I Have Seen It All

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Me and this young guy (he was on the scene, I was on the scene. No idea who he was) rescued a brown pelican in a mangrove swamp down in Florida once. Tangled up in monofilament. That pelican was beating the shit out of the young man. I had to hold the bird down while the dude cut the line off with my pocketknife.

It wasn't easy holding him still. We both had bruises.

[Tanasi]

A few months ago I was dog sitting my youngest daughters Min-pin Cupid. I don't like the dog as it's too hyper but it is what it is. Anyways I stopped at a business near a popular duck pond, unknown to me the dog had stowedaway in my car.

I open the door and the dog jumps out runs across 6 lanes of traffic and starts barking at some ducks. A big goose takes offense and starts after him and him being dumb doesn't run but engages. The goose is biting him, flogging him and knocked him in the water. I finally get across traffic and this dog is trying to fight the goose in the water. He's outclassed by a larger critter on land, and evenmoreso outclassed in the water, he's about to drown. Not knowing how deep the water is I reach out to grab him and at that time he latches onto the goose's neck. Those sharp little teeth sink in and a few shakes of him whole body this goose is dead. It's big time against the law to harass the ducks and geese,

I grab up the dog and the goose, throw the goose in the trunk and the dog in the back seat. He's bloody and I don't know if it's his blood or the goose so I get him home and find chucks of hair missing, a chuck of ear gone and he's limping. I wrap him up in a towel and take him to the vet. A few days later he's home and my daughter is mad at me because her dog got hurt. I gave her the vet bill. I think I'll not be asked to dog-sit again. Fed the goose to the hogs. Hogs will eat anything bones and all. I don't like little dogs especially this one as he won't obey. Our big dogs (Mastifs) do obey and I doubt the goose would have engage with Zeus (200+#s). Zeus craps bigger than Cupid, stupid little dog.

[zombiequeen]

My cat used to herd the wild turkeys when they would come down the driveway. The tom once tried to charge him, and the cat just puffed, hissed, and smacked his head. I wish I had video of it, it was super funny.

On Thanksgiving one year, my cousins and I walked my grandpa's and aunt's dogs down to the pier. A huge group of swans swims up expecting treats, and Chloe, my aunt's cocker spaniel, starts barking at them. Swans jumped up on the pier, we scooped up the dogs and ran back to my aunt's house, maybe a mile away. Got in the door and saw the swans land in the front yard. Totally freaked out...My older cousin went and pulled the blinds closed on the windows because we thought if they saw Chloe again, they would break in the big windows in the living room.

[blas]

You aren't kidding.

My parents are very careful at the park when they take Bear the dog there, because one time she accidentally pissed off a swan. Now all the water fowl at the park hate her. She's just a curious big old baby who wants to sniff, but of course she doesn't realize how territorial and tempermental birds are.

I avoid that park at most costs, because the male peacock once gave chase to me. I still go there to see the bears and to make fun of the buffallo and their snorting noises, but I stay away from the birds.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Large birds like that can mess you up. They don't play around. Do not underestimate the damage a pissed off goose-sized bird can do.

Swans are nasty too. Pretty to watch, dangerous to fuck with (a swan can beat a full-grown man to death with its wings!). Avoid interacting with at all costs (particularly around breeding season!)

[blas]

A toilet plunger on a dent is my dad's favorite Old School Redneck Man's Way Of Life trick.

[KiaKat]

Not always so...my friends have seen moose and beer well away from any roads.....usually chillin in the streams/rivers...it amazing how used to it they are....last time we were up, my friend just casually mentioned he saw a beer, as it if was a squirrel! HA

Huh. Interesting. I've seen bears throughout the WMNP, but never moose. Usually I only saw those in my backyard.

No, wait...that's not entirely true. I did see a moose when I was skiing Cannon one year. But it was 8am, and I was almost the only one on the mountain. He was BIG, too.

[telecom_goddess]

Anyone here want to place some bets on the outcome of that?



I think they already know who's boss.

Hmmm well if I knew and expected turkeys around I'd hope I'd be a little more prepared lol. I still think they deserve to be dinner

And a toilet plunger on a dent? That's the first I've heard of that practice.....but I guess it works eh?

[dalesys]

Not always so...my friends have seen moose and beer well away from any roads.....usually chillin in the streams/rivers...

Naturally. Warm beer is

[Cat]

No, Cat, you don't.

Because generally if you see one, it means you're about to hit one.

The White Mountains are too forested to really see any wildlife, and there aren't many hiking trails that are unpopulated enough and open enough for a moose to just hang out.

If you live in NH, then you'll see one in your yard every so often. We did when I was a kid.

But if you're just visiting, and you see a moose, it's because it's on the highway.

.

Not always so...my friends have seen moose and beer well away from any roads.....usually chillin in the streams/rivers...it amazing how used to it they are....last time we were up, my friend just casually mentioned he saw a beer, as it if was a squirrel! HA

[Tanasi]

I thought I saw it all when it became a morning occurance to have to dodge them as soon as I got onto my street, because they are always in the middle of the road strutting their stuff.

It was a sight to see, that's all I can say. I am so glad no one was nearby, because a lot of people walk/jog and take their kids for walks around here, because there is a park nearby.

I pissed off a turkey to the point of him puffing up and spreading his wings at me, and that was because I wouldn't give him any of my candy bar. I'd hate to be the mailman if that truck had stalled out!

That tom wasn't mad at you, he was, hmmm how to say this delicately.....He was going to see if you could give birth to some polts... When he's all puffed up like that he's strutting and trying to impress you. His head turns from gray/blue to red if you can't run away or fight him off I suggest you brace yourself.

At a gun range I'm a member of there is a flock of 65+ birds. After they pass by the ground looks like it's been plowed. Same place a friend got treed in the club house by a horny tom. Same tom flogged the heck out of the coke machine when he saw his reflection in the machine front. Same place about 10 years ago there was some hybrid turkeys (tame mixed with wild) running around. According to Ranger Smith hybrids are open season year round. I was sighting in a .22 rifle and the flock came by and two hybrids came within 5 to 6 feet of me. Two shots later we had turkey that evening. Thing was after the first shot they didn't even move they just stood there.

[KiaKat]

No, Cat, you don't.

Because generally if you see one, it means you're about to hit one.

The White Mountains are too forested to really see any wildlife, and there aren't many hiking trails that are unpopulated enough and open enough for a moose to just hang out.

If you live in NH, then you'll see one in your yard every so often. We did when I was a kid.

But if you're just visiting, and you see a moose, it's because it's on the highway.

***

We used to have to shoo turkeys off the road when driving to school in the autumn. Frost on the leaf-covered ground, all of us bleary-eyed and freezing, and having to stop the car to chase damned turkeys off the road because they were too stupid to move when the car was bearing down on them.

Urg. I hated that.

[Cat]

I see deer every now and then driving...when I see one, I know there are probably more near by....they do make me nervous when I'm driving. I'd rather see 'em in the woods.
Still haven't seen a moose....every time I head to NH I hope to see one....soon...

[Becks]

I've hated deer ever since I was able to drive.

I've hated deer ever since I was old enough to have to keep an eye out for them while Mommy was driving.

[blas]

What if the mail carrier slammed on the brakes?

Years ago, when I was dating a guy who lived out in the sticks, I once interrupted two bucks in the middle of their rut fighting, horns locked and all by driving down the road they were in the middle of fighting on. They dispersed, and I proceeded with much caution, at the rate of a constipated snail.

Then out of nowhere, moments later, one of the bucks returned and showed his anger at my interference by ramming the driver's side entire front panel. He had to have woken up with quite a headache the next morning. And I needed a new headlight and casing and my dad had to really go at it with the toilet plunger to get that dent out.

I've hated deer ever since I was able to drive.