I'm dangerous in the kitchen

[Mishi]

I've got lots of little burn scars and quite a few knifemarks on my hands, luckily they're not very noticable. Not that it bothers me, I just class it as the price for being able to cook well. I'm clumsy enough that I manage to injure myself slightly every time that I cook something special.

[Frantic Freddie]

Just remembered the time we were camping & I managed to put my brand-spankin' new knife through my left hand,Yes,I was doing something stupid.

[Cazzi]

I'm lethal in the kitchen
I drop hot things & throw knives at myself... for a big gal I'm very agile at jumping back out of the way of things hurtling point down towards my toes

I've had more minor cuts & burns than I can count, including some that needed to be glued back together;
and a bad one where I sliced a fingernail off downwards from cuticle to tip through the nail bed (<-- only look if your stomach is strong!)

I've got dents in the kitchen floor & worktops where pans have escaped my hands, I use the heavy copper bottomed ones and a lovely big floor dent where a frozen turkey narrowly missed taking out my toes

I've even had my fringe start singeing in the past!

Oh, and I've even managed to cut my shin on a broken chicken bone!
Was trying to manoeuvre a heavy black bin sack into a tall dumpster at the time!

[tacohuman]

heh. i've burned myself, cut myself, scalded myself, and a couple of years ago i slipped on some grease that had spattered on the floor and ended up falling and breaking my elbow.

[Jester]

I am not so bad with burns, though they happen as well, but I am notorious for cutting myself in the kitchen, and at work when I'm cutting up the fruit for the bar.

My roommate Mr. Anti-Social has actually gotten quite used to me coming to him with a hand in a bloody paper towel and asking him for help bandaging myself. The conversation usually goes something like this....
JESTER: "Dude.....I need your help. Quickly!"
MR. ANTI-SOCIAL: "Good lord, what did you do this time?"
(Not the easiest thing in the world to bandage a finger with only one hand, ya know.)

Hell, much of the time I cut up the fruit at the bar, I wear gloves, as I am constantly getting tiny little nicks and cuts from who knows where, and citrus juice does not feel at all good when you have even the smallest cuts on your hands.

Also, outside of the kitchen, years ago I gave up on eating stone crab. I love it, but in the majority of places, you have to shell it yourself, and while they provide you with crab crackers, it was pretty much impossible for me to shell those fuckers without walking away with bloody hands. I love stone crab, but unless a place is actually going to shell it for me, I am not ordering it.

Shouldn't make the blades so sharp.....

Sharp blades are far better than dull blades. At least with sharp blades, the cut is cleaner. Deeper, usually, but cleaner. Dull blades leave nasty, ragged cuts. I speak from much experience with both.

Just remembered the time we were camping & I managed to put my brand-spankin' new knife through my left handd.

My best friend Neets did this a few years ago, also while camping. Severed a tendon in her thumb, as I recall, and for a while they thought she was going to lose some or part of the usage of that thumb. Thankfully, though, she made a full recovery (after a surgery or two).

[firecat88]

Kitchen appliances scare me.

The first time I tried to make waffles for myself, I had the waffle iron open so I could get the waffles out. I leaned a little too close to the blasted thing, though, and ended up with a nice long, thin red mark on my arm.

Also, I've singed my fingertips trying to fry empanadas. I hadn't exactly perfected a technique for lowering them into the oil, and my dad was kinda just standing there, watching to see what would happen if I was left to my own devices. He calls it 'helping'.

More than actually hurting myself, though, I just have a tendency to do really stupid things in the kitchen.

1) I've destroyed a toaster by forgetting to check the setting when I was cooking a Poptart. The toaster happened to be on the highest setting. How it got like that, I do not know. Doubly sad was that it was the last of the S'mores Poptarts in the box.

2) Destroyed the microwave trying to prepare a frozen dinner. I had initially done the setting right- Put it on convection at a certain temp. However, I'd punched in the wrong time (3 mins instead of 30). So I start over and set the cook time for 30 minutes. Well, when I'd reset the time, I'd forgotten to reset that it should be on convection. 10 mins later, I smell smoke. I run back to the kitchen to find that the tray has melted, the food is burnt, and I killed the microwave.

3) I hate gas stoves. Or, rather, I apparently don't know how to work them very well. I went to turn it on and was waiting for the flame. The gas kept 'click-click-click-click'-ing, but no flame. So what do I do? Naturally, I turn the dial a bit more. When it finally sparked, there was a small fireball. I spent the next 10 minutes confirming that my eyebrows were still attached.

[Chromatix]

I once burned myself on the inside of my parents' gas-fired AGA. Why? Because the oven glove had a hole in it, which I'd temporarily forgotten about. No permanent scar, but it was a nasty blister.

On the flip side, my mother once managed to start a fire in *my* kitchen. Fortunately it was just a bit of oil in a frying pan, nothing flammable was nearby, and turning off the gas hob let it go out by itself. Also, it helped me find out that one of the smoke alarms in the house actually didn't work - it wouldn't even respond to a smouldering newspaper held directly under it.

[Jester]

Also, I've singed my fingertips trying to fry empanadas. I hadn't exactly perfected a technique for lowering them into the oil...

Two suggestions. Use long-handled tongs to lower them into and retrieve them from the oil.

Or get a spider for doing the same. It's a long handled utensil with basically a mini-strainer on the end, for retrieving food from liquid without bringing along the liquid....basically a deluxe version of a slotted spoon. I have one, and while I don't use it often (don't fry much), it's great! And they are rather inexpensive, too. (The one I linked to is all of 6 bucks.)