A Bad Picture of a Beautiful Dress on a Curvy Girl

[KiaKat]

Check out designers like Wai-Ching and Kimera. They might have some suggestions.

Both Maggie Sottero and Alfred Angelo have red dresses at decent prices, but I prefer the above two, because of quality and the fact that it's a totally custom piece.

Gee, can you tell I did a lot of research? ^.^

[Marmalady]

The Knot declares any dress colour other than white or ivory, and any structure other than strapless to be Not Done and absolutely horrible.

Found myself nodding in agreement here.

I'm helping my mum do a wedding cake for her friends daughter, and the bride and her mum were telling us about how far she had to search to find a dress that actually had shoulders and sleeves. Every bridal shop she tried, all she found was row on row of strapless dresses.

Thing is, she was involved in a car accident a few years back and still has some scarring to her shoulder blade and upper arm. While she's come to terms with that, she doesn't particularly want it on display on her wedding day.

Giving up on the shops she went on some websites and found a designer to make what she wants (a kind of mediaeval type gown with flowing sleeves) in the colours she wants (deep sapphire blue with gold embroidery). She has long blonde hair and I think she's going to look stunning.

[KiaKat]

I was determined to Not Go Strapless. It was *hell* finding something. Five stores, probably close to 70 dresses by the time I found the one I posted here.

I love the mediaeval dresses. They're just gorgeous. Are they having a themed wedding?

[monolayth]

My dress came with a lace boloro jacket. And a purse. lol.

My fiance was married before me and they did a rennaissance wedding. So a no go for ours lol.

[Becks]

Save me from a strapless wedding dress!!

My grandma is making mine, as soon as I figure out what I want.

[Cookie]

I was very fortunate. My grandparents pretty much did it all. Grandma asked me what I wanted and made it happen. We designed the invitations. My grandmother made my dress. I don't want a link to a real pic of me viewable on a forum where I might vent about my job. However, if anyone wants to see the dress, shoot me a pm.

The wedding wasn't what I imagined. The decor was great, the food was amazing, the cake beautiful, and my dress and hair perfect. The thing was, we had it so far from home so my great grandmothers could make it because they're too old to travel, that literally none of my friends made it. With my grandparents' friends there, it looked more like a retirement party with a lost bride and groom wandering through. However, we did video streaming of the wedding using Ustream, which came complete with a chat room, and we were able to interact with all our friends that way. There were about 50 people there and a couple hundred online. It made up for it. Yeah, I would have liked some friends to be there, but hey, at the end of the day, we were married and that's what mattered.

Ok, yeah, there were other issues, too, but the pastor's wife is another rant for another day. She still makes me

[Marmalady]

I love the mediaeval dresses. They're just gorgeous. Are they having a themed wedding?

Not a themed wedding no (pity, Mum and I are invited and I'd so love to wear a mediaeval style too!) I do know that the designer is also making a shirt for the groom in the same colour as the brides dress, and that the bridesmaids are going to have similar styles to the bride, only their sleeves will be straight rather than the deep flowing ones and the skirts won't have the little trailing back. They are in pale gold.

[KiaKat]

That sounds so beautiful!

Cookie, I've considered trying to ustream, but I don't think the restaurant is set up for that, and now that my laptop is gone, it wouldn't be easy to set up, anyway.

[monolayth]

I am planning on ustreaming my wedding.

[Becks]

I'm planning on being one of three people allowed to drink at my wedding*.

*Me, Lizziebeff and my mommy.

[Jester]

As a single guy who has only been engaged once, and never married, you might think I might not chime in on this.

However, those of you who know me know I often have an opinion. But beyond my usual nature, I do know a thing or two about this subject, having been to over 200 weddings.

That is not a typo. I said I've been to over two hundred weddings.

No, I'm not a wedding crasher, or obsessed with them. I have been a guests or part of the bridal party in about a dozen or so weddings. I have been a server for several, and since I was a mobile DJ for several years, I figure I DJ'd about 150-200 weddings. (I don't have an exact number.) Yes, I was The Wedding Singer before "The Wedding Singer." And I can relate to a number of things from that movie.

But back on topic....

Due to these experiences, both professional and personal, I have seen and learned quite a few things. Here are my observations, in no particular order.

1. I have been to very elegant affairs where money was no object and they spent enough to pay off Charlie Sheen's coke debt. I have also been to backyard barbecues. Generally (though not always), the more relaxed ones were where people had more fun.

2. I have seen weddings with open bars, with cash bars, with no bars but some beers and wine available, and with no drinking at all. Almost without exception, the ones with alcohol were more fun for most attendees than the ones without. And the ones with open bars or alcohol available were more fun than the ones with cash bars. And I don't mean MY fun. I mean that had by the guests. (That is not to say I have not seen my share of alcohol-fueled drama. I have. Oh yes, I have.)

3. As has been said, something will go wrong with just about every wedding. Remember that, and be ready to deal with it calmly. Shit happens. The weddings that were planned with military precision down to the minute (yes, I've seen this) never, ever went to plan, more things got fucked up, and there was far more drama when things went wrong. My best advice to anyone getting married regarding planning: basic outlines are better than exact chapter and verse, if you get my meaning.

From the professional vault: I once showed up slightly late to a wedding. Keep in mind, when I say "late" I mean behind my usual schedule to get everything set up and ready to go. However, I always had the "turbo mode" where I could get things done quicker if need be. This particular time, I didn't need the turbo mode, as there was a far bigger problem slowing things down than a DJ who had had some traffic issues. Specifically, the woman who was catering the wedding and also providing all the flowers, including the bridal bouquet, was not there. She never showed. I never found out exactly what happened, but I do know that the put a screeching halt on everything, while the bridal party and their friends scrambled to get some kind of food and flowers together. It ended up being a sandwich meat affair, though as I recall, the flowers they found were damn impressive for last minute. Gave me plenty of time to set up, and no one noticed, as everyone was focused on the caterer/florist. I can only imagine the phone conversation that happened later...

4. Nerves are funny. A lot of people are nervous on their wedding day. But one of the best exchanges I ever heard was between a bride and one of her friends, shortly before the ceremony.
FRIEND: "Are you nervous?"
BRIDE: "Why should I be nervous? I've never wanted to do anything more than this in my life."
And she was absolutely chill.

From the personal vault: when my best friend Neets married Golf Boy, during the rehearsal, Neets was an absolute emotional wreck, and I was there to calm her down and keep her fine. The day of the wedding, however, she was cool, calm, collected, and on a perfectly even keel. I, on the other hand, was a disaster.

5. Toasts. It has been my experience that toasts that are given off the cuff and/or without a script go over much better and just work a lot more. Most toasters know about what they want to say, and those who can wing it, even with some minor flubs, still do better than those that go strictly from a memorized or written script. Now, don't get me wrong, some people just can't do that. And if they need a script to get by, who am I to say they shouldn't do it? But that doesn't change what I've seen: off the cuff works better than scripted.

6. The Red Dress. Here's the deal. If the bride wants to wear a red dress, it's her (and her groom's) day, so shut the fuck up. (My little sister did, in fact, wear a red dress on her wedding day.) If, however, you are going to someone else's wedding, and you just feel like wearing a red dress, make sure this will not offend the bridal couple. Because again, it is THEIR day, not YOURS. Something my older sister clearly forgot when she showed up at my cousin's wedding, wearing not only a crimson red dress, but one that showed way too much cleavage. *I* was offended for my cousin and his bride. Luckily, clearer heads prevailed before I really go going, and my Mom convinced The Witch to wear a shawl to partially cover up. (She couldn't do a thing about the red dress itself. But at least she wasn't completely distracting from the bride with her puppies.)

7. (which should have been number 1.) Something often forgotten by some family and friends is that in the end, a wedding day is about two people: the two getting married. It's not about their parents, or their parents' friends, or their parents' business partners, or their sibling's coke habit, or their cousin's need for attention, or how important the mother of the bride is, or how much you're gonna get laid for being an usher. It is about The Bride and The Groom. Period. That was the first thing I learned as a DJ, and often the Prime Directive I fell back on when dealing with various unreasonable people.

Great example of this was a wedding I was DJing where the bride and a few of her bridesmaids were dancing to "Hey Jealousy" or some similar tune, but no one else was on the dance floor. Some overly important flunky comes up to me and snottily asks why I was playing such crappy music. Looking them directly in the eye, I said simply, "Because the Bride specifically asked for this song." That deflated their sails really quickly.

Sadly, it seems that it's not just family members and friends (and even clergy...but don't get me started on that story) that forget the day is about the Bride and the Groom. A lot of the time, the Bride, her mother, and her friends also forget that, and believe (and often say) that the day is about the Bride. And to a lot of them, the Groom is inconsequential. Yes, it is the Bride's day...but she is not the only one getting married, so it is the Groom's day as well. It is about two people getting married and starting a life together, not about one woman getting all dressed up and looking pretty. At least, that is what I thought it was supposed to be about. But I'm a man--what the hell do *I* know?

**with the exception of the CS forums, This is a very accepting and nice place.

Shut the fuck up. Get out of here. We don't want or need your kind around here!*


*(This is absolutely a joke, making fun of the intolerance of other boards as mentioned in this thread. Monolayth is a friend of mine, and I'm just screwing around. Not only would I never actually say something like this to Monolayth, I would never say it to anyone on these boards, and find such behavior by other boards completely fucked up.)

I'm planning on being one of three people allowed to drink at my wedding*.

*Me, Lizziebeff and my mommy.

And no one else will be....why?

[monolayth]

Shut the fuck up. Get out of here. We don't want or need your kind around here!*


*(This is absolutely a joke, making fun of the intolerance of other boards as mentioned in this thread. Monolayth is a friend of mine, and I'm just screwing around. Not only would I never actually say something like this to Monolayth, I would never say it to anyone on these boards, and find such behavior by other boards completely fucked up.)

This totally made me crack up!

[AdminAssistant]

Almost without exception, the ones with alcohol were more fun for most attendees than the ones without. And the ones with open bars or alcohol available were more fun than the ones with cash bars. And I don't mean MY fun. I mean that had by the guests. (That is not to say I have not seen my share of alcohol-fueled drama. I have. Oh yes, I have.)

I would love to have an open bar of beer and wine, but since Dad's a recovering alky, welllll.....nope. (We're planning on having a separate reception here, and THAT will have the booze flowing to the extent that we can afford it.)

3. As has been said, something will go wrong with just about every wedding.

I'm very grateful to be friends with many directors, stage managers, and theatre people who are used to fixing shit that goes wrong. I plan on calling them into service to handle all that so I can relax!

FRIEND: "Are you nervous?"
BRIDE: "Why should I be nervous? I've never wanted to do anything more than this in my life."
And she was absolutely chill.

This was my sister's attitude to a tee. Completely relaxed and happy.

Yes, it is the Bride's day...but she is not the only one getting married, so it is the Groom's day as well.

Yep! Fiance definitely wants to be involved in some aspects (music, food, tuxes) and doesn't so much care about others (flowers, dresses). I've been absolutely appalled at how many of the bridal mags I've been reading treat the groom - like some complete idiot that you have to bribe to go to cake tastings and tux fittings.

We actually probably won't play much music at the actual wedding/reception, with it being outdoors and all. There are a few songs I'd like to play during the ceremony, and a few things Fiance wants. There will probably be some grumbling, since most people back home only like country music, and what we pick will probably be a combo of French chanson (Piaf and Brel), show tunes, and techno. But screw 'em, right?

[KiaKat]

My goal is to be low stress. Get everything done early, so the only thing that has to be worried about as we get down to the last week is the cake. The flowers are dried, none of the decorations have to be done last-minute, even the seating can be tentatively done early.

I have been with my fiance for six years - seven, by the time the wedding rolls around. By this point, I know I can live with him, he can live with me, we have the same goals, and I'm more in love with him now than I was in the beginning. I also know that we can talk about anything without it turning into a fight. That's not to say we never disagree - but we're willing to talk it out, and we both work to keep from snapping at each other over petty things. I'm not nervous about marrying him.

I am nervous about everyone having fun, but that has more to do with it being a northern New England wedding in November - not much to do there, tourist-wise! So I'm working on planning post-wedding events. Those are more stressful than the actual wedding!

Like I said - my goal is to be low-stress. All I care about in the end is marrying my best friend, and throwing a kickass party where all my loved ones are having a great time.

[Jester]

I've been absolutely appalled at how many of the bridal mags I've been reading treat the groom - like some complete idiot that you have to bribe to go to cake tastings and tux fittings.

Now, I don't read bridal magazines (shocking, I know), but I have seen numerous instances and attitudes where the groom is treated like a prop--no different than the cake, the flowers, or the food.