WTFness is WTF.

[Amethyst Hunter]

There must be something about my age bracket (30-something) that is bringing out the oddballs lately. In no less than a month I've had at least FOUR different inquiries/remarks connecting my age and marital status...or rather, lack thereof. (The commenter is always the first person who instigates the conversations.) Everybody always acts startled when they find out I'm not, because, me being the forthright type (read: not able to think fast on my feet when broadsided) I answer honestly. (Whether THEY have a SO or not, I don't know, though going by appearances it's probably safe to say that most of them do)

Thus far nobody's been outright rude or mean about it. But it's weirding me out that so many people are suddenly seemingly interested in my personal life. Really, it's OKAY for us aloners to be alone. It's OKAY for aloners to be happy that way. (The toilet seat stays DOWN, bitch! ) And even if you're one of them that would rather be coupled, it's OKAY that you're still single. There is nothing wrong with single people. The culture just has its head up its own ass so it's convinced that two-by-two is the only existing life script available. (And don't even get me started on the ones who want to know why you haven't/don't want to (over)fill the gene pool with your DNA.** I've got a while yet before I start hearing that nonsense. )

(** = I'm fine with answering if people ask in a nicely-asking-just-curious kind of way; I'm referring to the types who get all up in your face about it and act like you've just pissed on their Persian rug wrapped up their Ming vase in it and set both on fire.)

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Might be the holidays, wanting to know about plans and such... or people just in that mode, along with getting weepy over Norman Rockwell pictures and the idea of family, even though they prolly haven't seen theirs since this time last year...

[protege]

Oh, when people find out that I'm over 30...the first question I get is "why aren't you with anyone." I don't know if it's because the holidays are coming up, but I've been hearing that quite a bit lately. I already know what I'm doing for New Year's. I'm doing the same thing that I've been doing since my last relationship (of any sort) imploded 10 years ago. I'm going to stay home, drink wine, build models, and watch Steve McQueen flicks.

[shadowpanda]

A friend of mine, is 23 and is fairly certain that she does not want children or to get married. Other people our age are horrified that she feels like this and really giver her grief over it. It's her life, she isn't hurting anyone, she can live it how she desires (is my opinion)

[morgana]

A friend of mine, is 23 and is fairly certain that she does not want children or to get married. Other people our age are horrified that she feels like this and really give her grief over it. It's her life, she isn't hurting anyone, she can live it how she desires (is my opinion)

I made the child-free decision at 19. I have never regretted it.

Been married twice, lived to regret it both times.

I know there are people who have lived their lives differently, and have no regrets at all, but that does NOT give them the right to badger others about the choices that are right for them.

Tell her from me, "Stay strong, sister!"

[ShinyGreenApple]

I understand where you're coming from about getting flack, especially when you say you don't want children. I have my reasons, but I don't feel I should have to explain them to people who seem to think I'm some kind of evil bitch for not wanting babies/kids. I've put a lot of thought into this and no, I'm pretty sure I won't 'change my mind when I meet the right man' or that it'll be 'different if it's my own'.

I'd love to find a companion and possibly marry, but the single thing doesn't bother me too much. Except the other day when one of the other pharmacy employees asked if I was bringing anyone to the Christmas party this year because most people bring their SO's. I do have someone I could bring, and everyone assumes we're together because we're around each other a lot, but we're just friends and I don't want him to get embarrassed. Not that I'd mind if we were more, but still.

[zombiequeen]

Alright, I married young. Yeah, I'm 20 and married. But that was my choice and I don't care if someone else is married or single, has kids or doesn't.
Heck, I hate when people assume that because I'm young and married, I must either really want kids or already have them. Then I get to explain that medically I would die, and they backtrack or apologize or tell me there's pills for that. There are people that will argue with me that I should have kids, or that it's my purpose, or whatever. I don't want them, sure I'll babysit and make kids toys, but that doesn't mean I should have kids, you know? Nothing wrong with kids or the people who have them, but I don't feel I should. Hubby is fine with this, so we have our lizard and we'll just stick to pets. Not trying to be mean, but hey, some people just shouldn't, and I'm one of them.
I think it's up to the individual what they do. Heck, I have friends that would rather spend their lives with a cat, or dog, or box fan than another person. I still care about them, just not their relationship status.

[MoonCat]

Oh I hate when people badger you about your marital status (or lack thereof)! Same thing about the kids. I've never wanted kids. Plenty of people are having them, the world's not losing out because I haven't reproduced.

When you say you're happy without a spouse or without kids, some people get snarky because they interpret your answer as criticism of them or of their decisions, even though you don't mean that. If they don't like the answer, they shouldn't have asked the question.

[AnaKhouri]

It goes both ways; in my group of friends, I am the only one who is married and has a child. I get many snarky comments about it. Sometimes I think they feel I betrayed them somehow.

But I have seen unmarried/childless people get badgered too, and it probably happens more often that way.

No one's business but your own. Smile and tell them your happy with your choices, thanks, and how about that major sports team?

[blas]

By the time I was 22, I had heard so many times that I needed to get married and have a kid one day so often that I wanted to puke.

Then I heard the best, most encouraging words ever. I had this very motherly like coworker who mothered the heck out of me (she and another lady both did) and she was actually 40 years old pregnant with her first child and told me "Blas, you do what you want with your life. Do what YOU want and have all your fun before you settle down. If I had had this baby 20, 10, even 5 years ago, it would have been a disaster. I am so glad that this didn't happen until now. Settle down or have a family when YOU are ready and do not worry about how old you are when it happens."

To this day, she is the only person who has advised me to wait until I am older (and I mean older!) to have kids and get married. My parents and family don't pressure me to a sickening degree, but they'd rather see me married and barefoot in the kitchen pregnant sooner than later, and it just isn't going to happen.

[Amethyst Hunter]

A friend of mine, is 23 and is fairly certain that she does not want children or to get married.

Hell, I knew when I was *10* that I was childfree. Just my thing. As for marriage, I was always at best ambivalent about it. The older I get, the less sure I am that being in a relationship would be a good thing in my case. (Long, long story.) I am hermit, see me hide!

[BookstoreEscapee]

it's convinced that two-by-two is the only existing life script available.

Hey, the ants go marching one by one...(hurrah, hurrah!)

Heck, I hate when people assume that because I'm young and married, I must either really want kids or already have them.

But don't you know the only reason someone marries that young is because they got themselves knocked up? (My uncle got married at 16 for that reason; ask his family how that worked out when their 4 kids didn't even speak to him for a number of years after the divorce...he's happily remarried (probably ~40 years now) with another daughter (who's older than me by a few years) and 4 stepsons and has since reconciled with his other kids.)

I would love to be with someone but it's not the only reason to live.

[Munkie]

I"ve known since i was a little girl that i only ever wanted two children. that is all.

At work, theres a few people i see occasionally, and the first thing out of their mouths is "where's your boyfriend?" and when i tell them they're on crack and i don't have one, they demand "Why! you should have been married with kids at your age!"

WTF. with this guy in particular, he's been married FIVE TIMES. I keep telling him he is neither my mother nor my father and to mind his own god-damned business.

[AdminAssistant]

I'm so glad I waited this long to get into a serious relationship. And I fully intend to be married for several years before having kids. I want us to be able to really enjoy our time together before having to yield so much of our lives over to kids.

[Andara Bledin]

WTF. with this guy in particular, he's been married FIVE TIMES. I keep telling him he is neither my mother nor my father and to mind his own god-damned business.

Just ask him how well that's worked out with him.

I used to get people asking me about having kids. I've known for pretty much ever that I have no interest in kids. I have my hands full taking care of cats. Anything less independent would be at peril in my care.

These days, however, everybody I work with is quite aware of my disinterest in kids. Some of them seem to think I actively dislike children, which is fine by me.

^-.-^