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  • Grrrr At My Mom

    One of my cousins died yesterday, and her funeral is in New York this weekend. I live in Texas (the rest of my family is on the east coast). My mom actually told me "You can't come. You live too far away and you're in school." She also told me I would be a burden on the family since I wouldn't have a car or any way to get around.

    I think my mom forgot I'm nearly 27, and not 14 anymore.

    I am going, BTW. My Friday professor is awesome and feels bad for me and will work with me to make up the hours I'm missing. I found a price on tickets that doesn't kill me, a friend in the city will let me stay with her, and my aunt is paying for a hotel room for me and a cousin. Plus, I don't need a car when I'm in New York City.

    My mom was a bit speechless when I told her that I had everything figured out already. I think she wanted to tell me not to come, but I'd already booked the nonrefundable plane tickets.

  • #2
    Well gee, that was nice of her!

    I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you get to go to the funeral. Also, sounds like you have an awesome professor!

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    • #3
      TPM, I'm sorry, both for your loss and the way your mom is acting.

      Have a safe trip!

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      • #4
        I'm sorry for your loss. I hope things go as smoothly as they can in this sort of situation

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        • #5
          A car? In New York? Why, I've never heard of such a thing!

          Don't blame you for "grr"-ing your mother. It could be written off as rudeness-by-grief, but I've certainly never heard anyone ban another from a funeral.

          And a burden? What a crock! Don't blame you for living in Texas while she's on the East Coast, either.

          Also, please accept my condolences for the loss of you cousin. If possible, please extend them to her parents as well.
          "For the love of all that is holy and 4 things that aren’t but feel pretty good anyway" ~ Gravekeeper

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          • #6
            OH, TPM - that sucks, a lot.
            The loss of your cousin,
            the "you can't come" from your moo
            have a safe trip, and lots of hugs for all.
            I am well versed in the "gentle" art of verbal self-defense

            Once is an accident; Twice is coincidence; Thrice is a pattern.

            http://www.gofundme.com/treasurenathanwedding

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            • #7
              My condolences also, hon. I suspect your mom may always think of you as 14 somewhat, as parents are often wont to do. I'm 37, my dad's 70, and we still have similar conversations. Only now I smile because I realize it means he loves me, and is better than all the times in my life he ignored me. I'd rather have his overprotectiveness. (Is that a word?)
              "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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              • #8
                So sorry about your cousin. Maybe your mom is acting out grief and sadness? People do get irrational during bereavement; I deal with it all the time on the phone and I know it from personal experience (I still have no idea what I said to some of the people I had to call when my brother passed away). Or maybe she was just trying to keep you from missing school?
                When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                • #9
                  My deepest sympathies for both the loss of your cousin, and the insensitivity of your mom.

                  I'm happy you found arrangements that work for you to get to the funeral. It's hard losing a loved one, but harder when you have to travel. Grief + Planning= Difficult

                  Please know you'll be in my prayers.
                  Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                  Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                  Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

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                  • #10
                    Thanks for the support.

                    I'm not so much mad at my mom as I am annoyed. If there is a stressful situation and she can plan things, she is ok, but if she can't plan things, she freaks out and acts like this. It makes me want to roll my eyes and ask her to call me back when she's calmed down.

                    I'm off to New York tomorrow--wish me luck! I was kind of looking forward to the adventure of getting from the airport to Long Island on public transit, but everyone is insisting I take a cab instead.

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                    • #11
                      I see you posted this yesterday but good luck anyways!

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