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  • Quoth Kanalah View Post
    He says this is my "last chance" to lose weight and keep the house and kids how he wants them or he will kick me out.

    And I know my fam will not take me in.
    kick him out, you have as much right to be there as he does.

    P.S: I'd love for him to look after the kids, keep a clean house and find time to exercise /go to the gym.

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    • Quoth AriGriffin View Post
      I am done with trying to help out at work.

      This year's summer reading program is Dig into Reading... I was looking through the work website to see what they were doing for programs and nothing showed up. Considering the program starts on Saturday, SOMETHING should have been posted. So, I sent the director an e-mail asking if they were going to post info on the library website since patrons have been asking me about programs.

      *snip*
      AriGriffin, I am so sorry for the complete lack of support you are getting there. Your ideas sound great and I'll bet the kids would love them. Are there any groups or organizations in the area that you could do this on a volunteer basis for? There's no point in your wasting your time and energy on an employer that just keeps saying "No" to everything you suggest.

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      • Quoth Kanalah View Post
        He says this is my "last chance" to lose weight and keep the house and kids how he wants them or he will kick me out.

        And I know my fam will not take me in.
        Pardon my language, but fucking WHAT?!? YOU must keep the kids and house the way HE wants?? Who died and made him God?? And what is HE doing in terms of his share of child-raising and house-managing?? Bugger-all from the sounds of it!

        And if he thinks he's such an Adonis, tell him to call one of the Kardashians and see if they'll give him the time of day ...

        Definitely, get thee hence to a lawyer, immediately, to find out what your rights are, and what options you will have for help, if you feel your family won't help you. Do NOT leave the house. If he doesn't want to be a father and husband anymore, let HIM get out. He just blew his last chance to be a decent guy.

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        • Have had a good news/bad news type of thing. The good news is, have a few forums approaching me about doing a feature article. Bad news is I may be going back into the hospital. Getting to where I can not keep anything down, and the pain in my legs have returned with a vengeance. Feels like my somebody is trying to remove my stomach with a dull grapefruit spoon.
          Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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          • I have an ear infection for the first time in 35 years. Put the drops in and my right ear is all clogged up. Doctor said not to worry about it, but how am I going to work all weekend if I can't hear out of one ear?? I can't call in; I just can't.
            "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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            • I feel like giving up, just giving in. No strength right now left to fight the good fight. My world is collapsing, have no place to turn. My dove is my only source of strength right now. I'm useless and can't seem to do anything right. Everything I touch turns from gold to garbage. I just hope the poison that is running through my life leaves one of the few good things in my life alone (Marmalady). I have nothing else for the world to take.
              Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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              • Hon, I'm so sorry you're sad, but you are NOT worthless. I'd be devastated if I lost you.
                "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                • Oh so much fun.

                  MIL is not doing well healthwise. She's been telling hubs that she's all alone and no one calls or visits her and she can't leave her house or cook and she's lost 50 lbs. And she's really mad at BILs and SIL for not helping her in her time of need. And hubs was respecting her wishes by not telling his siblings how hurt mom is by their actions.

                  Then we got a late night drunken phone call from SIL. We were treated to a 4 hour dramatic retelling of her entire life. Hubs told her that mom was upset because everyone was ignoring her and all the rest of her family lives within 10 miles of her. Then SIL dropped a bomb on us.

                  All the other kids have been taking turns spending the day at mom's house. Taking her to the store, helping her cook and clean and keeping her company. And that mom was convinced that she could "force" hubs and the kids to move back in with her. I know SIL and she wouldn't lie about stuff like this. Hubs is actually angry at mom because he's told her repeatedly that he will NOT move back out there. Plus she's lying to him and making him worried/turning him against his brothers and sister.

                  But the fact is that she is in poor health, and likely doesn't have much time. She does want to see Hubs and daughter. But I feel very uncomfortable having just the two of them travel alone. (Daughter has autism and has been throwing epic meltdowns lately, plus when she's overwhelmed she tries to run away.) So now all four of us have to fly out there and spend a week visiting her.

                  I have panic attacks on planes and my daughter has epic meltdowns. Plus MIL feels that I should devote my entire life to waiting hand and foot at Hubs and kid's side. (Like seriously - they should have zero responsibility at home and I should graciously handle everything with a smile. Sorry but in my house if you make a mess - you clean it up.)

                  I am really not looking forward to this. We haven't been able to take a real vacation in 11 years (since our honeymoon) because we have to drive or fly up to MIL's house and be prisoners in her house the entire time and put up with her ripping me a new one constantly.
                  https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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                  • My life is going good at the moment....I'm just here to give hugs, cookies, food and drink to any who need it.
                    Frying pans! Who knew, right?

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                    • I need more antibiotics. My right ear is getting better while the left is now getting worse. It's full of medicine, which is causing pressure, and is itchy as all-get-out.
                      "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                      • Quoth Kanalah View Post
                        Oh so much fun.

                        *snip*

                        But the fact is that she is in poor health, and likely doesn't have much time. She does want to see Hubs and daughter. But I feel very uncomfortable having just the two of them travel alone. (Daughter has autism and has been throwing epic meltdowns lately, plus when she's overwhelmed she tries to run away.) So now all four of us have to fly out there and spend a week visiting her.

                        I have panic attacks on planes and my daughter has epic meltdowns. Plus MIL feels that I should devote my entire life to waiting hand and foot at Hubs and kid's side. (Like seriously - they should have zero responsibility at home and I should graciously handle everything with a smile. Sorry but in my house if you make a mess - you clean it up.)

                        I am really not looking forward to this. We haven't been able to take a real vacation in 11 years (since our honeymoon) because we have to drive or fly up to MIL's house and be prisoners in her house the entire time and put up with her ripping me a new one constantly.
                        I don't mean to be cruel but I have to ask: when you say your MIL "doesn't have much time" do you know this for a fact, due to her health, or are you just extrapolating, maybe because of her age? I'm asking because I used to say oh, I have to visit Elderly Relative -- who was a gem, by the way, nothing like your MIL! -- because he's 80 and doesn't have much time left! He died at 98.

                        If her health is such that she really does have very little time left, then all I can suggest is IF your hubby really wants to go, try to grit your teeth and hang in there (although I'm sorry that you've been putting up with this for ELEVEN YEARS ... ) You will know at the end that you did all you could and then you can close that book and shelve it.

                        However, I'm also wondering if your hubby would be willing to tell his mother that (a) he's on to her tall tales, so knock it off, and (b) he's still willing to come out and visit but she needs to STFU about you or you guys will spend all your "visit" anywhere other than her house?

                        and chocolate chip cookies

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                        • She's 88 and this is the 4th time her cancer has come back since she was diagnosed 5 years ago. She's had surgeries to remove it, radiation and chemo. She told hubs that she's "tired and doesn't want to fight anymore." Dad-in-law died 23 years ago from cancer. She's quit her part time job that she's had forever and doesn't do anything but sit in her house and watch the religion channel.

                          She has no hobbies except cleaning. I'm not kidding, she cleans her entire house daily - even though she doesn't even use half the rooms. We wash the dishes by hand, dry them and then wash them in the dishwasher with more soap. Between every load of laundry she runs her washer empty with soap and bleach in it. She even bleaches her carpets.

                          From what I have heard recently - she's in a rehab facility and looking into moving into assisted living. All the siblings-in-law seem to think that she's heading downhill fast.

                          As for hubs - when she starts in on me he just sits there and agrees with her, which pisses me off the most. He used to defend me, and now he agrees with her. She says I'm fat (My BMI says I am actually on the thin side) I'm lazy (Chasing around after the kids trying to keep her stuff from being broken) and that I'm such a bad mom that I 'caused' her namesake to get autism!

                          We don't have a lot of money - we barely managed to scrape together enough for the plane tickets, so when we do visit we stay in her house. We were actually planning to take a quick weekend vacation in the town north of us, but we had to cancel.

                          When we are at her house and I mention that since we're in the DC area we'd like to take the kids around to some of the museums and things, MIL flips her shit. She yells that "you came up here to visit me, not that other crap!" And that if we want to go anywhere we have to rent a car or pay for a taxi - which she knows we can't afford. We also can't afford a hotel either and none of the other siblings will take us in. So we're stuck in her house with literally nothing to do. The kids either watch the religion channel with her or play with the few toys we pack. Hubs disappears all day to watch netflix on the ipad. And I'm stuck either cleaning or keeping an eye on the kids. If I even get on the computer to check me email I get yelled at.

                          I guess I should be grateful that it's only a week instead of 3 weeks like last time
                          https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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                          • Quoth Mytical View Post
                            I just hope the poison that is running through my life leaves one of the few good things in my life alone (Marmalady).
                            *comes in, sits quietly down next to Mytical and hugs him protectively*
                            Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

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                            • Hugs Mytical and Kanalah. Mytical, sending you my nice dragon to look after you for a while.
                              I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - Joi

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                              • ok we all need a group hug!!!
                                Coffee should be strong, black and chewy! It should strip paint and frighten small children.

                                My blog Darkwynd's Musings

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