And I was trying!

[Magpie]

Ok, I know that the bandana I was wearing today doesn't come under high fashion. And I don't necessarily mind, in theory, being mistaken for a guy. Especially when one case was only a few metres from me (and in semi-reasonable lighting). But it's frustrating when I'm wearing a proper sweater, not just a unisex t-shirt. (It was a thin one, you could still see figure).

I think I need to start figuring out how to do eyebrows. And perhaps shave my head. Any other suggestions? If they involve makeup, well, I'll just accept that passing isn't my thing. Wearing short hair isn't an option - it frizzes really badly, and there's no way I'd be able to keep up with straightening it, and looking like Alice from Dilbert isn't my thing. Besides, I don't like the whole "mandatory bandana" thing that happens when your hair is too short for a ponytail. (Specifically happens when you are somewhere where hair needs to be tied back).

[Whiskey]

i think I'm missing some key detail in this post ? are you transgendered ?

[Amina516]

I go to a beauty shop for my eyebrows. Its one of those little one that are just on a random street. Its $6. I love it.

The rest. Im sorry. i cant help ya...

[Whiskey]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfluyansrWc that is the best tutorial for eyebrow shaping I've ever seen.

[Magpie]

Nope, biologically and gendered female. (Sorry if I have the wording wrong, I don't mean to offend anyone). I'm not sure if it's entirely genetic, or if a large part of it is strictly that I'm not good about doing things which are considered basic female habits. (Like plucking eyebrows, or shaving body hair). It could be either, as my mom got called "sir" when she was eight months pregnant. (In his defence this was at an engineering conference, and she was several rows back in a crowded hall). I suspect that my refusal to act like a girl, or at least the areas in which my refusal to act like a girl manifests, are probably related to my Asperger's, and my mom figures she probably has it too.

I've got tutorials I'm looking at for the eyebrows, but a) I'm a wimp, I hate pain b) I have a horrible aesthetic sense and spacial sense, so they could easily look bad and I won't necessarily be able to tell c) I can't watch videos at home, the connection isn't good enough.

[Whiskey]

dude, make a trip to Berkeley some time. The women barely bathe, let alone shave or pluck. if it isn't you, it isn't you.

If you hate pain and WANT to get your eyebrows done, see if you can get some kind of dual wax. have a salon put wax and tape on both eyebrows, then rip simultaneously. That way you cant chicken out with one eyebrow waxed and by the time six weeks passes your brain will have forgotten the initial trauma. Honestly, eyebrow waxing is as painful as plucking 1 eyebrow hair and it gets all of them. I like it and its like 10$ every six weeks.

Also, dont worry about the "like a girl" thing. I look very female, but I do some of the least girly things in the world. I bench 70lbs. I squat 120lbs. I lift heavy shit all day every day. I eat steak in large quantities, bacon and eggs. I dont think I've had a salad in weeks. I smoke, I drink, I cuss. All of these things, not very "lady like" but it does not change the fact I am a woman. I just happen to be a very strong, kick ass woman.

edit: also the only reason i asked if you were trans was the "passing" comment you made.

anything you want advice on that YOU want to change (not change because you think society/someone else wants you to change) i'll be glad to throw 2 cents in if you want I research more than I practice so I know more than I act.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, listen to Whiskey. I hate other people telling me what is feminine and what isnt'. Fuck that. If it's something women do, like swear and smoke and scratch and drink, then it's something women do.

Oh, sure plenty of people like to pretend those are not things women do.

I am pretty much a girly girl. I also have hairy arms. I am the sort of ethnic chick that is hairy, I figure everyone can get over it. I don't give a damn I have hairy arms. That's just who I am.

[Magpie]

It's that this is the sort of thing that comes under "professionalism", as much as it oughtn't. If I had really good skills at presenting myself in other ways it wouldn't be a problem. But there's so many things I can't change, that I'm trying to work on looking polished everywhere I can. (Shaving legs is something different, because there's no way anyone would see that in an interview, that's by request).

It's also that, somehow, I manage to not follow social conventions in a way that sticks out. There's women who don't shave their legs but look more normal than I do. I'm sure you don't realise you do this, but there are conventions about how not to care, I can't tell what they are, so I don't follow them. (For example: you can say "I don't care because I'm more macho than you are" by what you do, or "I don't care because I'm hotter without caring" or "I object to repression".)

Oh, and "passing" was more from passing for normal, passing for NT, etc.

[LillFilly]

Ehe. I've tried everything but I get called 'sir' a lot while in uniform; doesn't even matter if I've done my hair or makeup. Either it's just a reaction to the uniform or my strong, square jaw! I do tend to get a little mustache too if I'm not careful!

And plucking's not so bad; you get used to it. Just do it enough the shape your brows, thick brows are back in style now.

[Becks]

I'd wear makeup more often, but I'm lazy and it's so hard to get the correct shade for me.

Blah.

My eyebrows are to die for. People pay money to have their eyebrows look like mine. Of course, if there wasn't a bunch of blonde in them, I'd probably have to do something about them.

[trailerparkmedic]

If you really want your eyebrows to look good and are anti-pain/cheap, wax them every few months and pluck in between. When I had a job, I'd do them every 2-ish months. Try to pluck in natural light. It's less painful if you pluck after taking a shower.

For hair, spend the money on a good salon. A good way to find one is to ask people who have good hair where they go. Tell the stylist what you're willing to do (will you spend 30 minutes each morning fixing your hair or is a quick blow dry the most you'll commit to?) and what you're looking for (fun? professional? easy to deal with?) and a good stylist will find the right style for you.

[Magpie]

For hair, spend the money on a good salon. A good way to find one is to ask people who have good hair where they go. Tell the stylist what you're willing to do (will you spend 30 minutes each morning fixing your hair or is a quick blow dry the most you'll commit to?) and what you're looking for (fun? professional? easy to deal with?) and a good stylist will find the right style for you.

Unfortunately that takes a shitload of money. I've been told that the $25 I spent when I got it all lopped off was a really good deal. The last time they did a good job, but I didn't clue into the fact that I can't wear bangs (engineering, the need to pull your hair back). I've had bad luck with getting my hair done professionally before, I'm not sure if it's my hair, my inability to communicate well (especially with stuff I'm not sure about), or just that I'm not comfortable with what suits me. I may have neglected to mention that a lot of what I need is an attitude change, and being willing to actually look feminine. Oh, and not knowing how my hair behaves doesn't help either. It might be curly by now, but I'd have to cut it to see (it doesn't curl well in the waist length), and I have decided that I want to grow my hair long at least once in my life.

And I fail miserably at waxing. Anything other than my legs results in bleeding and a lack of hair removal. Legs are just scanty hair removal. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. (And I can't see my epilator being good for my eyebrows ) Does threading count for your waxing advice? That's easy enough that I'm ok with it, and I don't even chew up my skin much . (Although either one still leaves the primary problem of I'm scared to touch them because it requires an aesthetic sense )

[Whiskey]

but I didn't clue into the fact that I can't wear bangs (engineering, the need to pull your hair back). I've had bad luck with getting my hair done professionally before, I'm not sure if it's my hair, my inability to communicate well (especially with stuff I'm not sure about), or just that I'm not comfortable with what suits me.

You could always use a bobby pin to pin back your bangs if you want them. Find a picture of a celebrity who has a similar face shape and a hair style you like and take that in. Since youre not "girly" as you describe, tell them you want something like that, but low maintenance.

and I have decided that I want to grow my hair long at least once in my life.

Oh youre going to have to get it in gear with maintenance then because long hair is a pain. If your hair is frizzy, try Aveda Straightening Serum (or something similar, im too lazy to walk in my bathroom and look at it). It does a pretty good job. You could also throw down a good amount of money (couple hundred) and get it chemically straightened. This is all assuming you want stone straight hair.

Does threading count for your waxing advice? That's easy enough that I'm ok with it, and I don't even chew up my skin much . (Although either one still leaves the primary problem of I'm scared to touch them because it requires an aesthetic sense )

I never do my own waxing. If threading works for you, do that, but I hear its just as painful as plucking. Even at my salon, waxing is only 10-15$ Also, miss engineering, watch that youtube video it gives you exact, specific instructions with measurements and stuff on how to properly do your eyebrows to fit your face.

[Magpie]

Find a picture of a celebrity who has a similar face shape and a hair style you like and take that in.

But I don't like their hair styles. It's more to do with the fact that they're always pictured with their hair down, which I cannot wear - I get hot far too easily to wear it loose. And it drives me crazy as well as being a safety risk.

Oh youre going to have to get it in gear with maintenance then because long hair is a pain.

If even a french braid starts to hurt then I'll shorten it again. I've found it's quite pain-free, and I've already reached a length where I'm fairly sure that the length isn't an issue - I'm not using the ends at any point, it's all done moving the whole thing. I'd stop at knee-length anyhow, if I could even grow it that long. (I've tried serums, and haven't noticed a material difference.

Also, miss engineering, watch that youtube video it gives you exact, specific instructions with measurements and stuff on how to properly do your eyebrows to fit your face.

That's Mrs engineering to you, thank you very much. And I haven't been to work since you posted that link. It's not that the videos are slow. It's that they just won't load. Dunno why. They finally put new cable in, so we're going to switch to red phone and internet, but I can't do it, and it's (rightfully) not Jackdaw's top priority. The new account will have my name on it. (We didn't want to have to deal with a name that wasn't technically mine, or changing my name when we got it). All I know right now is the start and end points and where the arch goes. None of the text-only ones give more detail than that. They also give lovely stuff like "don't over pluck". Well I figured that one out... Stupid internets.

[Whiskey]

That's Mrs engineering to you, thank you very much. And I haven't been to work since you posted that link. It's not that the videos are slow. It's that they just won't load. Dunno why. They finally put new cable in, so we're going to switch to red phone and internet, but I can't do it, and it's (rightfully) not Jackdaw's top priority. The new account will have my name on it. (We didn't want to have to deal with a name that wasn't technically mine, or changing my name when we got it). All I know right now is the start and end points and where the arch goes. None of the text-only ones give more detail than that. They also give lovely stuff like "don't over pluck". Well I figured that one out... Stupid internets.

I meant pain as in "pain in the ass" not "painful. Your eyebrows should already have a shape to them, once you start pulling the misc hairs out, the shape should start to show itself. What are you wondering about besides the arch and start/end points? Thats basically all there is to it from what I know.

MRS engineering :P