One I just might break the rules for

[shankyknitter]

So went to Pennsic. It rocked as always, didn't fight this year since doc told me I couldn't. But next year. Next year the dragons of the Mid will hang on my tent flap. Oh yes.

But moving on! My camp has a very strict rule involving Pennsic. People are not to be taken home. If you met them at War you leave them at War. That knight or gracious lady will more than likely turn into a frog in mundanialand. To help with this we have a sub rule involving sitting on people about to do something or someone stupid until the urge goes away. These are smart and wonderful rules. This also means that if you do not camp with the Ragnesfolke but got laid by one it means my camp didn't think you were a bad idea. Congratulations.

Now then to the meat of the post. Shanky met a boy. A really attractive roman boy who proceeded to follow her around like a puppy for about a week and a half (met him tuesday of first week). My camp proceeded to approve and dubbed him 'little red tunic'. There are several stories involving little red tunic, including establishing a trade route between my camp and his when I came home one morning in a tunic that wasn't mine. Or his for that matter. Long story. Apparently somewhere along the line I was paid for in salt and I was married off for war. Not sure how that happened. But anyhow!

Remember that rule I mentioned a paragraph or so ago? Go up a re-read it if you don't. I'll wait. *elevator music*

I'm debating breaking that rule. He hunted me down on facebook through a convoluted route. And we've been talking for about 2 1/2 hour sessions. He's adorable and his camp has a bet going about how long it'll take him to drive out to visit me if I give him my address. There's also a joke going about making him register a second person in their camp next year so I can spend the day and not just the night in their camp. He's also taken to referring to me as 'love', much like my camp calls him 'little red tunic'. I find this unbearably cute.

Downsides: Boy is 19. I'm 21. I don't normally go for younger men. He however has one degree, is going for another and holding down two jobs while he does it. This implies a certain level of maturity that most guys older than him lack.

He lives in the next state over from me. It's at least a 7 hour drive each way if we decide to visit each other.

He smokes. I'm allergic to tobacco. This is a problem as he has no intention of giving up his cigars and I've got no way to cease being allergic.

All in all though, this would have been a damn good year to break the 'don't take them home' rule.

[Rapscallion]

Two years may seem like a fair difference at your age, but from this perspective it's sod all.

Smoking - that's going to be awkward.

I'm neither going to say go for it or avoid - seems like 50/50 to me. Also, worth bearing in mind that people can be charming for a short while and on best behaviour, but may reveal a truer face later. He may be permenantly charming, but he may not.

Rapscallion

[Whiskey]

He smokes. I'm allergic to tobacco. This is a problem as he has no intention of giving up his cigars and I've got no way to cease being allergic.

The smoke or the literal tobacco? It seems breaking out into anaphylactic shock when you kiss him would be a dealbreaker.

[Treasure]

DO NOT Break Rules!!!!!

You have them in place for a reason... as a Rennie similar rules exist amongst regular campers - you can has a "Faire Bf or Gf" -- you see them every year at faire, you do what you do, and you leave it at faire - you communicate, you're friends on FaceSpace, BUT unless there is a largeish group gathering in your town (IE several faire friends are visiting another one in a different city) you do not see each other outside of faire.

keep talking to him, maybe even on the phone, don't put IRL dating on the shelf - is not your IRL BF - give it a year, and maybe next year at Pennsic you'll see each other again, and have fun;
THEN you may consider actually bending the rule (into a bow around his neck) but be careful/safe always!

blessed be!

[shankyknitter]

DO NOT Break Rules!!!!!

yeah that's been my take on it mostly. I know there's a reason those rules are in place, I've already broken them once and reaped the consequences of a year and a half long mistake. I'm not pushing seeing him in mundanialand, and I'm not banking on him being my IRL boyfriend. He's just doing everything right at the moment to make me go 'awwww'

[Kaylyn]

Not saying you should never break the rules, but you should definitely give it more time if you're considering it. He may make you go awww right now, but in three months he could be getting on your last nerve. I know, I've been there with a guy online, and glad I didn't break my own rules though I came thisclose to doing so.

[Magpie]

I'm thinking that Treasure's advice of waiting a year before you break the rules sounds sensible. The seven hour drive is a pain, and the tobacco is a major problem. (I'm not a lot older than you, and I'm with Raps that with only two years difference he doesn't count as a younger man). Make sure it's worth dealing with these problems before you break the rules.

[shankyknitter]

yeah I know. I've been talking to my grandmother of all people about it and she gave me the most amusing advice of all.

"Well hunny talk to him for a year and wait until next Pennsic before taking him home. Its not an impulse buy if you debate it for a year."

-Thanks grandma.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Pennsic is not the context you want to start a relationship in. It's a romantic, magical place where we let ourselves accept fairy tales as real. It's just too easy to get swept along on something that realistically won't work out.

On the other hand, no reason not to give it a shot if you really like him. Just understand that this wonderful guy has the glamour of Pennsic about him still and will likely not be who you think he is. Mundanialand has a way of making us all into someone else.

Also, the smoking thing is going to be a bigger deal than you think. Pennsic takes place outside, where smells are blown away and watered down with a melange of other scents and open air. Take him and his allergy triggers inside a closed place like, say, your car, and he and his allergy triggers will suddenly be way less charming and tolerable.

[Whiskey]

"Well hunny talk to him for a year and wait until next Pennsic before taking him home. Its not an impulse buy if you debate it for a year."

-Thanks grandma.

good god drat grandma gets down

*thumbs up*

[terakhan]

Everyone else's grandma seems so much cooler than mine...

That small an age difference isn't even worth worrying about. But he is refusing to give up a habit that could harm or kill you, just because it makes him feel good.

End advice, go with what grandma said, wait him out a year, but stay in contact and make sure he knows that its going nowhere unless the cigars go first. Your health and life are worth a hell of a lot more than him feeling better after a smoke.

[morgana]

Shanky, honey,

The others are right, the real issue here is the tobacco. If he's not willing to give up something you're deathly allergic to, he ain't a keeper, charming or not.

And two years difference in age? Pfft. My personal records are 16 years one direction and 13 the other. I haven't been dating lately, but my personal standard at the moment is "not more than 20".

[Whiskey]

9 years older is my largest difference.

[shankyknitter]

I know the biggest issue is tobacco. And not trying to make light of it or seem defensive but I am only mildly allergic and its to the smoke. I currently live with two smokers and as long as they smoke outside and not in the apartment I'm fine. This is not to say that if we actually started a relationship more than online friendship I wouldn't want him to quit. He understands that as being a major roadblock. As well as the 8 hours between the two of us. But we'll see what happens. I'm driving right past him to get to an event in November so we'll see.