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... and hope that Mr. Rum has seen it too.
Background:
Today, Jan. 8, we will be going to see Mr. Rum's family down at the house of Mr. Rum's mom & dad. We will be opening Christmas presnets, visiting, and then eating the most horrendous ... er ... delicious(?) dinner at 4 PM.
The original plan was for me, Mr. Rum, and Child Rum to go down to PILs' house last night. However, due to some things that have happened during this past week, I nixed the idea of staying at their house last night (the least of which is that I have absolutlely NO desire to sleep on the very uncomfortable guest bed in the room we're always assigned). We will be going to PILs' house later this morning.
We found out last night that BIL#1, his wife, their 2 kids, along with BIL#2 and his wife went down to the PILs' house last night. I'm fine with that. It's also the exact opposite of what happened 2 years ago (which was a SNAFU). See, 2 years ago, we Rums left our house at approximately 5:45 AM, went to Safeway (grocery store), got some things, left our area at 6:30, made it to the PILs' area around 8/8:30 AM. So we could have breakfast with Mr. Rum's parents. We were told the other brothers and their families would be joining us shortly. BIL#2 and his wife showed up around 10:30. Then he waited for BIL#1 and his family. And waited. And waited some more. The presents (sans the presents from BIL#1) were under the tree and Child wanted to open them and we had to keep saying no. BIL#1 and his family didn't show up until almost 1:45 last year. I was beyond livid and we left shortly after opening the presents. (Last year, again with the BS of people just eating/drinking/socializing when I warned everyone that Child was sick with an ear infection and I didn't want to stay long).
Thus am I disinclined to get down to PILs' house any sooner than I have to. Dinner tonight is at 4 PM. We were planning to be there around 1:30 PM to socialize, open presents, and then eat.
/Background
Okay, now to the drama today & the revelation (light) I have come up with.
Last night, Mel (SIL#1) wrote on her FB page: Trying to get family together. Will only be spending 5 hours with them. (or something like that - Mr. Rum read it to me last night, I rolled my eyes, but I do remember that she was complaining about "only" getting 5 hours with the in-laws total).
That's fine.
This morning, Mr. Rum wakes me up to give me my thyroid med (I have to take it at least an hour before I eat, and he's coming back from the gym around 8:30/8:45). He told me that he was bringing breakfast for us, and that he'd like to leave at 9:30 which would get us to his mother's house around 11:30.
In his words: "So we can give Mel 6 hours with us instead of 5."
I countered back with: "If you loved me, you'd only give me 4 hours with your family."
He said: "If you loved me, you'd give me 6 hours."
And then I finally quipped: "If we BOTH loved Child Rum, we'd give her only 4 hours with your family."
Then he left the bedroom without saying a word, I laid back down to go back to sleep, and found I couldn't because I was crying.
And that's when it hit me: We've been so selfish with our pettiness about how he wants to spend more time with the family, and I don't that we forgot about Child Rum!
And here is the reason for needing to give her less time: Too many people = sensory overload.
There will be the following people at my PILs' house: MIL, FIL, BIL#1, SIL#1, K1 (grandchild 1), K3 (K1's sister), BIL#2, and SIL#2. that's 8 people right there. Then there are the 2 dogs that the PILs own (ones a black lab the other is golden lab mix, though now FIL thinks she's something else entirely - an English lab or shepard or something like that). So that ups the ante of beings in the house to 10. Not to mention K1 and K3 might be bringing their 2 lap dogs (which I doubt, but you never know with those 2).
So, we have at least 10 beings (not including me, hubs & daughter) in a very tiny house.
Now lets take a child with autism, who has sensory integration issues, and throw her into the middle of this mix and add the excitement of Christmas presents and the excitement of Sammy & Daisy (MIL/FIL's dogs) and see what happens.
Can anyone guess? Anyone?
It's not a pretty sight. Let me tell you.
And I'm the one who has to rein Child in. I'm the one who has to keep her from imploding. I'm the one who takes her to another room to settle her down and calm her down and keep her from going ballistic.
And Mr. Rum wants to spend 6 hours with his family? With me & Child Rum in tow?
If he wants 6 hours with them, he can drive his own car, and I'll meet up with him later with Child Rum in my car.
I'm so not looking forward to this.
But ... really ... If we did both love Child Rum as much as we claim we do, we'd be minimizing the time she has with family until she's older and can cope with the chaos that is Mr. Rum's family.
Background:
Today, Jan. 8, we will be going to see Mr. Rum's family down at the house of Mr. Rum's mom & dad. We will be opening Christmas presnets, visiting, and then eating the most horrendous ... er ... delicious(?) dinner at 4 PM.
The original plan was for me, Mr. Rum, and Child Rum to go down to PILs' house last night. However, due to some things that have happened during this past week, I nixed the idea of staying at their house last night (the least of which is that I have absolutlely NO desire to sleep on the very uncomfortable guest bed in the room we're always assigned). We will be going to PILs' house later this morning.
We found out last night that BIL#1, his wife, their 2 kids, along with BIL#2 and his wife went down to the PILs' house last night. I'm fine with that. It's also the exact opposite of what happened 2 years ago (which was a SNAFU). See, 2 years ago, we Rums left our house at approximately 5:45 AM, went to Safeway (grocery store), got some things, left our area at 6:30, made it to the PILs' area around 8/8:30 AM. So we could have breakfast with Mr. Rum's parents. We were told the other brothers and their families would be joining us shortly. BIL#2 and his wife showed up around 10:30. Then he waited for BIL#1 and his family. And waited. And waited some more. The presents (sans the presents from BIL#1) were under the tree and Child wanted to open them and we had to keep saying no. BIL#1 and his family didn't show up until almost 1:45 last year. I was beyond livid and we left shortly after opening the presents. (Last year, again with the BS of people just eating/drinking/socializing when I warned everyone that Child was sick with an ear infection and I didn't want to stay long).
Thus am I disinclined to get down to PILs' house any sooner than I have to. Dinner tonight is at 4 PM. We were planning to be there around 1:30 PM to socialize, open presents, and then eat.
/Background
Okay, now to the drama today & the revelation (light) I have come up with.
Last night, Mel (SIL#1) wrote on her FB page: Trying to get family together. Will only be spending 5 hours with them. (or something like that - Mr. Rum read it to me last night, I rolled my eyes, but I do remember that she was complaining about "only" getting 5 hours with the in-laws total).
That's fine.
This morning, Mr. Rum wakes me up to give me my thyroid med (I have to take it at least an hour before I eat, and he's coming back from the gym around 8:30/8:45). He told me that he was bringing breakfast for us, and that he'd like to leave at 9:30 which would get us to his mother's house around 11:30.
In his words: "So we can give Mel 6 hours with us instead of 5."
I countered back with: "If you loved me, you'd only give me 4 hours with your family."
He said: "If you loved me, you'd give me 6 hours."
And then I finally quipped: "If we BOTH loved Child Rum, we'd give her only 4 hours with your family."
Then he left the bedroom without saying a word, I laid back down to go back to sleep, and found I couldn't because I was crying.
And that's when it hit me: We've been so selfish with our pettiness about how he wants to spend more time with the family, and I don't that we forgot about Child Rum!
And here is the reason for needing to give her less time: Too many people = sensory overload.
There will be the following people at my PILs' house: MIL, FIL, BIL#1, SIL#1, K1 (grandchild 1), K3 (K1's sister), BIL#2, and SIL#2. that's 8 people right there. Then there are the 2 dogs that the PILs own (ones a black lab the other is golden lab mix, though now FIL thinks she's something else entirely - an English lab or shepard or something like that). So that ups the ante of beings in the house to 10. Not to mention K1 and K3 might be bringing their 2 lap dogs (which I doubt, but you never know with those 2).
So, we have at least 10 beings (not including me, hubs & daughter) in a very tiny house.
Now lets take a child with autism, who has sensory integration issues, and throw her into the middle of this mix and add the excitement of Christmas presents and the excitement of Sammy & Daisy (MIL/FIL's dogs) and see what happens.
Can anyone guess? Anyone?
It's not a pretty sight. Let me tell you.
And I'm the one who has to rein Child in. I'm the one who has to keep her from imploding. I'm the one who takes her to another room to settle her down and calm her down and keep her from going ballistic.
And Mr. Rum wants to spend 6 hours with his family? With me & Child Rum in tow?
If he wants 6 hours with them, he can drive his own car, and I'll meet up with him later with Child Rum in my car.
I'm so not looking forward to this.
But ... really ... If we did both love Child Rum as much as we claim we do, we'd be minimizing the time she has with family until she's older and can cope with the chaos that is Mr. Rum's family.
ready.
)
to Mr. Rum for the weight loss!
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