Dear Fellow Gym Goers

[iradney]

Oh pretty please, please please please....

1) Applying cologne or perfume is NOT a water sport. I don't need to taste the cloud you leave behind

2) Gentlemen - if you're gonna wear spandex, please wear shorts over it - I do not need to see the Twins and Mr Happy, mk?

3) Ladies - please wear a sports bra - a normal bra will not give the same amount of support to your lovely girls when running, and seeing them bouncing violently gives me sympathy pains.

4) The equipment is there to use, not to sit on and have a fat gossip with your buddies. If it's quiet, eh, why not; but always during peak times???

5) Sweat Towels Are Your Friend! And please wipe off the equipment once you're done - ew ew ew

6) Ladies - I'm super glad that you're so confident in your body, but is it really necessary to do nude stretches in the locker room?

7) I'm here to work out, get sweaty, with my hair sticking up in funny places and get red in the face. This is not a good time to try and pick me up, thanks.

Add em as you think of em!

[blas]

I cannot agree with you more on the no bra thing or the lack of sports bras. I cannot believe the amount of women who don't even wear a bra while working out, or think those built in bras are good enough for DDs.

And the perfume/cologne thing. Ick.

And girls who wear makeup to the gym.

Gym equipment is not tables and chairs at Starbucks. Work it or get off and go away. Not everyone has all day to work out. Thank you.

The movie theater is supposed to be dark. Do not curiously walk in and turn the lights on, then proceed to work out and force everyone to try to watch the movie with the lights on.

If you can't see in the dark, don't go in the movie theater.

DO NOT watch me do chest presses and other various chest workouts.

DO NOT come up smiling at me while I am on the stretch deck laying on my back doing my ab exercises with my legs in the air with the exercise ball. It's not suggestive or sexy. It's a work out. Pervert.

[Cat]

Ugh, I hate when people just sit on equipment....ok if you are resting for a bit.....but not 5-15 minutes....people can get through a rep in that amount of time!

Grunters.....no need to drop our weights, and grunt and pace and stand in the middle of the walk way.


Don't talk to me if I've the headphones on....there are on so I can ignore you.

[AdminAssistant]

Guys - unless you're playing a game skins vs. shirts basketball, leave your damn shirt on. I've covered up my belly, so I'll ask you to do the same with your moobs. Especially when you're leaving the gym.

Also, don't mind me when I'm laughing at the daytime courtroom shows on the TV. That shit is hilarious.

[hinakiba777]

-Please don't yell fat jokes at people working out. People go to the gym to get in shape, so they aren't going to be perfect when they arrive

-Watch the clock. If you want to be on a machine that needs to be timed out, get there on time. Do not show up 2 minutes before the next persons turn and expect to use it for the full 30 minutes. I will kick you, literally, off the rower if you cut into my time.

-Do not clang the weights on the weight machines. If you aren't strong enough to lower the weight slowly, Use Less Weight!

-Don't jump on a machine while I'm cleaning it and complain it's sweaty. There is a reason I have a sweat towel and a bottle of cleanser in my hands.

-If there is a warm up/cool down space in the gym, USE IT. Do not stand in the middle of the floor stretching while people are trying to use the equipment.

Oh and one more thing,

-Chubby Gym Goer does not equal out of shape weakling. I do leg reps at 100lb and can bench 175lb, So there

[firecat88]

~Stop using your cellphone while you're 'running' on the track. It makes you slow the hell down and, when I'm trying to get in my 2 miles and there's a dozen people doing a fitness walking class at the same time, makes you add to the overall congestion on the track.

~The name of the class is 'fitness walking', people. Not 'gossip-about-who-did-what-on-such-and-such-tv-show walking'. I know you wanna talk with your girlfriends, but at least try to walk faster while you're doing it.

~For crap's sake, there are at least 3 signs on the track indicating which way you're supposed to be walking. On even-numbered days, go counterclockwise. On odd-numbered days, go clockwise.

~If you're part of a tour group coming through the rec center, keep to one side of the track so everyone who's using the track can get by. Do not stop in the dead center of the track, Mr. Gray Sweater, because no one can get around you when you do that. Also, the previous statement about the sign goes for you tour groups as well.

~The offer is appreciated but, no, I do not need help going up the incline portion of the track. I go up and down it 3 days a week, 12 times a day at least. It's part of my workout.

[Igorina]

Not quite the same, but some tips from the dojang:

*Don't yank on my ponytail. It is not cute, and I will show you the errors of your ways.

*Sometimes you will win the sparring match, sometimes you will lose. Sometimes you will lose to me. There are worse things than losing to a woman.

*No bleeding on the mats.

*No pooping on the mats.

*If your partner asks you to be gentle with certain limbs due to weakness or injury, listen. I prefer my elbows un-hyper-extended.

*No shoes on the mats.

*No puking on the mats.

[raw456]

* If there are only 3 working treadmills, please dont tie up 2 of them for and hour while you "walk" with your friend. There is a 30min limit, please consider others

*Cell phones are not a required component of any fitness regime I know of, leave them in your locker or at home.

* please dont leave the treadmill running at full speed on max incline cause you decided to "jump off" and go stretch for 5 mins

*sitting on the weight bench texting for 10 mins does not constitute a workout session.

*Please try to withold your nasty comments about my size when I run on the treadmill. Yes, I have flabby bits and they jiggle alot when I run. 2 months ago I couldn't run, so leave me the hell alone.

[Seshat]

* The person using the equipment just might be disabled. Respect their decision to do a 'pansy' workout: it may well be prescribed by their physiotherapist.

* The person doing the workout just might be disabled. If so, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THEIR WALKING STICK!

* If a person specifically asks for a mid-height locker, don't say something rude about them learning to squat or stretch. They just might be disabled. (Yes, it's a theme!)

* Don't hog the water fountain.

[iradney]

When doing a big "manly" workout, please do not CLANG your weights together - it just shows you're using bad form, and the people around you dont need the sonic boom.

If I'm in the stretching area, you know, STRETCHING, please don't stand rightontopofmelikethis - that's just gross.

[blas]

Guys....it is NOT sexy to grunt or moan and groan like you are suffering the ultimate constipation or in childbirth. Not one bit.

Whether you are doing it because you're lifting too much, or because you think it's impressive....it's not. People are staring at you because you sound stupid. And I'm laughing at you and making comments about steroids on purpose just to make you feel stupid.

Get it? Stop it.

[Cazzi]

2) Gentlemen - if you're gonna wear spandex, please wear shorts over it - I do not need to see the Twins and Mr Happy, mk?

That brought back flashbacks of what got caught in my direct line of sight while working out on the triceps machine the other week!

3) Ladies - please wear a sports bra -

I'm sorry, I'm still 2 inches short in the back for shock absorbers I've tried other brands but to be honest, they had less support than my normal bras. Still, I'm banned from running and try not to do any arm waving or stuff that'll set the girls bouncing about and I will lose that 2 inches soon ( I hope!)

5) Sweat Towels Are Your Friend! And please wipe off the equipment once you're done - ew ew ew

I know where my towel is!

And girls who wear makeup to the gym.

Is that the same girls who come in looking freshly washed and then put on the makeup before they go out of the floor?
And really girls, if you don't want to smudge the makeup, why give the pretence you're working out.... you ain't going to tone up without breaking a sweat!

-Please don't yell fat jokes at people working out. People go to the gym to get in shape, so they aren't going to be perfect when they arrive

I've never heard those where I go, it may never happen or it may be because when I get in there, out comes the hearing aid & in goes the ear buds I have had "THE LOOK" a few times though, especially in the changing room.
Yes, I know I'm more round than skinny, but at least I break a sweat.
Normally I stay in the communal area to change into workout stuff if I'm not getting out of my undies, I get the look enough then.. if I'm getting into my swimsuit, I hide in one of the few cubicles! thanks to my stupid hands I struggle at times getting into the cozzie.. I don't want giggles as well as "THE LOOK" thank you very much!

And to the girl in the spaghetti strap top & push up bra.. yes, you have a fantastic body & must have worked out hard to get it... but carry on like that & those boobs will go south very quickly! And, I'm sure the guys have noticed the boobs, so please stop sitting with you hands behind your head pushing out your chest while working on your leg reps.

Also:
Signs posted in the gym that make you think "Why do they really have to point that out?"

At my gym:
"please do not use razors or any other shaving implements in the pool and sauna area"
I really don't want to know why that one was put up

"Please make sure locker doors are closed after use"
I guess there are a lot of girls who are constantly banging their heads on their kitchen cupboard doors at home with the amount of times that sign gets ignored!

There are stickers on all the treadmills and a huge red sign posted in front of them asking people to make sure the treadmills are stopped before they walk away from them.
Can you guess what happens on a daily basis?

My favourite ones are the ones that ask people to make sure they have towel dried before they leave the pool & shower area.... Yes, a number of people manage to walk past those too & drip everywhere. Bonus if its a large lady in a swim dress leaving a lake behind them!
(As I said up there, I'm not small but I can read!)

I'm fed up of putting my socked feet in a puddle

I do have a cute story though
The little old lady who was shyly changing into her swimming costume under her clothes & towel in the communal changing room, who then picked up a set of eye protection & went off to use a tanning machine.. which is in its own lockable cubical and is a completely enclosed unit! Bless her

[zibmai]

*Person on the treadmill next to me: Quit trying to race! It's obnoxious and very distracting.

*Person on the other treadmill: You typically shouldn't try to read the paper while you run. You've lost half your paper already...just sayin'.

*Pervy guys who situate themselves on bikes behind the treadmills: There's a mirror in front of me. I can see what you're looking at. Grinning like an idiot when you're caught makes you look even more stupid.

*Women in the locker room: There are changing stalls....please PLEEEEASE I'm begging you, don't sidle up to my bench, rip off all your clothes and stand there in front of me for what seems like eons with everything hanging out. I...I don't know where to look when you do that...

[blas]

I hate women who do that, too. Yes, it's a locker room and we are all women and shouldn't be embarrassed of our bodies, but it's one thing to quickly change and another to stand there in all your 60 years of glory, hands on your hips, tits down to your belly button, butt down to the back of your knees, talking about the weather. Put your freaking clothes on already.

Actually, age isn't even a factor. I don't want to see any one standing there parading around naked. A locker room is for changing. I may be a little more conservative and prudish, I usually wear my gym clothes TO the gym and shower/change at home and arrange errands to accomodate that, but if I ever use the pool or hot tub and have to change, I use a bathroom stall.

Too many women are far too comfortable with their bodies. It's gross. It's not because they are't perfect, God knows I'm a walking ad for needing a breast lift at 23 and the next miracle anti-cellulite and butt dimple cream, but there's no reason to waltz around naked talking to your pals in a locker room with several people you don't even know around you.

[BookstoreEscapee]

*Person on the other treadmill: You typically shouldn't try to read the paper while you run. You've lost half your paper already...just sayin'.

How do you read and run at the same time? (Especially something like a newspaper that comes apart so easily...) How do you focus on the words when you're bouncing up and down? I'll read magazines while I walk on the treadmill, but trying to run and read is not even possible for me. (Though I don't run on the treadmill because it makes my shins hurt like hell...doesn't happen when I run outside.)

I use the gym at work, and it's usually pretty quiet after work. Last time I was there I was alone until I was at least halfway done. Usually there's not more than 2 others, the most I've seen at that time is 4 or 5.