked up my address and decided one day to just show up to surprise me (ostensibly he needed help with micro-economics homework... but seriously, what is wrong with a phone call if you need help, and there are tutors at school). He then proceeded to drink and entire bottle of wine and stole one of my roommate's DVDs (yeah, that's a good way to make friends).
Oh, please don't think that was the end of it... no, he reported to management that we were now roommates and changed his address on file to my address and his phone number to my phone number. He also went on to tell coworkers about all this great stuff we did together (which some of it we did, I did accept an invitation to go out to Wendover for him, but where we just went out and spent a few hours gambling, he was claiming we had spent the entire weekend there, and yes, we did go see a movie, but there wasn't dinner before, etc... but most of it was just made up bullshit). Now, keep in mind, he is making up this whole relationship in his mind, and as far as I, or anyone else knew, he was straight (okay, that's bullshit, I saw right through him and knew pretty early on, but still, he was claiming it and I was accepting it).
Fast forward through all his lies and bullshit (he was also claiming stuff like he had inherited millions of dollars and was getting all these new cars that he'd show off at work... that conveniently still had their rental tags on them, and when he'd show up with his beater car the next day claim that he didn't want to have his new car in the hotel parking lot, which is fair enough, but then would invite me over to his place and lo and behold, the new car aint there anyway, and he'd weasel his way around) and he finally gets fired because he still has no idea how to do the job (and Felafal was tired of paying me overtime to come in and fix his mistakes).
I mostly tried to ignore him after that point, but when you both have the same major and go to the same school, it is kind of hard to avoid each other. One day I'm heading up to my class on the third floor, I see him on the second floor landing in the corner crying. As much as I don't like the guy, I'm not a monster, I go over and see what's wrong and if I can help. He just comes out and says "I think I might be gay" of course in my mind I'm thinking "might be, there is no might be in this question"... but I was nice and said "okay, I know how hard this can be, is there anything I can do to help."
Now, he started this conversation innocently enough and asked what resources there were out there and if there was any groups he could join etc. I gave a legit answer "well, if you want to see how some other people have come to terms with their sexuality, I'd suggest watching movies like Latter Days and the Journey of Jared Price and Broken Hearts Club. All of those involve people coming to terms with and accepting their sexuality, they might help you. You can also look into joining the Gay Escape of Utah, they have monthly social activities where you can meet others who have gone through this and they are always willing to help those who are questioning. All else fails, if you go to the Utah Pride center, they can refer you to a professional who is willing to do pro-bono work."
He thanked me for the advice, then followed up with "you know, you could show me what it means to be gay"
Umm *slams on brakes*
Did I hear that right, yes I did. He came onto me while coming out of the closet (I know, Sheldon is going to love that line)
He knew damned well my policy about dating guys in the closet, namely that I don't. He also knew that I don't do hook-ups. And I'm sorry, but if you think I'm the kind of guy who is going to fall for the "please show me what it means to be gay line" you have another thing coming. I am more than happy to help as a friend, but the clothes are remaining on until you know who you are.
Now, after that we went our separate ways, me figuring that he had realized he had no chance and that he had pretty much ruined any chance of friendship even.
Well a few months after that happened (so, actually just after stoner Ashton stalker dude) I run into him on the bus, nearly empty bus, and he decides to set down next to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and asked me if I wanted to give it another chance... I don't think I have ever pulled the stop request cord quite that fast, nor made up an excuse as to why I was getting off the bus so well on the spot before (I said I had forgotten something and had to go back... when in reality I just walked away from the stop until the bus left, then walked back to catch the next bus 15 minutes later).

yeah, like I said, 22 was not a good year for me.