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Ok, I have been really withdrawn and MIA a ton lately. Well a bunch of crap happened and I just had issues dealing with it all so I withdrew from a lot of things.
I really didn't want to post a lot about it all because I do not like drama and I think it all sounds really really crazy.
So I have been with this guy for a long time. Things were rocky in the beginning between us and between him and his family. I complained a lot about it on the board. So when things started going a lot better I was almost embarassed to write about it because people were really hating him and his family.
We got pregnant by accident. I was on birth control and it was a total surprise. I was really freaked out at first. He was giddy. Which is awesome.
Then the drama starts.
His step father, who we will call jerk, gets really irrationally angry that I am pregnant. Starts spouting off that I planned it. That I had no right raising a child and I should give it up for adoption or have an abortion. His reasoning is My Fiance (we will call him FI) Was in the middle of a long drawn out divorce. She kept moving and refusing to sign anything. So it took 2 years. So he was technically still married. One of his other reasonings was FI has 2 boys from his first marriage. Therefore should not have any more children. We have custody of the boys.
I move past this but gain a great dislike for the man.
Then FI has to have his spine fused after I had the baby so we both went on disability and therefore not had our full pay within a 6 month time frame. Fi asked to borrow money from his mother. Jerk threw a fit. Said that we were worthless and refused to let his wife help her son.
Now jerk has had some huge medical problems in the past. has diabeties, has both legs amputated below the knee and has a kidney transplant. When he was having his medical issues he moved in with his mother and she did everything for him.
SO jerk was a huge hypproctite.
When FI's little sister claims to be pregnant. She is 18 and a senior in high school and lives with her mom. Jerk threatons to kick her out. But you know after she graduates. (its Feb) He wants to wait that long because he gets money from social security for her until she graduates and turns 19. (legal age in nebraska is 19)
FI's mother, we will call her MIL, says that she will leave jerk if he kicks out her daughter. They even start touring other places to live.
TMI WARNING!!!!!
Then my infant knocks other the bathroom trash can. I notice a lot of used heavily sanitary napkins. they are not from me as I had yet to have need for that since having my son. The only female that has used my master bath besides me is FI's little sister...the pregnant little sister? I confront her and she said that she was spotting. This was not spotting. I tell MIL that little sister needs to be checked out.
Guess what guys she apparently "miscarried" altough her doctor said she never was pregnant.
While jerk was being a jerk I was having a conversation about MIl leaving jerk with Fi's little sister and sister-in-law. We discussed how nasty of a person jerk was. How the divorce would be very very messy. I stated that I had hoped that the marriage would end with a death instead of a messy divorce. and that I had hopped that they sorted it out before our wedding.
FI proposed while I was still pregnant after his divorce was granted.
SO a few months pass and it is July. I get a text message from Jerk. Asking if I really hopped he died before my wedding. I ignore it because how could I set it straight without betraying MIL's plans of leaving him that never happened. (when daughter was no longer pregnant she decided to not leave her husband)
I showed FI and he told me that he would handle it.
SO a few days pass and MIL comes over and starts screaming at FI. Stating that I was evil, that she has always hated me. That he needed to leave me. No asking if there was any trugh to what was being said. No asking me what was going on. Just screaming at FI.
Fi threw her out and told her that he was tired of her always choosing men over her children. (many of her past boyfriends abused her children and her)
Apparently Little sister decided that she was mad at me and 5 months after the fact said that I told her that I wished Jerk would die before my wedding. and that I was thinking of ways to make it happen. MIL believed her even though she was a total drama queen and even faked a pregnancy.
At the same time My step father was still ill with menigitus complicated with AIDS. He was home but mom wanted somone there to help with him. As he needs to be supervised. And my grandmother was dying of cancer all in my mothers house. Mom needed help as it was draining her because she had to care for them both and do all the housework and cooking and work full time.
Fi suggested that we move in with my mother to help her and escape the toxic enviroment. As we were stuggling with living expenses after both being in disability that year. I agreed. Mom has a huge house and we get along great.
It has prooven a great decision for us. While we very much miss our friends we really dont miss FI;s family with the exception of his two brothers. The boys are growing and healither and happier. And even got on the honor role. They feel more loved and this neighborhood is great for them. Lots of friends their age. its a dead end street with a city park at the end. and only three blocks from their schools. And the schools here had half the class size as in nebraska.
I got to be there when my grandmother died. My toddler has really helpped my mother. There was so much death in the household and now there is joy.
Also I no longer feel like I am doing it alone. Fi is great but he works odd hours. (he transfferd jobs from a fast food taco place) So in nebraska I often felt like a single mother because I was doing the kids alone most of the time. Fi's family were very little help. Never wanted to babysit. Only caused drama.
Fi is doing better here too. He is going to be going back to school after the wedding. And has grown a spine. lol.
Now as great as moving to Indiana was we did leave things unfinished in Nebraska. Fi had asked me to let him handle it and he did poorly. He did stick up for me but never fully explained how much of a lie his sister told.
And Jerk cannot leave well enough alone. He started sending me stalkerish and harassing emails. He created a fake email address from yahoo. He and all of FI's family are blocked from my facebook. And he would send me excerpts from my status updates with his comments on them. He would threaton to expose to FI that I planned my pregnancy. (way off base there) He would call me fat and mock FI's job. He would threaton me with attorneys.
I have filed a police report about it. They will do anything because he has not threatoned physical violance. I reported him to yahoo. And he would create another email address to harass and stalk me with.
His cousins have joined the bandwagon of hating me. Its just a big mess really.
So we visited Nebraska this past weekend. I begged FI to see his mother. he wanted nothing to do with her. Apparently she had been posting passive agressive stuff about me and some downright mean things about us not bringing the children on facebook.
FI does not want the children brought into the negativity so he would not bring them.
I finally got tired of all this yesterday. I wrote to MIL. Explaining my side of the story and apologizing for anything that she percieved as wrong. That I wanted to heal this rift. That I was tired of her hurting her children and grandchildren over somthing I did not do. I had kept quiet per FI's request. He said he would handle it and honestly he is very angry that she could believe this about me. Angry that she is staying with her husband. He is emotionally abusive to her and her children.
I am so tired of all the drama. I have been known to ruthlessly cut out people from my life who cause drama. I am almost ready to write off MIL. Jerk is obviously out. Little sister I will be polite to but never be a friend to again.
it is all to crazy for me to handle sometimes.
I really didn't want to post a lot about it all because I do not like drama and I think it all sounds really really crazy.
So I have been with this guy for a long time. Things were rocky in the beginning between us and between him and his family. I complained a lot about it on the board. So when things started going a lot better I was almost embarassed to write about it because people were really hating him and his family.
We got pregnant by accident. I was on birth control and it was a total surprise. I was really freaked out at first. He was giddy. Which is awesome.
Then the drama starts.
His step father, who we will call jerk, gets really irrationally angry that I am pregnant. Starts spouting off that I planned it. That I had no right raising a child and I should give it up for adoption or have an abortion. His reasoning is My Fiance (we will call him FI) Was in the middle of a long drawn out divorce. She kept moving and refusing to sign anything. So it took 2 years. So he was technically still married. One of his other reasonings was FI has 2 boys from his first marriage. Therefore should not have any more children. We have custody of the boys.
I move past this but gain a great dislike for the man.
Then FI has to have his spine fused after I had the baby so we both went on disability and therefore not had our full pay within a 6 month time frame. Fi asked to borrow money from his mother. Jerk threw a fit. Said that we were worthless and refused to let his wife help her son.
Now jerk has had some huge medical problems in the past. has diabeties, has both legs amputated below the knee and has a kidney transplant. When he was having his medical issues he moved in with his mother and she did everything for him.
SO jerk was a huge hypproctite.
When FI's little sister claims to be pregnant. She is 18 and a senior in high school and lives with her mom. Jerk threatons to kick her out. But you know after she graduates. (its Feb) He wants to wait that long because he gets money from social security for her until she graduates and turns 19. (legal age in nebraska is 19)
FI's mother, we will call her MIL, says that she will leave jerk if he kicks out her daughter. They even start touring other places to live.
TMI WARNING!!!!!
Then my infant knocks other the bathroom trash can. I notice a lot of used heavily sanitary napkins. they are not from me as I had yet to have need for that since having my son. The only female that has used my master bath besides me is FI's little sister...the pregnant little sister? I confront her and she said that she was spotting. This was not spotting. I tell MIL that little sister needs to be checked out.
Guess what guys she apparently "miscarried" altough her doctor said she never was pregnant.
While jerk was being a jerk I was having a conversation about MIl leaving jerk with Fi's little sister and sister-in-law. We discussed how nasty of a person jerk was. How the divorce would be very very messy. I stated that I had hoped that the marriage would end with a death instead of a messy divorce. and that I had hopped that they sorted it out before our wedding.
FI proposed while I was still pregnant after his divorce was granted.
SO a few months pass and it is July. I get a text message from Jerk. Asking if I really hopped he died before my wedding. I ignore it because how could I set it straight without betraying MIL's plans of leaving him that never happened. (when daughter was no longer pregnant she decided to not leave her husband)
I showed FI and he told me that he would handle it.
SO a few days pass and MIL comes over and starts screaming at FI. Stating that I was evil, that she has always hated me. That he needed to leave me. No asking if there was any trugh to what was being said. No asking me what was going on. Just screaming at FI.
Fi threw her out and told her that he was tired of her always choosing men over her children. (many of her past boyfriends abused her children and her)
Apparently Little sister decided that she was mad at me and 5 months after the fact said that I told her that I wished Jerk would die before my wedding. and that I was thinking of ways to make it happen. MIL believed her even though she was a total drama queen and even faked a pregnancy.
At the same time My step father was still ill with menigitus complicated with AIDS. He was home but mom wanted somone there to help with him. As he needs to be supervised. And my grandmother was dying of cancer all in my mothers house. Mom needed help as it was draining her because she had to care for them both and do all the housework and cooking and work full time.
Fi suggested that we move in with my mother to help her and escape the toxic enviroment. As we were stuggling with living expenses after both being in disability that year. I agreed. Mom has a huge house and we get along great.
It has prooven a great decision for us. While we very much miss our friends we really dont miss FI;s family with the exception of his two brothers. The boys are growing and healither and happier. And even got on the honor role. They feel more loved and this neighborhood is great for them. Lots of friends their age. its a dead end street with a city park at the end. and only three blocks from their schools. And the schools here had half the class size as in nebraska.
I got to be there when my grandmother died. My toddler has really helpped my mother. There was so much death in the household and now there is joy.
Also I no longer feel like I am doing it alone. Fi is great but he works odd hours. (he transfferd jobs from a fast food taco place) So in nebraska I often felt like a single mother because I was doing the kids alone most of the time. Fi's family were very little help. Never wanted to babysit. Only caused drama.
Fi is doing better here too. He is going to be going back to school after the wedding. And has grown a spine. lol.
Now as great as moving to Indiana was we did leave things unfinished in Nebraska. Fi had asked me to let him handle it and he did poorly. He did stick up for me but never fully explained how much of a lie his sister told.
And Jerk cannot leave well enough alone. He started sending me stalkerish and harassing emails. He created a fake email address from yahoo. He and all of FI's family are blocked from my facebook. And he would send me excerpts from my status updates with his comments on them. He would threaton to expose to FI that I planned my pregnancy. (way off base there) He would call me fat and mock FI's job. He would threaton me with attorneys.
I have filed a police report about it. They will do anything because he has not threatoned physical violance. I reported him to yahoo. And he would create another email address to harass and stalk me with.
His cousins have joined the bandwagon of hating me. Its just a big mess really.
So we visited Nebraska this past weekend. I begged FI to see his mother. he wanted nothing to do with her. Apparently she had been posting passive agressive stuff about me and some downright mean things about us not bringing the children on facebook.
FI does not want the children brought into the negativity so he would not bring them.
I finally got tired of all this yesterday. I wrote to MIL. Explaining my side of the story and apologizing for anything that she percieved as wrong. That I wanted to heal this rift. That I was tired of her hurting her children and grandchildren over somthing I did not do. I had kept quiet per FI's request. He said he would handle it and honestly he is very angry that she could believe this about me. Angry that she is staying with her husband. He is emotionally abusive to her and her children.
I am so tired of all the drama. I have been known to ruthlessly cut out people from my life who cause drama. I am almost ready to write off MIL. Jerk is obviously out. Little sister I will be polite to but never be a friend to again.
it is all to crazy for me to handle sometimes.
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