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"It's a lot harder to fit in my mouth than I was led to believe..."
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester
I dreamed I was at a zoo or sanctuary or some place and they had this massive two-story cage full of different kinds of animals. They needed to clean the cage so sprayed the animals with sleeping gas and asked if I would like to help take them out while they slept. I picked up a black howler monkey, which promptly woke up. After that things went just about as you would expect.
"If I nibble a bit off the edges, it'll work." - What she really said.
I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
I was walking into a Freddy's superstore today and two college age looking guys were walking in at the same time. One said to the other "is this a grocery store? It's huge!" The other guy said, "yeah, they have everything."
I was smiling for like 10 minutes. Had he never seen a superstore before, lol? The giant, full, horrible, parking lot didn't tip him off that the store might be big? I don't know, it just struck me as really funny.
Replace anger management with stupidity management.
Why oh why oh why is it that on the days when I need to BE QUIET AND ALONE AND BY MYSELF AND NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE'S VOICE UNLESS THEY'RE ON MY EARBUDS, somebody wants to talk and talk and talk and talk at me??????
Homonyms that are synonyms for different things:
Breaks vs. brakes
One is to brings work to a halt, the other vehicles.
I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
And now Husband is at work and I'm scrambling to find a way to explain dark matter to a seven-year-old. Where he heck did he even hear about dark matter?
And now Husband is at work and I'm scrambling to find a way to explain dark matter to a seven-year-old. Where he heck did he even hear about dark matter?
Dark matter? What's that?
"I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."
I don't really understand it. At least no one else does either.
In the past week I have attempted to answer questions about the possible existence of wormholes, what teleportation would actually involve, if humans will ever time travel and the potential uses of an invisibility shield (I could think of some uses, none of them good).
Explaining radiation last year was a fun time too.
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